Apr 9 2009 'Extract' is the 'Office Space' for Flower Extract Plant Owners
Office Space's Mike Judge has a new comedy coming out, and unlikely his largely-overlooked last film, Idiocracy, this one's getting a theatrical release! The Juno duo of Jason Bateman and J.K. Simmons have re-teamed, and they're now joined by a scraggly-haired Ben Affleck, SNL's Kristen Wiig, and Mila Kunis as "babe Jason Bateman's sexually frustrated protagonist really wants to sleep with." With a team like that, how could it not be pretty good? Have a teaser trailer:
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Dec 24 2008 'State of Play' Sure is a Political Thriller!
Just in time for your Yuletide celebrations, here's the trailer for State of Play. Can you and your guests catch all the political thrills? You might have to watch more than once to get them all. There are thirty-two.
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Nov 25 2008 'He's Just Not That Into You' or This Lazy Poster
Movie poster designers, there's been a misunderstanding. When myself and other internet people complain about the overuse of Photoshop, we generally mean that the stars are being airbrushed into a featureless oblivion, or that it's very apparent that no one is actually in the same room for the photo, or that Ben Stiller's head has quite obviously been thrown on a different body, and we're suggesting that maybe Photoshop shouldn't be used quite so heavily and lazily. We never meant to not use Photoshop at all, instead choosing to just do a Google image search for each star, grabbing the first image you find of them smiling, and dragging the variously-sized images into a rectangle. That makes it looks like a romantic comedy Atari game where each pixel is a random actor.
Anyone else who watched NBC's Ed notice this reunion of Warren Cheswick and Diane Snyder? Anyone else watch Ed at all?
Not Into You Poster [Jo Blo]
Aug 21 2008 B. Affleck Joins Bateman in the 'Extract' Movie
That guy from Armageddon is going to be in Mike Judge's latest film, Extract. From the cyber version of the Variety periodical:
[Ben Affleck] is in negotiations to play the best buddy of Jason Batemen's character, a flower extract factory owner dealing with workplace problems and a streak of bad luck, including his wife's affair with a gigolo.Clifton Collins Jr. is also joining the cast as a factory worker who loses a body part in a freak accident and is now due for a huge settlement. Mila Kunis and Kristen Wiig have already boarded the project, which begins lensing Monday in Los Angeles.
What's a flower extract factory, you ask? Let me explain. It's essentially a sort of workshop where the essence of a flower is, in a sense, "plunged" out. I'm trying to think of some way to help you visualize this. Oh, I've got it:
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May 28 2008 'He's Just Not That Into You' Trailer Informs Unlovable Women of Their Status
Women: they can never tell if we like them, hate them, or just want to see them be naked in a pool. So Greg Behrendt (consultant on Sex and the City, there to "keep it real," and one of the few comedians known who looks like more of an asshole than Dane Cook) and Liz Tuccillo (one of the sad ladies writing Sex and the City dialogue) co-authored He's Just Not That Into You, a self-help book meant to help women confused as to why men are avoiding them after initial contact. (Spoiler: it turns out it's a lack of interest.) Now the book has been turned into a movie--or, more specifically, turned into like five star-studded romantic comedies fused into one, creating the powerful beast known as the Voltrom-com. Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Connelly, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, and Mac Commercial Guy form the appendages of this particular Voltrom-com, and there's a trailer for the film below the cut. It looks something like Love Actually if you sucked out all of the Christmas elements and saccharine charm that made it tolerable.
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Jul 18 2007 Gone Baby Gone Poster
It seems strange to me that they would market Ben Affleck's directorial debut with the large image of his fairly unknown brother, never even mentioning Ben or his Academy Award. Maybe they're trying to avoid reminding us that he's nearly a rapist.
Trailer here.
Jul 12 2007 Ben Affleck Directs, Kevin Smith Swoons
New technology actually allows us to take pictures from inside Kevin Smith's ass
Ben Affleck has spent so much of his career doing shitty movies and getting engaged to annoying Puerto Rican chicks that many people forget that he got his big break as a writer of a movie that won an academy award. And winning an academy award for a movie without retards or nazis is tough (though I guess Will Hunting was supposed to be kind of a savant).
Anyway, the trailer for his directorial debut, Gone Baby, Gone hit the web a few days ago. It stars Ed Harris, Morgan Freeman and overshadowed brothers Casey Affleck and Robert Wahlberg (and I'll eat a dog turd if this motherf***er didn't go by "Bobby" his entire life). The flick's an adaptation of a Dennis Lehane (Mystic River) novel, and Affleck wouldn't be Affleck if it didn't involve some wicked quee-uhs and lose-uhs from Beantown.
Predictably, Kevin Smith loves it. "It’s one of those movies where you watch and you’re like [groan] First time out? He made a better movie than I’ve ever made. That jerk! And he’s easier to look at, richer, I hate him so much! And not many people know this, but he has the anus of an 8-year-old Korean boy."
Okay, maybe I made that last part up. And sadly, I could only find one clip of Affleck on SNL, but it forever redeemed my opinion of him. "So I'm feedin' mah ferret, in the nute, as ah do..."
