Did you hear about that Hong Kong billionaire septuagenarian who is offering $65 million to any man who can woo his lesbian daughter away from her partner and into a life of straightness? Well, hoping to get another entry into Netflix's "Raucous LGBT Comedy" section, Sacha Baron Cohen is going to adapt that story of terrible parenting into a feature film.
Following the trail of wig hairs Mike Myers left for him, Sacha Baron Cohen is headed toward the familiar terrain of the Bond spoof.
If you thought the last trailer was lacking in anal fisting, here's one with more anal fisting, and sorry about not the last one not having anal fisting. Blame the MPAA and their hatred of assplay.
With Sacha Baron Cohen's latest hair appliance entering theaters May 16, Paramount has put the opening of The Dictator online as a way to introduce the titular character to those unfamiliar with his work harassing Al Roker and making Ryan Seacrest cry. It's embedded below, but as a warning, the minute-and-a-half of footage does contain a shot of a newborn's mass of fake pubic hair, which I'm not sure is safe for work. Logically, a naked baby shouldn't be a big deal to see at work--quite the opposite, co-workers often give high praise for a tastefully-displayed Anne Geddes calendar--but it somehow seems gross to be looking at if there's a big baby bush involved. You make the call.
To look at the marketing material thus far, you'd be forgiven for thinking The Dictator was entirely about Sacha Baron Cohen doing a misogynistic Triumph the Insult Comic Dog impression from beneath regalia and a fake beard (and occasionally making Ryan Seacrest cry). The movie has been painted as basically Cohen's The Love Guru, another strained, diminished, one-note offering of funny voices and hair appliances--and that dreary comparison isn't helped by Ben Kingsley's willingness to once again sorrowfully fill the Ben Kingsley part.
But no, with this latest trailer for The Dictator, it's starting to seem like maybe this isn't quite Cohen's The Love Guru after all. There's more beneath the hilarious fake beard, you guys. As it turns out, it's more like Cohen's Coming to America by way of The Emperor's New Groove, Mel Brooks' Life Stinks, and terrorism panic?
Though Borat is long out of theaters, and comedian Sacha Baron Cohen has conveniently found a new home nestled in a wacky beard grown somewhere in the Middle East, Borat's home country of Kazakhstan has not found it so easy to remove the film's mankini of cultural stigma.
For a Western world largely unfamiliar with Kazakhstan, Borat defined the country, and its definition was a backwards, primitive civilization boasting the second-cleanest prostitutes in the region (after Turkmenistan). Kazakhstan now has to deal with the burden of "is nice" being their unofficial slogan, to be quoted upon any mention of the country, regardless of context. Kazakhstan could have a horrible tragedy and the news would still inevitably be met by assholes questioning if the death of thousands "is nice." And, as less expected consequence of Borat, Kazakhstan's athletes sometimes have to deal with their actual national anthem being confused with Borat's mock anthem that proudly describes the levels of human waste in a pool.
As you'll see and hear in the below video from a sporting event in Kuwait, the proud Kazakh winner of a shooting competition was forced to respectfully stand, hand on heart, as Sacha Baron Cohen's super-offensive parody version of the Kazakhstan national anthem plays to a stadium surprised to learn of Kazakhstand's apparent dominance in potassium exporting. This is surely the worst Kazakh anthem mishap since two weeks ago.
True to his threats, Sacha Baron Cohen last night showed up at the Oscars in the full regalia, beard, and unplaceable tongue-rolling accent of General Aladeen, the main character of his upcoming The Dictator. The stunt could have ended up being nothing more than a lazy, shticky publicity move, but instead Cohen--at home in-character amongst the unprepared--really sold his appearance with some genuinely funny lines. Also, he dumps Kim Jong-il's ashes on Ryan Seacrest, and you can tell it kind of makes Seacrest want slam the bedroom door and cry into his American Idol comforter. This is Seacrest's Carrie:
In response to being banned from wearing funny beards at the Oscars, Sacha Baron Cohen this morning went in-accent as General Aladeen to record special messages for the audiences of YouTube and NBC's Today. The film isn't even out yet, and already I'm feeling painfully overexposed to Cohen's bearded impression of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, but I have to admit, hearing him label Al Roker as the show's eunuch is pretty funny. I don't know why no one has made that now-obvious distinction before. Plus, couldn't your morning use a rape joke or two?
Well, it sounds like Sacha Baron Cohen's novelty beard won't be getting into the Oscars, but here's what it would look like if it were allowed near awards--specifically, near every major North American sports award conflated into a single massive trophy. If you'd like to see additional sports portraits of Cohen's General Aladeen, head over to Buzzfeed for a couple more. "Is nice!" - Borat.
Following a report yesterday claiming Sacha Baron Cohen was planning to attend the Oscars in the full beard and novelty regalia of his Dictator character, the old white men that run the Academy have responded by making it quite clear that Cohen is not to touch the red carpet in any outfit that could be considered in any way entertaining.
Threatened over the appearance of a rival bewigged comedian nearing the Academy Awards, Sacha Baron Cohen is acting quickly to ensure it will be his wacky accent call and spirit gum pheromones dominating the ceremony.
Having already seen Super Bowl commercials featuring Ferris Bueller and the Soup Nazi, there's no going back. Might as well continue living in our advertising future with this Super Bowl spot for Sacha Baron Cohen's The Dictator. No new footage here, but there is a specially-recorded message from the title character that will surely upset the nation's drunk grandpas, furious that America's much-anticipated television would be disrupted by someone they perceive as a reigning foreigner. It will be their Obama State of the Union rant all over again.
With Kim Jong-il's recent death making news for its possibly-huge ramifications to North Korea, the world, and indeed, the Kim Jong-il Looking at Things blog, Sacha Baron Cohen is using the Supreme Leader's decision to become mortal as an opportunity to promote the similarly-crazy autocrat he plays in The Dictator. Under the nom de plume of The Dictator's title character, General Aladeen, Baron released the following statement regarding the death of a "great leader, good friend, and average double's badminton partner." At last, some laughter amongst the tears.
Alright, maybe that's being harsh. Maybe this isn't Sacha Baron Cohen's equivalent of Mike Myers' abysmal 2008 comedy The Love Guru. But it is Sacha Baron Cohen's movie in which he puts on a beard and wacky accent, enlists the aid of Ben Kingsley, pleasures a hot actress playing herself about three years too late for anyone to care, and quickly retreats to his bunker of pop culture jokes (the Kardashians!). So, yeah, it's at least a little Sacha Baron Cohen's The Love Guru. Still, at least this has AIDS and terrorism jokes?
Despite having made some of the more violent and profane mainstream American films of his time, Martin Scorsese would like to be allowed around your children, everyone. As an offering toward that, he presents to us Hugo, his 3D adaptation of the Caldecott Medal-winning novel The Invention of Hugo Cabret. See how charming it looks! Marvel at this automaton flying at you, and imagine how that would look like something in 3D! Let Marty babysit! Come on, he's earned it.
It's a lesson Home Alone taught us so long ago: chase precocious, parentless children and prepare to face hilarious slapstick injury. Now, prepare yourself for a fantastical refresher course with Hugo, Martin Scorsese's bizarre venture into DiCaprio-less 3-D adventure for all ages. Based on Brian Selzick's Caldecott-winning The Invention of Hugo Cabret, the film stars Asa Butterfield as the titular orphan, Chloë Moretz as Hugo's one friend and--in what I assume is a strange sexual metaphor--the girl in possession of the key to his automaton, Ben Kingsley as her grandfather, Jude Law as Hugo's father, and Sacha Baron Cohen as the mean ol' station inspector who's always chasing those rascal kids, and whose level of bumbling is near Rowan Atkinson levels. Watch out for that five-tiered wedding cake, Sacha!
As evidenced by the many wacky outfits being sighted around New York City, shooting on Sacha Baron Cohen's The Dictator is already well underway, but still casting on continues on the Larry Charles-directed, Saddam Hussein-inspired comedy. Curb Your Enthusiasm scene-stealer JB Smoove is the latest to join the Cohen's cast, continuing his noble work with our most popular improvisation-based Jewish comedians and, according to the Hollywood Reporter, playing "the role of 'Usher' in the film." As for if that means he'll be portraying the mentor of Justin Bieber and singer of the 1998 hit Nice & Slow, it's anyone's guess. Either way, as far as Curb stars-to-movies news goes, this already sounds way more promising than Larry David playing a nun for the Farrelly Brothers' Three Stooges movie. You need to get on Jeff about this, LD.
That American flag tracksuit won't be Sacha Baron Cohen's only zany look for his upcoming The Dictator. As Cohen continues as an artist, he's necessarily adding more and more goofy outfits to his repertoire--like this sunglasses with symmetrical hair-and-beard ensemble. I guess it's better than yet another Waluigi costume, right?
Under the cut: the full photo, highlighting Cohen's military regalia and the full, desperate height/length of his hair/beard.
From Movieweb, here's a first look at Sacha Baron Cohen in The Dictator and photographic assurance that, yes, Cohen's latest comedy will once again provide a suitable costume for your fraternity's Halloween party. You can even still use the hair from Fun World's Eurasian Traveler Kit!
See the complete American flag tracksuit (with matching shoes) under the cut.
As Sacha Baron Cohen and director Larry Charles prepare their latest, The Dictator, the time has come to finally put a female presence in a Cohen-doing-a-voice movie, and it's reportedly down to three likely options. The Hollywood Reporter says Kristen Wiig, Anna Faris, and Community's Gillian Jacobs are frontrunners for the role, a part that will place them opposite either Cohen's goat herder character or his disposed title character. Comedian Jason Mantzoukas, meanwhile, is in talks to play Cohen's Middle Eastern sidekick--like Batman had, but less likely to throw nutcases into such a tizzy. Hopefully.
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I Watch Stuff is a movie and video blog dedicated to bringing you the best and worst that Hollywood and the Internet have to offer and then, more often than not, making fun of it because it sucks.
