Jun 16 2009 Indiana Jones, Shia LaBeouf Searching for Futher Religious/Alien Artifacts?
Ut oh, Shia, you've just caused hubbub! Speaking to an obviously-possessed BBC interviewer, LaBeouf gave the following brief-but-terrifying response when asked if we'd see him in another Indiana Jones movie:
"Steven just said that he cracked a story on it before I left, and, uh, I think they're gearin' that up."
I can appreciate the spirit of being launched out of a nuclear test site and climbing right back into that fridge to try again, but this is not a good idea, Steven Spielberg. You (along with Oprah) are the most powerful person in media (source: I think I read that in a magazine once); can you not use that power for good? Just finish Tintin, throw Liam Neeson in a top hat and do the Lincoln thing you've been talking about for a decade, and put this Indiana Jones thing to bed. Thank you.
I'm not sure I believe the story anyway. LaBeouf using the phrase "cracked a story" makes me think maybe Spielberg's quote was mistranslated when converted from English to 1920s Reporter Speak.
Mar 10 2009 Spielberg, Lucas, Kasdan Show Their Work on 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'
Ready to take your Indiana Jones fandom to the next level? Mystery Man on Film has posted a 125-page transcript of George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, and screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan brainstorming what would become the character of Indiana Jones (née Smith) and the film Raiders of the Lost Ark. It's like an origin story of the origin story, and overall a pretty good read. Who would believe the idea of adding a fourth, lackluster chapter thirty years later wasn't part of the original schema?
(via the Boing Boing.)
Jun 16 2008 'Incredible Hulk' Made Money Last Weekend
1. The Incredible Hulk - Looks like the Hulk wasn't the only thing that was big and green this weekend, and I'm not talking envy! Greenbacks! American dollars! Cinema theatre profits to the tune of $54.5 million! Sorry, Kermit, looks like it is easy being green! (You should read this as if you're an announcer from the '20s.)
2. Kung Fu Panda - The formula of celebrity vocal chords + anodyne, computer-generated comedy continues to prove itself, earning another $34.3 million
3. The Happening - More like the Not Happening! Assuming we consider "happening" to be making more money than other movies. ($30.5 million)
4. You Don't Mess with the Zohan - A 57% drop to $16.4 million as moviegoers decide to wait for the unrated Zohaniest edition, with new, never-before-heard accents.
5. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - $13.5 million, but it turns out all the ticket buyers were aliens!
Jun 9 2008 'Kung Fu Panda' Messes with 'Zohan', Thus Winning Box Office
1. Kung Fu Panda - That this is both making a lot of money and getting pretty decent reviews confuses and angers me. ($60 million.)
2. You Don't Mess with the Zohan - The second-place, $40 million gross could have been much higher had Zohan opened last week, before Sandler's remaining fan base graduated middle school.
3. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - The addition of another $22.8 million brings Indiana Jones to a total gross of $253,026,000. So yeah, George Lucas will order the deluxe veggie burger.
4. Sex and the City - $21.3 million and untold gallons of estrogen.
5. The Strangers - $9.2 million, easily topping competing horror movies The Loose Acquaintances and Let's Get Out of Here: I Think I Met That Dude at a Party, But I Really Don't Want to Talk to Him Again.
Jun 2 2008 'Sex and the City' Seen by Many, Many Women
1. Sex and the City - $55.7 million--and they're spending it all on shoes! Here we go again!
2. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - $46 million, a drop in profit that reflects just how frightened the Indiana Jones fans were of the Sex and the City fans.
3. The Strangers - $20.7 million, falling short of the expectation that it would somehow beat two extremely well-known and popular franchises whose fans have waited years for a movie.
4. Iron Man - $14 million, with many re-watching the film to see the after-the-credits scene where Robert Downey Jr. rolls around in money laughing.
5. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - Families looking to avoid sex and violence turned to Prince Caspian, which only contains a couple scenes of an undead lion smiting non-believers, earning $13 million.
May 27 2008 'Indiana Jones' Whips Weekend Competition, Using His Famous Whip
1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - A dutiful sense of responsibility combined with the subconscious desire to kill your idols brought Indiana Jones to $126 million, nestling it at #2, between Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End and X-Men: The Last Stand, on the chart of Horribly Disappointing Memorial Day Weekend Sequels.
2. The Chronciles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - The substantial drop to $28.6 million is widely thought to be related to Prince Caspian's running theme of not being Indiana Jones.
3. Iron Man - $25.7 million, which is still a ton when you consider that this is its fourth week, and that the film frequently digresses into quoting Swingers.
4. What Happens in Vegas... - $11.1 million, making it the most profitable marketing slogan-based movie since Where's the Beef? 2.
5. Speed Racer - $5.2 million, which isn't that bad if you disregard that it cost $120 million to cover Earth in a pupil-wrecking CGI lacquer.
May 19 2008 George Lucas Threatens Us with 'Indiana Jones 5'
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull may not come out until Thursday, but renowned trilogy-diluter George Lucas already has already mentioned plans to see if he can stretch the straining whip of Indiana Jones just a little bit further. If you're like me, you heard this and immediately thought, "Alright, fine. I put up with three flaccid entries in the Star Wars series; I can live through a few more shameful continuations of beloved series. Just tell me you're not doing the 'Shia LaBeouf is the new Indy' thing everyone worried about. Give me that much." But, of course, he couldn't give me that much. Straight from the mouth of the bearded tube protruding from flannel:
I haven't even told Steven [Spielberg] or Harrison this, but I have an idea to make Shia [LaBeouf] the lead character next time and have Harrison come back like Sean Connery did in the last movie. I can see it working out.
You can see it working out, eh? What gives you that impression? The tepid reception Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is getting? The fact that having a non-Indiana Jones lead in an Indiana Jones movie would remove the single expectation fans foolishly assumed you could consistently meet? The gust you felt across your beard as Earth sighed? I'm going to let this go for now, and hope this is Lucas's idea of a joke. Unfortunately, having seen all the Star Wars films, I know it's impossible that he could be that funny.
May 8 2008 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' Crystal Skulls Explained
The press kit for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has been released, including 27 new images and a lengthy, unnecessary backstory for the fabled CRYSTAL SKULLS! In short, they're a plot device in a very specific archaeological erotic novel:
When she first touched the artifact, Anna reported experiencing strange sensations. And any time she placed the skull near her bed at night, she reported vivid dreams of the Mayan Indians who had lived thousands of years ago, and of their everyday life and ritual sacrifices.
Read the full "History Behind the Mystery," as Paramount is referring to it, under the cut.
Continue Reading " 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' Crystal Skulls Explained "
May 5 2008 New Trailer to One of Those 'Indiana Jone' Movies
There's this new movie coming out, something along the lines of a National Treasure or a Tomb Raider. It involves an older gentleman--sort of a cool Han Solo character with a whip and detective hat--the kid from Even Stevens, Bill Murray's girlfriend from Scrooged, and Queen Elizabeth affecting a Russian accent, all attempting to sell a ridiculous plot involving a solid-gold city, an all-powerful skull made of crystal, and the dead rising from the grave. I'm told it's a follow-up to some pirate boat movie and one of the Monty Python films. If you're interested in such things, a new trailer is under the cut.
Continue Reading " New Trailer to One of Those 'Indiana Jone' Movies "
Apr 29 2008 'Indiana Jones 4' on TV, in Commercial Form
Did you think you were going to get more than a day without some sort of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull media? Nice try, suckers. Here's the new TV spot for what I'm hiply-dubbing IJ4:KotCS (you say the last part "cot-kiss"), chockfull of some fantastically redundant titles for anyone at all familiar with the series. Apparently, Indiana Jones is investigating some sort of "ancient secret" this time? Get the F out! Seriously though, the music and everything had me pretty excited for 30 seconds.
Continue Reading " 'Indiana Jones 4' on TV, in Commercial Form "
Apr 22 2008 More 'Indiana Jones' Images: Skulls, Silhouettes, Mutts, Etc.
Where would you be without a semi-daily update of photographs from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? I imagine it would be a sad existence, devoid of the knowledge of if scenes exist where Indy gets stuck in quicksand (they do!); if our hero ever stands backlit atop a smokey hilltop (yes!); if Indy and "Mutt" stroll through a street market from a slightly different angle than last time we saw them walk through a street market (check!). Luckily, you need not consider such a life, because there's yet another batch over here.
Apr 17 2008 Spielberg & Lucas Talk About 'Indy 4', 'Internet'
How can you tell whether or not an interview is going to be hard-hitting? Usually when it begins "This is like having Superman and Batman in the same room. [Laughter]," that's a good indication. So begins this Entertainment Weekly interview with Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, which--despite rattling on about how this crazy "internet" and "blogosphere" have made "spoilers"--reveals some mildly interesting motivations for some decisions on this last Indiana Jones adventure.
Or, if interviews aren't your thing, there's the above new shot from USA Today. Zoinks! Indy and Mutt found a skeleton!
Apr 16 2008 Haven't You Been Anxiously Anticipating the Approximate Running Time of 'Indiana Jones 4'? No? Well, Anyway...
Like pretty much everyone on Earth, you probably have at least some desire to see the new Indiana Jones movie. But have you considered your plans immediately following and preceding the film? Should you force yourself to pee before it starts, or can you wait until afterwards? Get popcorn or hold out for a post-movie full meal? Get a babysitter or take a chance on the Starbucks staff letting your child continue sitting on that bench?
Of course you haven't thought these things; you'd need to know the approximate running time before you could make such crucial decisions! Well, dear readers, I've got it for you: 140 minutes or so, just under Grandma's limit for staying in the car.
Some people are already saying 140 minutes sounds a bit long for the typically-shorter adventure series. I disagree; this is totally going to be the best running time ever. What are your entirely speculative thoughts on the length of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?
140 Minutes Plus [Hollywood Elsewhere]
Mar 28 2008 Today's Gratuitous 'Indiana Jones' Promo Shot
The adventure begins May 22, but the romance continues straight on through to December.
Indiana Jones and Mutt Williams [/Film]
Mar 27 2008 From 'Indiana Jones' Set: Someone's Got Peach Fuzz!
Even a leather jacket, bloody knife, 90210 hair, and a mirage of a mustache are unable to portray any hint of manliness against LaBeouf's full, pouty lips.
Alternately: Who is this, Shia LaBouffant!?
New Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Photos [The Raider]
Mar 10 2008 'Indiana Jones' Has Another Poster
Thank god someone's finally getting to seriously promoting this thing. I was getting worried they were going to stop after the sixth poster, but this new one really drives home the point that this will be nearly a parody of an Indiana Jones movie.
'Indiana Jones' could rescue a shaky summer [USA Today]
Mar 7 2008 And Another 'Indiana Jones' Shot
This new shot from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has me a tad concerned. If this is any indication of a larger trend, the film may go in the direction of Indy finding himself in remarkable, seemingly inescapable situations, only to miraculously avoid certain death through startling ingenuity, daring bravery, and the blind ineptitude of his foes. I mean, once would be somewhat feasible, but it would be pretty silly if that kept happening, over and over, through several films.
Feb 27 2008 More Images from 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull'
For today's dose of Indiana Jones, Nibenay has five new shots to indulge in, scanned from the popular French magazine "Fourth-Wall Breaking Old Ladies in Funny Hats Monthly". Check them out here.
Feb 14 2008 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' Trailer
Well, it's finally here: the trailer to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. If you like adventure, nostalgia, explosions, soundstages as exteriors, long inexplicable pauses in action for joke delivery, or any combination thereof, you're going to be excited as shit. And let's be honest, even if you hate the trailer, you'll be excited anyway--it's Indiana Jones, for god's sake.
Continue Reading " 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' Trailer "
Feb 13 2008 Indiana Jones Doing More Hunting for Crystal Skulls, L'espresso
I've discovered a fun way to enjoy these new, otherwise pretty boring Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull photos. First, pretend L'esresso is some kind of Italian coffee brand, then imagine a ludicrous scenario in which Indiana Jones has to do crazy things in search of his favorite coffee brand, L'espresso. (Think Mentos and early Diet Coke commercials.) The only catch is, your commercial has to end on one of these freeze frames, followed by a baritone Italian's booming voice shouting, "L'espresso!"*
It's as good a way as any to waste ten minutes
*Bonus points if your commercial includes a shot of Indy replacing a cup of L'espresso on a pedestal with an equivalently weighted bag, or anything with whipping.
Indiana Jones: tre foto dall'Espresso [Bad Taste]
