After doing historical drama for Lincoln and "unsmiling military guy" for pretty much everything else ever, Tommy Lee Jones marries the two to play General Douglas MacArthur in Emperor. In the film, he's sent to Japan to decide whether Emperor Hirohito should be prosecuted for war crimes, or if we should just call that even after the whole blowing up entire Japanese cities thing. With him on the case: military subordinate Matthew Fox, there to lob accusations, ask the tough questions, and report back the answers--all in the exact same, unwaveringly-flat tone of someone reading directions. He is also there to fall in love. MISSIONS ACCOMPLISHED:
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In the wake of last night's presidential debates, here's a new Lincoln trailer to remind everyone that being the U.S. President is a super rough, demoralizing job, so give the guy a break for standing out there looking fed up with it when he'd rather be out celebrating his marriage with some Red Lobster. Beginning with some varyingly-relevant shots of other famous historical people and scenes, this latest preview focuses mostly on Lincoln trying to end both slavery and the war but coming up against all kinds of belligerence from David Straithairn, Jackie Earle Haley, Gale from Breaking Bad, Tommy Lee Jones, and Tommy Lee Jones's ridiculous wig. And if that's not enough, he's got Mary Todd on his back, all, "GOD HELP US for trapping you in a marriage with an older Sally Field! I can't stay Gidget forever!" And it's like, "Christ, I'm just stressed at work! Do YOU want to trying being Lincoln?"
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Our stateliest awards bait is almost here: Steven Spielberg's Lincoln, starring Daniel Day-Lewis as the President, Sally Field as Mary Todd Lincoln, and Tommy Lee Jones as Tommy Lee Jones in Grandma's wig. In this full trailer for the film, first everyone yells at Lincoln, then Lincoln gets sick of it and starts yelling and finger-pointing back, then Tommy Lee Jones shows up and is like, "Hey, it's me. Tommy Lee Jones. Does this hair play?" But paired with a sweeping score, it all feels expectedly epic, harrowing, and triumphant. This thing is going to win so many small man statuettes.
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A FOLLOW-UP TO THE UNFORGETTABLE 1998 ROMANCE BETWEEN SANDRA BULLOCK AND HARRY CONNICK JR.??? God, if only. No, I'm sorry, Hope Springs is not a sequel to Hope Floats. Hope Springs is a lighthearted comedy about Meryl Streep being in a boring, sexless marriage with a husband who won't let up with his over-the-top, curmudgeonly Tommy Lee Jones impression; the lack of post-menopausal coitus leads Streep to push T.L. Jones into couples therapy with Steve Carell, who puts on his non-psychotic-manchild face to play an affable psychiatrist encouraging the senescent couple to have some old-person sex. If you are my mom, you will probably be eagerly queuing this up for after you finally get around to watching Last Chance Harvey. If you are not my mom or a comparable model, you will at most be impressed by how many distant, wistful smiles Meryl Streep is able to scrounge up. She really brings something new to the role of Diane Keaton's Part.
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Looking back at this time last year, production on Men in Black 3 was making news for lengthy delays reportedly caused by substantial script problems. Catch Me If You Can writer Jeff Nathanson was brought in to overhaul the troubled screenplay, and less than a month later it was handed over to veteran David Koepp to do a few more weeks of rewrites and polish the script enough for Will Smith to see his mustache in it. The result? Will Smith now says he is "gettin' too old for this [shit]" before informing Andy Warhol that he "don't have no problem pimp slappin' the shiznit outta [him]."
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Men in Black 3's production was reportedly plagued by long shooting delays, repeated script problems, and the difficulties of parking Will Smith's wacky, novelty-sized trailer, but you won't see any of those issues making it to the screen in the sequel's first trailer. Rather, this two-minute teaser adheres as rigidly to the MiB formula as a hypothetical pilot for the CW's Men in Black: The Series (note: this will probably not remain hypothetical for long). The Letter Men put on their sunglasses! They hold up their silver accessories! Aliens possess increasingly quirky traits! Remember those things? They're back! It's only at the trailer's conclusion that the sequel reveals the added conceit that separates it from its predecessors: now there's also time travel. Because, as the Star Trek films have shown us, even a limitless universe of alien storyline options only carries you through so many films before you've got to start going back in time to save Tommy Lee Jones/Spock/whales/whatever, right?
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If you're excited about Will Smith sequels, and you would also like your eyes to bleed, look no further: here are the first posters for Men in Black 3. As you may see if you dare click for the larger version, hidden near the bottom of the posters' Magic Eye pattern is the address "MenInBlackSuitsAreReal.com." Going there relinks you to this Facebook page aimed at making us believe the Men in Black suits are real, and that Will Smith truly does make them look good.
In terms of viral marketing ploys, I rank this just slightly below selling your film with a family-friendly rap and accompanying dance, but we'll see where this goes.
When the U.S. Government discovers that America's greatest patriotbrain lies within the scrawny, asthmatic body of Steve Rogers, they find in the obvious gym-class-wedgie recipient an ideal candidate for their latest tactic in the fight against the Nazis: creating a fit guy, and giving him a buckler. And so, like rich old men creating their perfect trophy wives, the government scientists pump their young blonde full of chemicals until he is traditionally aesthetically appealing--and strong!--thus creating: Captain America, America's fittest guy with a buckler and the nation's greatest weapon in the fight against evil (until someone thought of making a really big bomb).
So begins Captain America: The First Avenger, Joe Johnston's attempt at bringing the long-running comics character to screens in a respectable enough way to create at least a three-film franchise. The rest of film seems to be mostly S&M guys and explosions:
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- In response to his Cannes banning, von Trier says he's "a little proud of being named a persona non grata," but added some clarifications: "I am absolutely no Mel Gibson ... I am not Hitler." Just what an evil chimera of Gibson and Hitler would say.
- Topher Grace is joining a cast that already includes Robert De Niro, Diane Keaton, Katherine Heigl, and Amanda Seyfried in the romantic-comedy Gently Down the Stream. Reminder: this is still not a Nora Ephron film, believe it or not.
- Tommy Lee Jones will join Meryl Streep to play a middle-aged couple going through counseling (with the help of Steve Carell) in Great Hope Springs. Also not a Nora Ephron film!
- Stephen Fry has joined The Hobbit as the Master of Laketown, while Conan Stevens--7-foot-tall actor, scriptwriter, computer geek, non-competitive bodybuilder and ex-professional wrestling champion--will be an orc.
With Steven Spielberg's long-awaited Abe Lincoln biopic readied for a fall shoot in Virginia, DreamWorks today released a statement revealing who all will be putting on old fashioney suits for this thing, and boy does this thing have a cast on it.
In the part of Pennsylvania Republican and abolitionist Thaddeus Stevens, we've got Tommy Lee Jones providing his stern, Tommy Lee Jones-esque presence. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, meanwhile, joins as Robert Todd Lincoln, Lincoln's eldest and the only son to live beyond his teenage years, which seems incredibly apt for a child star who's somehow made the transition into respected adult thespian seemingly not addicted to anything.
Also joining the cast in unspecified roles: Hal Holbrook, James Spader, John Hawkes, Tim Blake Nelson, Bruce McGill, and Joseph Cross. They'll be joining Sally Field's Mary Todd Lincoln and Daniel Day-Lewis in the title role, altogether making for a hugely impressive cast that's really only missing the undead bloodsuckers that modernity demands of its presidential biopics. What, you think you're above arbitrarily peppering vampires over history, Spielberg?
Giving all of our anemic patriots hope for magical rapid-steroids, Marvel's full Captain America trailer has arrived, laying out as plainly as possible the well-known origin of our most blatantly 'merican superhero and his famous shield. (The shield began conceptually as a meager trashcan lid, it turns out.) Let's watch!
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A real Captain America trailer should be on the way pretty soon here, but in the meantime, here's a patriotic "yuck, get this away from me!" GIF for your homepage--and a teaser for the trailer's premiere on Entertainment Tonight. Hear ET's android announcer shout its praises of the film (before malfunctioning) below the cut.
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Americans are losing their jobs, everyone. For real. Sum of All Fears, Tommy Lee Jones, Chris Cooper, Waterworld, and Coach just told me in this trailer:
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Having given the public 15 years to forget the camp disaster that was Batman Forever (though we're still occasionally treated to waking nightmares of the experience on TBS), Tommy Lee Jones has decided to take another dip in the superhero genre pool and take a role in the upcoming Captain America film. Says ComingSoon:
Rumors place the "Men in Black" star in the part of General Chester Phillips, the military officer who chooses Steve Rogers for the super soldier program and who aided in his training soon after the serum took effect.
Phillips was retconned into continuity in "Tales of Suspense #63" in 1965, just two years after Captain America was brought to Marvel's forefront as the leader of the Avengers. Phillips remained a character in the Marvel universe until 2003 when he (now retired) was killed by assassins from the underwater rival-to-Atlantis continent Lemuria.
Phew! It feels like it's been days since I've seen Tommy Lee Jones as a gruff, hard-nosed mentor.
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