Oct 21 2009 New 'Star Trek' Getting Shatnier?
Going against all good sense that would logically keep William Shatner from reprising the role of Kirk in a new Star Trek sequel, director J.J. Abrams, speaking to reporters in Australia, revealed that he's still trying to figure out a way to pander to fans by working out some kind of time travel wormhole bullshit to get Shatner in this thing:
"It was a foregone conclusion we wanted him in the [first] movie," Abrams explained."The problem was his character died on screen in one of his Trek films and because we decided, very early on, that we wanted to adhere to Trek canon as best we could ... the required machinations to get Shatner into the movie would have been very difficult to do given the story we wanted to tell and also to give him the kind of part that he would be happy with.
"I feel like the first movie did some of the heavy lifting that needed to be done in order to free us to continue going forward. Maybe there's less of a burden and there's going to be more opportunity to work with [Shatner]."
Maybe have Data chauffeur Shatner from the afterlife to the past on an intergalactic humpback? Or does that make too much sense for the Star Trek universe? OK, just something with Q then.
May 5 2009 Does This Mean They Don't Go Back in Time to Save Orcas?
Tell me director J.J. Abrams at least included the notion that androids could master all of language except contractions.
(Thanks, Todd.)
Mar 31 2009 Green-Skinned Slave Girls Exist in Every Popular Science Fiction Franchise
MTV has just posted some scans of the new Star Trek trading cards, alerting us to several bits of pertinent information:
1. The film apparently features a cameo from Alien Natasha Lyonne's Character in Slums of Beverly Hills (above).
2. Young Spock stupidly gives old Spock a live-long-and-prosper (see here). That's totally going to eff up the time-space continuum. Every time travel movie warns not to blatantly gesture at yourself. That's amateur hour.
3. Companies still make movie trading cards. Who would have thought? Granted, I had the entire set of Tim Burton's Batman trading cards as a kid, but that was before internet and the competition of Pokemons Cards. Is this just a one-time thing because they know there are nerds who will buy anything Star Trek?
Mar 31 2009 Will Youthful Spock Die... Again???
Paramount is putting the tractor-beamed shuttle craft before the starship! (Or whatever the appropriate cart-before-the-horse Star Trek reference is.) Variety is reporting the studio is so confident about the success of their fresh-faced relaunch of the science fiction franchise that they're already preparing its sequel:
As Paramount Pictures readies the May 8 release of its "Star Trek" franchise relaunch, the studio is moving forward with a sequel, and has hired Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman and Damon Lindelof to pen the screenplay.J.J. Abrams, who directed and produced the latest chapter, is onboard to produce the follow-up alongside his Bad Robot partner Bryan Burk. No decision has been made yet on whether Abrams will return behind the camera for the sequel.
Story is still in the embryonic stage, but the trio are aiming to deliver their script to the Melrose studio by Christmas for what would likely be a summer 2011 release.
As for potential storylines, Kurtzman stressed that the writing team will wait to take a cue from fan reaction about which direction to go.
"Obviously we discussed ideas, but we are waiting to see how audiences respond next month," he said. "With a franchise rebirth, the first movie has to be about origin. But with a second, you have the opportunity to explore incredibly exciting things. We'll be ambitious about what we'll do."
Seems a little premature, but following the Star Trek Curse even/odd=bad/good philosophy, a hypothetical second film is probably already better than Final Frontier. I'll only start worrying once I hear Paramount is looking for a young Latino with a sculpted chest.
Mar 30 2009 The Most Amorphous 'Star Trek' Poster Yet!
Is all this motion blurring really confusing for anyone else? The only truly effective way to portray vehicle speed is by showing how high a girl's skirt is blown up as she's driven past.
Star Trek Final Theatrical One-Sheet Revealed Here First! [MySpace]
Mar 6 2009 New 'Star Trek' Trailer: Spock Hugs
It's so hard for Spock to hug. Trying so hard to remain emotionless but realizing the inevitable sentiment that spawns from a good hug. I think that's probably the main conflict in this movie:
Feb 2 2009 'The Star Trek' Super Bowl Spot
All this fast-paced action and extreme-sports free-falling and kissin'! J.J. Abrams is going to make Star Trek so cool, and we'll all be free to finally body modify our ears into points without fear of persecution. Unless you do it to look like an elf, not a Vulcan--that would be so nerdy.
Dec 17 2008 Harrison Ford and Rachel McAdams are the New Regis and Regis's Hot Up-and-Coming Producer
Harrison Ford is going to prove he can still do more than make a less enjoyable Indiana Jones movie. The actor is in talks to star alongside Rachel McAdams in Morning Glory, a comedy about a veteran anchor joining a morning talk show:
[Ford] has been cast as one of the personalities of "Morning Glory," a Paramount comedy that takes place in and around a morning talk show. Rachel McAdams is in final negotiations to join the cast as well.Roger Michell ("Venus") is attached to direct, and J.J. Abrams and Bryan Burk are producing through their Bad Robot banner. Sherryl Clark and Guy Riedel will executive produce.
Aline Brosh McKenna ("The Devil Wears Prada") wrote the script about a grizzled old-school anchor in the Ted Koppel mold (Ford) who quits in disgust with the gossip-heavy direction of the evening newscast. He is then recruited by a hot up-and-coming producer (McAdams) to help revive a morning talk show, only to be paired with his rival.
Could the rival he's paired with be... Diane Keaton, a fellow respected anchor that Ford just can't get along with until their heated arguments rage into fire in the bedroom? God, I hope not. Probably a decent bet though.
Aug 12 2008 J.J. Abrams Re-Making 'Cloverfield' with Earthquake Instead of Monster
J.J. Abrams has announced he's finally jumping on that late-'90s disaster movie bandwagon and making something about an earthquake. From THR:
[Abrams] and David Seltzer, the screenwriter of the original "Omen," are working together to shake up audiences with a disaster flick for Universal involving an earthquake. The project is untitled and not intended to be a remake of Universal's 1974 movie "Earthquake."Details of the story are being kept in a seemingly tremor-proof vault, though as is Abrams' modus operandi, relationships will be at the core of the project. Abrams arguably rewrote the rules for disaster flicks with "Cloverfield," which thrust the big story to the background by making the audience see the bedlam through the prism of a personal relationship.
In true Abrams form, he's already started viral marketing:
Continue Reading " J.J. Abrams Re-Making 'Cloverfield' with Earthquake Instead of Monster "
May 21 2008 More 'Fringe' Mysteries Solved in New Preview
First came the posters, covered with cryptic images, like leaves, which were covered in even crypticer images, like triangles. Now Fringe has a full preview, revealing more clues to the unfulfilling mysteries that await those who watch Fox. Below the cut, see the trailer to J.J. Abrams' latest sure-to-be-drawn-out series, along with my thorough analysis of its hidden mysteries. (Thanks, Chaz!)
Continue Reading " More 'Fringe' Mysteries Solved in New Preview "
May 15 2008 I Just Solved the J.J. Abrams' 'Fringe' Posters
As any Lost fan will tell you, both the fun and the frustration of a J.J. Abrams production is that practically every image and symbol is full of hidden meaning. But these meanings can be difficult to decipher, and who has the time? Thus, as a public service, I've taken the time to figure out the cryptic clues hidden within the five new posters for Abrams' Fringe. You're welcome. (Thanks to TV Week for the images.)
Clue 1: (above) Count Rugen has left forensic evidence. Has he killed someone else's father? Hard to say just yet, but this image does support one of the theories behind Lost's four-toed foot statue: J.J. Abrams thinks adding or subtracting digits is crazy.
Continue Reading " I Just Solved the J.J. Abrams' 'Fringe' Posters "
Feb 14 2008 'Star Trek' Pushed Back Four Months
Those hoping to wait in line Christmas Eve night and get the first glimpse of Zachary Quinto doing an impression of Leonard Nimoy may have to wait a bit longer than expected (and finally devote a holiday to your family, rather than a nerdy obsession). Variety is reporting J.J. Abrams' Star Trek prequel is being pushed back from Christmas Day to May 8 of next year, with Paramount realizing the sci-fi film could be more profitable competing against the outdoors than other films.
'Star Trek' pushed back to 2009 [Variety]
Jan 31 2008 Inevitable 'Cloverfield' Sequel Looming
What did you think upon first walking out of Cloverfield? That was enjoyable enough, if gimmicky and unbelievable? What a letdown after six months of marketing? I feel incredibly nauseous? If any of these are close, you obviously aren't a Paramount executive; their reaction to your leaving the theater was pupils transforming into dollar signs and the audible ching of cash register. Yes, as you've probably already suspected (and despite a massive box office drop from its opening week, an indicator that maybe audiences don't want to see more Cloverfield), Paramount is in talks with director Matt Reeves to direct a sequel to the shaky-cam hit.
Matt Reeves is in early talks with Paramount to direct a "Cloverfield" sequel, and he has also made a deal with GreeneStreet Films to direct "The Invisible Woman."Timing of the projects will depend on how quickly Paramount can complete discussions with Reeves, producer J.J. Abrams and scribe Drew Goddard to scare up another monster tale for the "Cloverfield" sequel. There's a good chance the sequel will be Reeves' next film, in which case he will direct "The Invisible Woman" afterward.
I think there's a metaphor to be made here about something huge rising out of nowhere, creating a huge spectacle, and drawing massive crowds, only to have it mercilessly bombed to a painful oblivion. I'm not willing to piece it together, but you get the idea.
Paramount sows 'Cloverfield' sequel [Variety]
Jan 22 2008 'Star Trek' Gets All Viral Marketing Style
Man oh man, can't J.J. Abrams just be straight with anything? Why is everything a complicated mystery game with this guy? Looking at the official Paramount Star Trek site, there appears to be nothing but the teaser trailer and, like your ever-in-progress Geocities page, an under construction message... or so it would seem! Click the red light next to "under construction" message and you get sent here, to the worst video feed possible of the Enterprise construction. Despite the technological advancements that allow sophisticated space travel, it seems security camera quality and welding techniques will still remain virtually unchanged, if not worse, in the 23rd century.
Camera 01 is shown as being offline, but I'm pretty sure I saw something flash on it while the page was running in the background. Can anyone confirm this, or was I experiencing some sort of nerd mirage?
Jan 21 2008 'Star Trek' Trailer Legitimately Available Online
The legitimate trailer for Star Trek has arrived online and in HD, effectively replacing the awful bootleg version from Friday, so you can really scrutinize it to your geeky heart's content.
For example, once you see it in HD, you'll surely notice that's not the correct plating on the saucer section. Everyone knows they used urythium on the saucer section, and urythium can only be welded with a modified phaser array, as seen in episode #204, stardate 40053. I made all of that up, but that's the gist of what I'm hoping someone will point out.
Star Trek Trailer [Yahoo!]
Jan 18 2008 'Star Trek' Teaser Trailer, in Glorious Cell Phone-Quality
Once again, the ingenuity of the modern bootlegger provides us with a blurry, flickering glimpse of the new Star Trek trailer without the ridiculous ticket price or hassle of entering society. It's too dark to get a good look at the Enterprise assembly, but still worth experiencing to hear Leonard Nimoy's updated, histrionic reading of the "space... the final frontier" line, said with the same dramatic intonation as you'd say, "I'm dying... But before I go, the treasure is..."
Continue Reading " 'Star Trek' Teaser Trailer, in Glorious Cell Phone-Quality "
Jan 17 2008 Hey, It's That Ship From 'Star Trek'!
Hey, it's that ship from Star Trek--and it's being constructed! Can you imagine building this thing, in the 23rd century or whatever? I bet the camaraderie you feel with your builder friends in the future is much better than it is now. Just basking in the knowledge, "Well, guys, we made it. It's the future, and we're still union."
Jan 7 2008 More, Better 'Cloverfield' Viral Marketing
I've gotten pretty worn out with all the viral marketing that seems to be essential to any big-budget film coming out in the next year, but in particular with the efforts of Cloverfield. While The Dark Knight's exhaustive campaign mixes real-life planted swag with online clue-hunting (still sort of annoying), Cloverfield has chosen a strategy more along the lines of here's something, figure it out. With a detailed website for a fictional corporation with no obvious connection to the monster attack and an out-of-touch, obvious jab at Japanese culture, each piece of the puzzle added to a final image that appeared to be an Ouroboros of apathy. OK, I get that frozen soda is somehow involved with the monster. So what?
But now, taking a route more similar to The Darjeeling Limited than Lost, JJ Abrams and company have released some clips that, while still somewhat cryptic, serve as more of a prelude to the film than an intentionally vague clue. This is what viral marketing should look like. Or just something with Will Ferrell shirtless.
See the clips and analysis here.
Jan 2 2008 JJ Abrams' 'Star Trek' Now Tyler Perry's 'Star Trek'
After providing their fictional future universe with a black, blind dweeb, a gruff black guy with bumps on his head and sash, a black commander and IBM endorser, and a black Spock, the owners of the Star Trek franchise are clearly running out of ways to push the series into the "urban markets" they've heard so much about. Do black nerds exist, they ask. If so, where are they? How do we get them? For god's sake, was the guy from Roots not enough?
Possibly inspired by George Lucas bringing the misplaced badass-ness of Samuel L. Jackson into Star Wars, they have one final, desperate idea. There is one last, gospel-inspired ace up their sleeve, and his name isTyler Perry.
Yes, the man who brought you Tyler Perry's Hey, I'm Dressed Like an Old Fat Lady, Tyler Perry's Hey, I'm Still Dressed Like an Old Fat Lady, and Tyler Perry's Tyler Perry and Friends Go Through Marital Strife with Janet Jackson is reportedly joining J.J. Abrams' Star Trek prequel as the head of Starfleet Academy.
I have to hand it to you, fellas. Nothing says "urban market" (and a high probability for morbidly obese cross-dressing) like Tyler Perry, except maybe Eddie Murphy or Martin Lawrence. This will surely be your entrance to the world of hip-hop music and cryptic slang that you've tried so long to grasp.
And while we're on the topic, can we drop the whole "urban" thing right now? We all know what you're talking about. Cloaking the subject of African-American audiences behind a broad regional term does not equate to racial tolerance. Its sentiment is far closer to "I'm afraid of black people, so maybe if I never address them openly they won't rob me. But how about that Kanye West, eh?"
Dec 14 2007 First Three Minutes of 'Cloverfield'
With non-stop monster destruction, huge explosions, and shaky handheld camera, Cloverfield looks to be the #1 movie of next year that your mom would hate. For me, it would be something like this:
"What is this, a rich party? I thought this was monsters."
"Mom, shhh."
"Is his a home movie? I didn't pay to see a camcorder show. Wait... did you make this? Is this one of your movies?"
"No, Mom. Please, be quiet."
"What is all this terrible noise? All this shaking camera is making me sick. I'm going to wait in the car. You have fun with your Draculas movie."
So, I guess my point is to watch this preview, but don't take your mom. Just have her drop you off and pick you up, like usual. Thanks for the tip, Dave.
