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Guy Ritchie Doing 'Treasure Island' Adaptation

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Just as Guy Ritchie turned the works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle into a stylish Robert Downey Jr. action movie, so too shall he shape the words of Robert Louis Stevenson into... I don't know, probably another stylish Robert Downey Jr. action movie, but with Downey riding the line of infringing on Jack Sparrow copyrights?

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Long John Silver Getting "Hipper," More Pedophilic

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Treasure Island is going to be so cool and sort of creepy, everyone!

According to Variety, Ecosse Films is developing a new adaptation of the Robert Louis Stevenson classic Treasure Island, and this time the pirate Long John Silver "will be hipper" and the film will be "playing up the relationship between Long John Silver and narrator Jim Hawkins." Because current incarnations always leave viewers wanting more "hipness" and for the relationship between boy and pirate to be weirder. Sounds perfect. If there's a movie we needed, it's a hip, swashbuckling Law & Order: SVU.