Oct 20 2009 'Rock of Ages' Becoming a Movie; Jack Black Just Assumed To Be Involved

Rock of Ages, the Tony Awards-nominated Broadway musical known for combining live theater with frat boy karaoke--and, locally, for having this really, really obnoxious guy in the commercials (above)--is getting the ol' movie treatment. Variety reports Adam Shankman (Hairspray) will direct, working from a script from Ages creator Chris D’Arienzo.

With fellow musical adaptation Mamma Mia! having raked in over $609 million worldwide, New Line Cinema expects similarly impressive numbers for this film--assuming that, between now and the release, no one realizes you can listen to the same songs, sung by the actual artists and without all the annoying story elements, by turning on a radio.

Jul 19 2007 Tom Cruise is a Nazi, Homosexual

"Thetaaaaaaaaaan!!"

Okay, so mainly this is all just an excuse to repost this totally sweet picture of Tom Cruise and Col. Klink, but still. The first stills from Valkyrie have hit the web. You can tell Tom Cruise has really mastered the nazi art of leaning back on your heels and looking constipated.

In case you haven’t been reading (don’t act like you’ve got better things to do), Valkyrie is a song Wagner wrote about gay unicorns or some shit, and Valkyrie is the story of the German general who tried to assassinate Hitler, and marks the first re-teaming of director Bryan Singer and writer Chris McQuarrie since The Usual Suspects.

I’m not the biggest Cruise fan, but I’d sit through a two-hour Singer/McQuarrie movie about my own bowel movements. Then again, I’d probably sit through an Adam Shankman movie about my own bowel movements. What can I say, I’m fascinated by my own stool. Sue me.