Joining a small, hangdog group of films that includes last year's abysmal Bucky Larson: Born To Be a Star, Eddie Murphy's A Thousand Words today received the rare ignominy of receiving an outright 0% rating on RottenTomatoes. It really is as bad as it looked. And, worse yet, it has forced us to live in a world wherein, against all common sense, Norbit is by some measure the "better" Eddie Murphy movie. This is what we're leaving the children.
Just when you thought there wasn't a high concept premise left to get Eddie Murphy wide-eyed in a suit, back he comes with A Thousand Words, in which HE ONLY HAS 1000 WORDS LEFT TO DISCOVER WHAT MATTERS MOST." The last poster for the sole need-to-see comedy of 2012 was high on photoshop and low on context, but this latest one-sheet offers up a bit more, promising such enticing content as an old woman, a blind man, some kind of sultan, and a single, gentle kiss to the forehead--a visual metaphor for Murphy putting his career to bed, one sleepy family film at a time.
Also, here are some Piranha 3DD posters. They aren't covered in as many boobs as you'd figure.
The latest in a recent, horrifying tradition of Eddie Murphy constantly staring us down, here's the poster for Murphy's latest comedy, A Thousand Words. Please invite his muffled shrieks into your nightmares.
Here's the full Murphy:
- As noted by numerous sources, though Netflix is launching the Qwikster name, they do not have the Qwikster Twitter account. That belongs to Jason Castillo, a frequently "bored as shyt" gentleman whose icon features a pot-smoking Elmo. Whoops.
- To better capitalize on Eddie Murphy's Oscar hosting relevancy, Paramount is pushing the comedian's high-concept comedy A Thousand Words back to March 23, a date at which "broad, high-concept Eddie Murphy comedy" and "Academy Awards" will surely be synonymous.
- Chris Hemsworth's brother Liam has secured a part as a sniper in The Expendables 2. Hemsworth won't show up in the The Hunger Games until next year, but apparently his part as Hannah Montana's boyfriend in The Last Song has secured his status as a Classic Action Hero.
- Finally, sad news: Ziggy creator Tom Wilson Sr. has died at 80, after a long battle with illness. He'll tragically never get to see whatever inevitable CGI Ziggy movie we stick Matthew Broderick's voice in.
- Jay Leno is threatening to remain on television beyond his 2009 Tonight Show resignation by signing a deal with another network, thus preserving our ever-growing national catalog of mildly amusing newspaper misprints. [NY Post]
- ABC has contracted Veronica Mars writer (not Matchbox 20 moron) Rob Thomas to resurrect the short-lived sitcom Cupid. With Entourage and male-pattern baldness in full swing, Jeremy Piven won't be reprising his role, meaning it will make even less sense that I still refer to him as "Cupid." [Variety]
- Eddie Murphy and director Brian Robbins (AKA tough guy from Head of the Class) are planning to team up for A Thousand Words, about a man who only has 1,000 words left to speak before he dies. The two previously teamed up for Norbit, making it apparent Robbins and Murphy are angels of a wrathful god punishing us for our sins. [Variety]
- Vin Diesel as the Terminator? Sure. Why the f*** not. [AICN]
- Rush Hour director Brett Ratner is taking over as director on the Escape from New York remake. Do you hear the words comin' out of my mouth? They're sorrowful. [IESB]
1
2
3
4
5
6
I Watch Stuff is a movie and video blog dedicated to bringing you the best and worst that Hollywood and the Internet have to offer and then, more often than not, making fun of it because it sucks.
