Nov 10 2009 Amusing Father Comments Becoming a Show

Ut oh, someone told CBS executives about Twitter, and now they want to get involved. Don't worry; they aren't starting accounts or anything. They're just purchasing the rights to the notion of a dad saying humorous things and developing the funny, popular account shitmydadsays into a sitcom:

CBS has picked up a comedy project based on the Twitter account, which has enlisted more than 700,000 followers since launching in August and has made its creator, Justin Halpern, an Internet star.

"Will & Grace" creators David Kohan and Max Mutchnick are on board to executive produce and supervise the writing for the multicamera family comedy, which Halpern will co-pen with Patrick Schumacker. Halpern and Schumacker will also co-exec produce the Warner Bros. TV-produced project, which has received a script commitment.

The comedy's title will change if it gets on the air.

Wow, that sounds like it will probably be terrible. But I suppose it makes sense. Television can't survive more than a couple years without seeing Jerry Stiller as a screaming father.

Aug 5 2009 'Gunsmoke' Movie Coming: Did the Folly of 'Wild Wild West' Teach Us Nothing?

In news that grandpa would really enjoy were his brain not so muddled by dementia, CBS Films is developing a feature length adaptation of the long-running television series Gunsmoke:

The action-adventure will re-imagine Marshal Matt Dillon, the hero of the classic Western, for modern audiences. The story will be set in the same American West as the original but will feature a contemporary look and modern action twists.

I don't know exactly what they mean by all that, but seeing that the film is being written by Gregory Poirier, one of the writers of National Treasure: Book of Secrets, I'll just assume that "contemporary look" refers to the intense look that will be on Nicolas Cage's face as he performs "modern action twists," which probably means shooting dudes in slow motion while giving intense looks.

CBS Films will light up 'Gunsmoke' [Risky Business]

Jul 20 2009 Walter Cronkite Dies at 92

Walter Crokite, the only person I'll ever trust to tell me anything, died in his Manhattan home Friday after succumbing to cerebral vascular disease. He was 92. From his longtime employer, CBS News:

Cronkite was the face of the "CBS Evening News" from 1962 to 1981, when stories ranged from the assassinations of President John F. Kennedy and the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. to racial and anti-war riots, Watergate and the Iranian hostage crisis.

It was Cronkite who read the bulletins coming from Dallas when Kennedy was shot Nov. 22, 1963, interrupting a live CBS-TV broadcast of the soap opera "As the World Turns."

Cronkite was the broadcaster to whom the title "anchorman" was first applied, and he came so identified in that role that eventually his own name became the term for the job in other languages. (Swedish anchors are known as Kronkiters; In Holland, they are Cronkiters.)

And that's, unfortunately, the way it is.

Aug 12 2008 'Hawaii Five-O' 2.0? That's Seriously How They're Describing It

Here's something else we don't need: an updated version of Hawaii Five-O. The bad news starts with the executive producer describing it as "Hawaii Five-O 2.0" (so cool!) and it only goes downhill from there. From the Hollywood Reporter (particularly stupid parts marked in bold):

CBS is saying aloha to a new installment of the "Hawaii Five-O" franchise from "Criminal Minds" exec producer/showrunner Ed Bernero. Bernero is writing the project, which he describes as "'Hawaii Five-O' 2.0."

Like the original series, it is a procedural chronicling the workings of the fictional Hawaiian state police department. In the original, the unit was headed by Steve McGarrett, played by Jack Lord. In the new series, McGarrett's son Chris will be the top cop.

The famous opening music will be back but may also get a face-lift, much in the vein of the theme from the 1966-73 series "Mission: Impossible," which was rearranged for the 1990s movie franchise.

As for the staple "Book 'em, Danno" closing line, there will be a version of it in the new installment, Bernero said.

Boy, I can't wait to hear the new "Book 'em, Danno." I hope they really run with this whole "2.0" theme relate it all back to the Web 2.0 thing. Maybe go with "Un-friend him, Danno"? "Digg him down, Danno"? "Book 'em, Danno, then tweet the booking so that all my online friends can know about it right away, because, god, Twitter is so hot right now"? CBS is so in-touch.

But if you're worried that this update isn't being handled by the right person, don't be. This guy loves Hawaii Five-O as much as I love "vibrate":

Bernero is such a big "Hawaii Five-O" fan that he has the iconic theme song from the show as his ringtone.

Wow. Let's just hope that when this new, awesomized theme song comes out, Bernero updates his phone with the modern version. For anthropological reasons, I mean, since after a couple months, that will probably be the only remaining evidence the show ever existed.

Jan 11 2008 'Price is Right' Coming to DVD. What?

The perfect gift for your terminally ill friend or family member. Nothing says "You're so permanently sick that you need an equally permanent way to watch a show people only watch when home sick" like a collection of 26 Price is Right episodes. And what better way to painfully exit the world than guessing the price of flatware and an RV?

While the show has always served its purpose of providing modest company that breaks up the life insurance ads between 11 and noon, I can't imagine anyone actually going out of their way to watch such predicable, anodyne entertainment. I can say in all honesty that I've never once thought, "God, I could really go for that episode of The Price is Right from January 13, 1987 right now. Just one of those moods." Have you?

The Price is Right - Here It Comes [TV Shows on DVD]