Your box office top five for the second weekend in March, two-thousand and ten:
1. Alice in Wonderland - $62 million, leading the box office for a second week and inspiring Disneyland to reevaluate if the spinning teacup ride needs to be more gothic-inspired.
2. Green Zone - Only taking in $14.5 million, it seems the film was unable to overcome sounding like it's the eco-activities section of a Red Lobster kids' placemat.
3. She's Out of My League - $9.6 million, giving us a fair estimate of how many skinny white nerds forwent working out to instead watch a fantasy about a skinny white nerd expending absolutely no effort to get with a hot babe.
4. Remember Me - $8.3 million, indicating most people still won't "remember him" as anything but "that guy from Twilight."
5. Shutter Island - $8.1 million. Holy shit, I didn't have to say anything about Avatar this week. Good job, other movies.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
I have for you an important lesson that it's not always a good idea to act like opposite George Costanza at a movie theater. An annoyed man in a Lancaster cinema Saturday learned it the hard way.
When the man told a woman to stop talking on her cell phone during a 9 PM showing of Shutter Island (a seemingly reasonable request), she complied. Then she and her two male friends left the theater, presumably purchased or retrieved a nearby meat thermometer and--in an attack that will likely illicit the Leno punchline, "Police were going to take him to the hospital, but he wasn't done yet"--STABBED THE GUY IN THE FUCKING NECK WITH A MEAT THERMOMETER.
The movie industry just can't win. For every gimmicky new invention they come up with to get people into cinemas, there's always going to be a psychotic person attempting to murder someone by plunging a meat thermometer into the throat of someone requesting theater civility, thus scaring anyone from ever going to a movie again. What are the chances this is a really aggressive Netflix ad campaign?
1. Alice in Wonderland - $116.3 million. Biggest weekend for a Tim Burton film; biggest weekend for a March opening; already highest grossing film released this year; and film most likely to be talked about at the "weird kids table" in your middle school.
2. Brooklyn's Finest - $13.5 million. I think it could have done better if it was a double feature, maybe opening with Blade 2 or Passenger 57 as a refresher to remind everyone who Wesley Snipes is.
3. Shutter Island - $13.3 million, making it an overall strong weekend for popular-directors-and-their-male-muse films.
4. Cop Out - $9.1 million. Kevin Smith better lodge himself in a subway turnstile or something to get some attention back to this thing.
5. Avatar - $7.7 million. Expect a boost this weekend as theater-goers flock to see the winner of Best Art Direction.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Your weekend box office numbers:
1. Shutter Island - $22.2 million. It's making enough money that, in a few years, it may be the #1 answer when Family Feud asks for a Scorsese film.
2. Cop Out - $18.6 million, not enough to take first place but enough to surely turn a profit when, next week, Kevin Smith adds new scenes of Tracy Morgan delivering Shutter Island lines in an interrogation room.
3. The Crazies - Only managed to gross $16.5 million, as most audiences just assumed "The Crazies" must be a wacky family of mixed-weight Eddie Murphys.
4. Avatar - $14 million. That's 706. MILLION! ...DOLLARS! ...TOTAL! ...WITHIN THE UNITED STATES!
5. Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief - $9.8 million. When it comes to child gods, audiences still prefer Little Hercules.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Your weekend box office top five, presented this week by whatever banner ads you're avoiding:
1. Shutter Island - $40.2 million, proving Scorsese films fare best when their name hints they could be a reality series.
2. Valentine's Day - With the actual Valentine's Day now passed, this week audiences returned to this romantic comedy to see how much of it came true. $17.2 million.
3. Avatar - $16.1 million, climbing back up from 4th--something Avatar historians will later refer to as "the bounce-back period."
4. Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief - $15.3 million, another middling box office showing, demonstrating America's continued indifference towards lightning theft.
5. The Wolfman - $9.8 million, still leaving it $100 million from earning back its budget. I say just market the DVD as a Wolfman Jack biopic.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
New trailer for Martin Scorsese's latest and Leonardo DiCaprio's most recent somewhat convincing accent! And something about these scenes tells me Leo's investigation into a criminally insane asylum isn't going as planned. In particular, the scene where he's cradling Michelle Williams before she crumbles into a pile of ash. That's just something you can't plan for, even if you are visiting an insane asylum:
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Nothing reels in audiences like the ominous presence of Leonardo DiCaprio's massive, angst-filled head. Time and time again those looming, furrowed brows prove themselves poster gold. (A faint mustache is preferred, but not necessary.)
'Shutter Island' Poster [Yahoo]
Martin Scorsese has got Leonardo DiCaprio doing funny voices again! This time it's for Shutter Island, Scosese's foray into the the crazy-spooky-shit-in-a-mental-hospital fare usually reserved for straight-to-video horror starring lesser Baldwin brothers. Take a look:
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When you need to add a certain bald sophistication do your movie, while at the same time avoiding thoughts of Star Trek: The Next Generation, can you do any better than the honorable Sir Ben Kingsley? The answer is no, which is why Martin Scorsese has added him to the cast of his period thriller, Shutter Island.
The film, adapted by Laeta Kalogridis from Dennis Lehane's 2004 novel, centers on a U.S. marshal (Ruffalo) who along with his new partner (DiCaprio) travels to a Massachusetts island to investigate the disappearance of a patient from a hospital for the criminally insane. During their inquiry, the two encounter a web of deceit, experience a hurricane and become involved in a deadly inmate riot that leaves them trapped on the island.
Kingsley will play Dr. Cawley, the hospital's enigmatic chief physician who must reluctantly play host to the two U.S. marshals.
In announcing the news, Hollywood Reporter had a hard time deciding which part of the title makes for a better pun/more likely fanciful disease. In the title, they went with "Kingsley catches 'Shutter' bug," while the article insists he "caught a case of island fever." Which is it, guys? And why not: "Kingsley 'shutter'-ing after catching 'island' fever"? Or "Shutter Shutter! Island Island! Shutter Ben! Island Kingsley!"
Kingsley catches 'Shutter' bug [Hollywood Reporter]
It's great to see young love. Or at least love between someone with a youngish, teen-stached face and an old man with eyebrows the size of my palm.
So imagine how pleased I was to hear that Martin Scorsese and his muse, Leonardo DiCaprio, are teaming up for another picture, Shutter Island. Set in 1954, DiCaprio will play Teddy Daniels, a US Marshall on the island to investigate the the disappearance of an escaped "murderess" (Variety is particular on the gender of murderers).
This is one of the few times, as much as I'd love to see another Scorsese/DiCaprio drama, I think this could be even better as a reality show. As little as we need more shows about watching people do nothing, throwing some D-list celebrities on an island and having them hunt an escaped murderess--preferably a celebrity herself, or at least fixated on murdering celebrities--could be worth a TiVo.
The title Shutter Island will still be relevant, because there are also paparazzi trying to both photograph and murder the celebrities.
Scorsese, DiCaprio team for 'Island' [Variety]
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