In the face of the intense competition of a Forgetting Sarah Marshall spin-off, a giant dog movie, and something involving Ashton Kutcher wearing sunglasses, moviegoers solemnly shrugged and the majority took that harrowing march into Shrek Forever After, giving it the win-by-default for the third week straight. Proud of yourself, Shrek?
1. Shrek Forever After - $25.3 million. Can you believe it isn't Marmaduke in this spot?
2. Get Him to the Greek - $17.4 million. Again, not Marmaduke. How is that possible?
3. Killers - $16.1 million. Have people suddenly developed a marginal sense of taste? Could the appeal of hearing George Lopez's voice come out of a domesticated animal's mouth have lost its appeal?
4. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time - $13.9 million. What kind of America do we live in that doesn't automatically give Marmaduke enough money for a squeakuel?
5. Sex and the City 2 - $12.7 million. An America with hope. [wavingflag.gif]
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Here are the films your projectionist friend pathetically bragged about getting to watch early this week:
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Director: Mike Newell
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Ben Kingsley
Good if you want to see: Jake Gyllenhaal use his abs to do some multimillion dollar cosplay.
Sex and the City 2
Director: Michael Patrick King
Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristen Davis, Cynthia Nixon
Good if you want to see: the girls goin' to Abu Dhabi! Wooooooooo!!! And me an' my girls are gettin' dressed up, drinkin' some Cosmos, and goin' opening night! Woo! Shopping!
Survival of the Dead (limited)
Director: George Romero
Starring: Alan Van Sprang, Kathleen Munroe, Keneth Welsh
Good if you want to see: Christ, Romero made another "[Blank] of the Dead" movie? Well, what do y'know?
Micmacs (limited)
Director: Jean-Pierre Jeunet
Starring: Dany Boon, Andre Dussollier, Dominique Pinon, Yolande Moreau
Good if you want to see: the director of Amelie and City of Lost Children take a stylized look at some of France's strangest-looking ragtag weirdoes, as usual.
There's a new Sex and the City movie coming out, so here are the stars of that film being consumed by the storm clouds of Iron Man posters, Steven Tyler's mic stand, and undeserved looks of self-satisfaction.
Curiously absent from the poster: their mothers. I mean, if they like the desert so much, why don't they bring their mothers there?
'Sex and the City 2' Poster [Yahoo!]
The writers of Sex and the City 2 have learned well from the kids of Head of the Class going to Russia, Urkel and Laura getting married in the Magic Kingdom, and the Tanners going to Hawaii and ending up singing with the Beach Boys (I'm not imagining that these things happened, am I?): there's no better (lazier) way to kick a little more mileage out of a tired sitcom than sending the cast on an exotic vacation completely out of the blue. So guess what, girlzzzzz! We're going to Abu Dhabi!
Make sure to start building up a groan right now so you can let it out nice and loud when they get to the inevitable "not in Kansas anymore" Wizard of Oz reference.
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The Sex has left the City, ladies! Now it's in the desert, I guess.
With how strained our relationships with Middle Eastern nations are already, I'm just assuming that Carrie & Friends' presence there means this film takes place in the days just prior to World War III:
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I'm pretty sure that, for anyone who has ever referred to themselves as a "fashionista," "shopaholic," or "clothing diva," this is the final image they will see as they die. As the landscape of boutiques and Barney's slowly fades into the blinding light of the afterlife (now with added shiny, circular, dangly things), this figure--a familiar, long-faced silhouette--approaches. A vision in white with matching accessories, she whispers to the dying fashionista a soothing voice-over, comforting them with the words, "Heaven's no Manhattan--but the shoes are fantastic!" And then the diva will sputter out a choked, final laugh--because that joke is just the kind of vintage Carrie they've loved again and again in their repeated viewings of the Sex and the City DVD box set.
Ah, I'm just kidding. Obviously there's no afterlife for anyone who calls themselves a "shopaholic": They have no soul.
Argh! Of course, they'd have to give her new shoe/dress combinations for the sequel. Now I'll have to buy all the new Sex and the City 2 action figures!
(Thanks to Flex at MovieGod.)
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