Oct 13 2009 Finally Getting Around to Making Some Sort of 'Hobbit' Movie Next Spring

Man, how long have we been waiting for a live-action Hobbit movie? Ever since we pretended to read The Hobbit for a middle school book report? Since we saw the Lord of the Rings movies? Since we again pretended we'd read The Hobbit after the Lord of the Rings movies came out? Regardless, it's been a while. So you'll be glad to know Sir Ian McKellen claims the Hobbit films will finally begin shooting in the spring:

The scripts for the two films will be delivered very soon. Then they'll be budgeted, and then they'll be cast. And they'll be going when they've always said they would be, which is next spring – March or April. Guillermo even told me at one point, 'We're going to film for 383 days.' He's got that artistic autism! Jackson's the same; they're very, very, very alike.

Hey, I think maybe I'm like Guillermo del Toro and Peter Jackson too! No one has ever quite said I have "artistic autism," but I have been called "creatively retarded"!

Aug 5 2009 'Orphanage' Getting Remake, Adding English

The Orphanage, one of the few notable horror films in recent memory that wasn't a sequel or remake, is being remade! Producer Guillermo del Toro has hired Larry Fessenden to write and direct the film and give the dated, 2007 concept new relevancy by replacing all that pesky Spanish dialogue with good ol' English.

Word of remake is typically a sighing occasion, but this could turn out alright. Like Orphanage director Juan Antonio Bayo, Fessenden was hand-picked by del Toro, and he's no stranger to genre films, having directed, wrote, produced, edited, and acted in a huge list of horror films you've probably never seen (unless you rent anything with the word "wendigo" on the cover, in which case you've seen two of his films).

The film industry's plan to make everyone scared as shit of orphans and their habitats is nearly complete.

Jan 23 2009 Double M Working on 'The Hobbit'

I hope you're as into the amazing-yet-predictably-stylized art of Hellboy creator Mike Mignola as much as I am (did you rent Disney's Atlantis just to see his production designs in the special features?) because then you'll be excited that Guillermo del Toro has revealed he'll again be working with the artist on The Hobbit:

With work on “The Hobbit” really starting to move forward, Guillermo del Toro updated MTV News this week with exclusive scripting, casting and pre-production news, including confirmation that “Hellboy” creator Mike Mignola will be coming aboard for early visualization.

“We are sketching and designing with Weta’s John Howe, and [Adam Lee],” del Toro offered. “Mike Mignola is coming soon. He’s going to do a stint on the design team.”

Now you'll know what's up when Middle Earth is suddenly filled with floating crowns, statues set amidst showers of falling leaves, blocky shadows of dense blackness, and Nazi zombies.

Trust me, that was a really witty comment if you're intimately familiar with his art.

Jul 10 2008 Spoil the Big Climactic Battle of 'Hellboy II' with This Clip

If you trust the critical majority, it looks like Hellboy II should be the clear choice for this weekend's moviegoers not bent on seeing Brendan Fraser inside the Earth's dinosaur-fllled core or Eddie Murphy inside Eddie Murphy. So I would advice not watching this clip that shows over a minute of the big battle between Hellboy and evil Edgar Winter unless you really want to go in having already seen what is likely the climax. But if you're one of those people in the latter, Meet Dave-enthusiastic category, who will probably prove their hypothetical existence when the box office numbers come in, I encourage you to watch this so that you know what you're missing while you stare stoically agape at Eddie Murphy the Ship sneeze out Eddie Murphy the Alien.

Continue Reading " Spoil the Big Climactic Battle of 'Hellboy II' with This Clip "

Jun 27 2008 New 'Hellboy II: The Slapstick Comedy' Clip

Latino Review has an exclusive new clip from Hellboy II: The Golden Army here. If anyone was begging for the sequel to contain more slapstick comedy and uncomfortable parallels to domestic abuse, this clip is for you. Plus, you get to see Johann the ectoplasm guy doing things.

Anyone else curious why Guillermo del Toro went with Family Guy's Seth MacFarlane for Johann's voice, when it's clear he wanted Robert Smigel doing Triumph the Insult Comic Dog?

(Updated: link is now functional!)

May 20 2008 'Hellboy II' Discarded Concept Art: Awful Dog Thing

At the New York Comic Con panel, when Guillermo Del Toro announced he'd be posting concept designs of a three-headed dog that had been cut from the film, I had foolishly pictured the animal as a traditional Cerberus--something with three distinct heads emerging from a single body. It had never occurred to me that it might be a far more grotesque creature--one with three wrinkled faces stretched across a single head, and a body equal parts Zuul from Ghostbusters, Popeye, and Britney Spears Birthing Monument. That's probably why I'm not a Hellboy II designer, and why I'm not haunted by constant nightmares. At least until now.

Yrdrig Concept Art [Official Site]

May 16 2008 'Hellboy II' Poster News Flash: He's Apparently the Good Guy

Actually, I do believe he's the good guy. After seeing an entire movie based around this character, I was left utterly convinced he was, in fact, the good guy. And after seeing five Batman movies, I'm starting to get an inkling that this character dressed as a bat, however dark and brooding he may seem, may also be fighting on the side of good.

The New Hellboy II One-Sheet [Coming Soon]

Apr 25 2008 Del Toro is Definitely Doing 'The Hobbit'

Guillermo del Toro, director of Hellboy and Pan's Labyrinth--and the same man who, at NYCC, told a 15-year-old that "the pubes are popping"--has been formally announced as the director of The Hobbit and its planned sequel. This had been rumored as a nearly sure thing for some time, but this was the first absolute confirmation. I, for one, am pretty confident del Toro has the skills to pull this off. Particularly the scenes where Gandalf shoves his eyeballs in his palms and chases Bilbo around.

Guillermo del Toro to direct 'Hobbit' [Variety]

Apr 21 2008 NYCC Report: 'Hellboy II: The Golden Army'

Despite suffering what he described as "grotesque weight gain," director Guillermo Del Toro was in attendance at the New York Comic Con to discuss Hellboy II: The Golden Army--and he brought along creator Mike Mignola and stars Ron Pearlman, Selma Blair, and Doug Jones to sit mostly-quietly alongside. From what I can pull from my memory and scrawled notes, here's what happened:

- The entrance of each Hellboy player is received with thunderous applause and a standing ovation, followed by shouts from the back to sit down. Del Toro begins his typically expletive-filled discussion.

- A "sizzle reel"--essentially a trailer with some unfinished effects, meant to spark interest--is shown. It features even more freaks than the last trailer, and hints at a romance between Abe and the priestess and disputes between Hellboy and the ectoplasmic psychic, Johann. Conflict!

- When the lights come back up after the trailer, a batch of the aforementioned freaks are lined up on the stage. One holds a skinless man in a basket; another has a disgusting head with something like a birthday cake perched atop; a mutant wearing a single Victorian-era puffy sleeve holds a fetus emerging from his stomach. All are brilliantly disgusting.

- Del Toro discusses how many freak designs had to be dropped because of time and budget limitations, including a ten-three-headed bulldog licking itself. Mention is made of the dog's "red part," and that he'll post the design online soon.

- Seth MacFarlane is doing the voice of Johann? Apparently so. I guess that's just the most efficient way to ensure Family Guy can easily reference the film.

- Doug Jones, who played Silver Surfer in the last Fantastic Four movie, says he knows no more than the online rumors about a Surfer solo picture. He gesticulates just as much as he did in Pan's Labyrinth.

- Del Toro reveals that he's working on a picture called Saturn and the End of Days about a boy watching the apocalypse happen as he runs errands.

- Selma Blair's glazed expression screams "why the hell did I come here?"

More later!

Apr 3 2008 'Hellboy II' Trailer: Like Biting Into a Filet-o-Freak

I don't know how much I've mentioned it here, but like Karl Pilkington and Larry David, I'm an unabashed lover of freaks. Horrible deformities, disgusting aliens, general mutations, whatever--so long as it's non-normal to the degree of slight repulsion, I want to see it. But, man, this new Hellboy II trailer...

See this awful gentleman above with a building for a head? He's like the median freak, and he already has no business existing. Wait until you see these terrible things. It's like Guillermo del Toro does the Star Wars cantina.

Fellow Freak Fans, you really need to watch this. Non-Freak Fans, there also seemed to be a story going on as a background to the mutant menagerie, so maybe you'll find some meager joy in that. Thanks for the tip, Joe.

Continue Reading " 'Hellboy II' Trailer: Like Biting Into a Filet-o-Freak "

Apr 3 2008 New Hellboy vs. Aging Rocker Shots

In anticipation of the new(!) trailer tomorrow, here are a slew of new shots from Hellboy II: The Golden Army. Selma Blair looking hot despite wearing the scalp of Rosie O'Donnell? Hellboy fighting Edgar Winter? A leaner version of that rock guy from Neverending Story? Possibly a third, albino Olsen girl? They're all there!

New 'Hellboy II' Photos [Yahoo!]

Jan 28 2008 Del Toro in Talks To Direct 'The Hobbit'

I'm not the biggest fan of fantasy epics and, therefore, the massive orc-driven spectacle that was The Lord of the Rings Trilogy. But at the very least, I can respect that they'll well made films worthy of the attention and special editions of Risk they're given, and I've shared the hope that New Line would choose a successor worthy of Peter Jackson to make The Hobbit. Sam Raimi had been the favorite for some time, but now, according to The Hollywood Reporter, it seems Guillermo del Toro is the frontrunner.

It's all still being negotiated, so don't get your Hobbit holes too wet yet, but del Toro at the helm could mean faithful prequels that you don't have to attempt to overlook when examining the series (see Star Wars prequels, obviously). Plus, there's never been a better chance for The Hobbit to have nightmarish creatures with misplaced eyes, and that's something even we fantasy cynics can get behind.

Del Toro doubles up for 'Hobbit' [Hollywood Reporter]

Dec 21 2007 'Hellboy II: The Golden Army' Trailer Contains No Disappointment, One Vagina-Mouth Thing

Guillermo del Toro has done many great things as a director, but perhaps none will have the continued resonance of the discovery he made in Pan's Labyrinth: that it's really f***ing freaky when a creature has eyes on its limbs rather than its head, where you'd expect them. After exploiting that little revelation (above), from the looks of this trailer, it appears he's found many more ways to make nightmare-inducing creatures in Hellboy II: The Golden Army. (The vagina-mouth thing at the 1:55 mark comes to mind.)

Despite some semi-cheesy computer effects and a villain that looks like a combination of Legolas and Rocky Horror's Riff Raff, the unquestionable brilliance of del Toro and Hellboy creator Mike Mignola gives me genuine hope for this sequel. So give it a look.

Continue Reading " 'Hellboy II: The Golden Army' Trailer Contains No Disappointment, One Vagina-Mouth Thing "

Dec 12 2007 Hellboy Has a Really Huge Gun

For Hellboy II: The Golden Army, it looks like our hero is stepping up his arsenal. Namely, with what appears to be a Nerf Ballzooka. Let's just hope the forces of evil don't have any of those foam arrows that whistle when you shoot them.

That's a Helluva Big Gun! [Shock Till You Drop]

Nov 29 2007 'The Orphanage' Trailer Encourages Raggedy Ann Fear

Just when I thought the "person haunted by creepy dead people no one else sees" genre was completely exhausted, along comes The Orphanage with the endorsement of Guillermo del Toro and featuring a horrifying rag doll child that makes those Grudge kids look like pale assholes.

Watch the trailer, but be wary that the lack of dialogue (besides name screaming) is because they're hiding the foreignness.

The Orphanage Trailer [Yahoo!]

Nov 8 2007 Some Other Crap That Happened...

- Michelle Pfeiffer will join Ashton Kutcher in Personal Effects, based on the Ricky Moody story "Mansion on the Hill." Keep an eye on him, Demi; if there's one thing Kutch loves, it's lame, televised pranks. But if there's another thing, it's old but still pretty hot ladies. [ComingSoon]

- Roman Polanski has abandoned his plans for Pompeii, opting instead for the political thriller The Ghost, about a ghostwriter hired to complete the memoirs of a former British prime minister. Unless he finds a girl to statutory rape instead! [Variety]

- "Screen scream queens" (Hollywood Reporter's words, not mine) Shawnee Smith, Erica Leerhsen and AnnaLynne McCord will star in Slaughter, playing a trio of actresses inadvertently cast in a Japanese snuff film. For those uninitiated, a Japanese snuff film is when men inconspicuously grope a woman on a subway to death. [Hollywood Reporter]

- Guillermo del Toro will write, direct and produce Champions, based on a British TV series in which a team of secret government agents are rescued from a plane crash by an advanced, hidden civilization and granted superhuman powers. The project hopes to fuse several barely feasible ideas into one insanely unbelievable film. [Variety]

Nov 5 2007 AM Poster Post: 'The Orphanage' is Pure Parentless Terror

I'll be the first to admit the little freaks in Children of the Corn scared the hell out of me as a kid, and those ghostly kids in the Japanese Grudge at least made me jump, but seriously, ghost orphans? Isn't this a step down?

I was already stretching to be scared of kids--even ghost children can be shaken to death, I think--but orphans? The only orphans I've ever known are either frail (Tiny Tim) or pleasantly musical (Annie), and both would be easy to throttle into submission.

I've heard this is good... but, come on, orphans? I can't decide what the next step should be: ghost kids in wheelchairs or ghost abortions?

'The Orphanage' Poster!

Oct 18 2007 'Hellboy 2' Site Serves a Purpose

Instead of a "coming in 2009" message or a carefully crafted pumpkin, director Guillermo del Toro has provided us with a Hellboy 2 site that appears to actually serve a purpose. Hellboymovie.com has just been updated to provide a blog, in-character video welcome (which was stupid and over-gesticulated), and more importantly, an amazing gallery of design sketches, some by creator Mike Mignola. This may be your only chance to see a cephalopod fishmonger all day. Make sure it happens.

Hellboymovie.com [Official Site]

Oct 3 2007 Some Other Crap That Happened...

- Rumor is spreading that McG, director of the Charlie's Angels franchise, is attached to direct Terminator 4. Just as soon as he can find a way to stretch cute boy underwear over liquid metal. [CHUD]

- IMDB added a new character profiles to the database, allowing users to see who has played a particular character and in what films or shows the character has appeared. This will aid me in my quest to see every movie featuring the character of "topless slut." [IMDB]

- Gullermo del Toro may finally get to shoot his passion project, At the Mountains of Madness, adapted from the Lovecraft novel. This drastically decreases my hopes of seeing a reality series about that Pan's Labyrinth guy with the eyes in his hands. [Latino Review]

- Natalie Portman will star in Brothers alongside Jake Gyllenhaal and Tobey Maguire, who play some sort of blood relatives. [Variety]

- Over 2,000 production stills, production budget, breakdowns, and other top-secret materials were stolen from the set of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. TMZ will have the Jones Sex Tape posted within the hour. [IESB]

Aug 1 2007 Hellboy 2 Comic-Con Limited-Edition Movie Poster

MTV got their hands on the limited-edition Hellboy 2 poster from Comic-Con, illustrated by Hellboy creator Mike Mignola. Guillermo del Toro’s Hellboy 2: The Golden Army comes out Summer 2008, and from what I can tell will pit Hellboy against a giant crane game. "You will be mine, stuffed animal doggie!"