A prominent role for Sheri Moon Zombie, surrounded by all the imagery your Catholic grandmother conjures when you talk about Obama? Welp, it must be a new thing from Rob Zombie. Arriving in theaters April 19, the film sees Mrs. Zombie as seemingly a member of Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem and resident of an apartment building plagued by rats, unresponsive neighbors, and an evasive landlady. Also, to push this into the realm of "something Rob Zombie would make," inside one of the apartments resides a bed of satanic ritual and dark, clichéed music video decor. This will be the Tenants' Rights Association's spookiest case yet! Here's the trailer:
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Rob Zombie's latest, The Lords of Salem, supposedly involves Sheri Moon Zombie (naturally) playing a Salem DJ who spins "a sinister heavy metal tune" that awakens a 17th century coven of witches--because music is a powerful tool, so support the arts in schools. Here's the trailer, which has a surprising lack of sinister heavy metal but does have most of the satanic chanting, naked animal-headed people, ugly popes, and giant, deformed babies you demand of a Zombie production.
Hopefully it isn't a spoiler that Sheri Moon Zombie turns into Dreadlock Beetlejuice:
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Rob Zombie is still making horror movies, and his next will be The Lords of Salem, the story of a 300-year-old coven returning Massachusetts to reclaim Salem and put Sheri Moon Zombie in another film. For those interested in such a thing, the director just posted the first image from the film, above, and promises, "the scene that involves this face is very painful." I'm sure it will be our darkest vision of Shy Guys yet, Rob.
Rob Zombie has decided to film another remake of The Blob, eliminating the one element I would consider definitive of The Blob:
`My intention is not to have a big red blobby thing, that’s the first thing I want to change,' Zombie said. `That gigantic Jello-looking thing might have been scary to audiences in the 1950s, but people would laugh now. I have a totally different take, one that’s pretty dark.'
Yeah, fuck that big red blobby thing, also known as "The Blob." Not a necessary component. Should probably be reinterpreted as maybe a large, ruthless hilljack who calls himself "The Blob." That's only logical.
Zombie Remakes `The Blob' [Variety]
Standing, staring, meandering, stabbing, suddenly being behind someone who's looking in a mirror: Michael Myers is back, and he's doing all of that in this new teaser for H2! Get ready to dig your fingers into the shoulders of the person next to you!*
*Entertainment Tonight stooge's opinion, not a human sentiment.
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On the Rob Zombie MySpace Halloween 2 Blog, R.Z. has posted this early design of the new Michael Myers mask. Man, this mug is so orange and beat up, it looks like the face of... some celebrity reference. Posh Spice? George Hamilton? Whoever is currently known for being overly-tanned and craggy.
Overnight, official news came that Rob Zombie would be directing a sequel to Halloween--which has been given the SUV-like name of H2---and already there's a teaser poster. I place it somewhere near the crossroads of gritty terror, still from an early music video, and "sorry, this student didn't supply a senior picture so we had to blow up a crummy photo of him from another section of the yearbook."
Hi-Res Teaser Poster for Rob Zombie's H2 [Shock Till You Drop]
(Even more thanks to Brad of Comictube.)
OK, Rob Zombie, we get it. Tyrannosaurus Rex will completely follow the aesthetic of a troubled 15-year-old's margin doodles from his high school notebooks. You can cancel the poster where a barbarian cuts through the Megadeth logo. And the one where it sort of looks like someone threw ninja stars into the lined paper. And the one where a savage woman's boobs are scribbled out, because that's where you messed up. We get it.
Tyrannosaurus Rex Art Show Continues [Shock Till You Drop]
OK, it's not a 3D Tyrannosaurus Rex. But when Brad sent over the link, I thought that's what the email said, and I was pathetically excited. "Someone improved the design of a Tyrannosaurus!? What could they have done? Dear god, more mouths!? In 3D!?" As it turns out, it's just the 3rd piece of concept art from Rob Zombie's Tyrannosaurus Rex movie, which is not nearly as exciting.
This is the second piece of concept art to imply there will be giant, fire-based dinosaurs in the film's background. This needs to actually happen. Here's a way to implement it:
"We've got you now, Rex."
"I don't think so--I brought back up."
"You wha--oh shit! Tyrannosaurus Rexes made of pure flame are coming! From the background!"
Third Piece of art from Rob Zombie's Tyrannosaurus Rex [Shock Till You Drop]
Being a consummate artist and showman, Rob Zombie has remained tight-lipped on the plot of his next film, Tyrannosaurus Rex, and has denied the rumor it will be based on his comic, The Nail. In all likelihood, he's doing us a favor: if he were to tell us his raw, unrefined genius without first filtering it through the imperfections of film, it would probably blow our minds and/or sound like his music. So instead, he's started posting concept art to acclimate us to whatever Tyrannosaurus Rex may be.
The last peek he gave us came was this poster, which implied the movie would be about some badass '70s gang shooting people from a psychedelic bus while the shape of a dinosaur exploded behind them, which seems like a sound idea. Now there's this seemingly unrelated concept art, and I don't know what to think. In addition to being about dinosaur explosions, it's also like if Rob Zombie made a George Bellows painting more "X-treme"? I have no idea.
New Concept Art From Rob Zombie’s Tyrannosaurus Rex [/Film]
I guess they're going for a "if a trucker designed a Choose-Your-Own Adventure cover" look.
First Look at Rob Zombie's Tyrannosaurus Rex [Shock Till You Drop]
There was a time when Rob Zombie was content in making intolerable noise metal that served as a standardized test for identifying the troubled youths of middle school. They were happier times, when his pseudo-Satanic messages were streamed through headphones and black t-shirts, making them easy enough to ignore. Now, with Zombie intent on proving himself a serious director, it's becoming harder and harder to overlook his efforts at bringing the same mentality to screens, particularly with latest news that he's in talks to direct a Conan movie.
As much of my brain as his lazy Halloween remake killed, certain regions still function, and I couldn't help but ponder what Rob Zombie's Conan the Barbarian might be like. Then, magically, my vision somehow manifested itself on YouTube. I think it will be just like that, except with Tyler Bane as Conan, and probably with some white trash rape.
Rob Zombie to Conquer an Empire [Bloody Disgusting]
- Rob Zombie has announced plan to remake the horror cult classic C.H.U.D. As you surely remember, this won't be Zombie's first attempt at such a feat: he brought the horror of Halloween back to screens last year, and the horror of white guy dreadlocks back to scalps some time ago. [Dread Central]
- Michelle Pfeiffer will join Ashton Kutcher in Personal Effects, based on the Ricky Moody story "Mansion on the Hill." Keep an eye on him, Demi; if there's one thing Kutch loves, it's lame, televised pranks. But if there's another thing, it's old but still pretty hot ladies. [ComingSoon]
- Roman Polanski has abandoned his plans for Pompeii, opting instead for the political thriller The Ghost, about a ghostwriter hired to complete the memoirs of a former British prime minister. Unless he finds a girl to statutory rape instead! [Variety]
- "Screen scream queens" (Hollywood Reporter's words, not mine) Shawnee Smith, Erica Leerhsen and AnnaLynne McCord will star in Slaughter, playing a trio of actresses inadvertently cast in a Japanese snuff film. For those uninitiated, a Japanese snuff film is when men inconspicuously grope a woman on a subway to death. [Hollywood Reporter]
- Guillermo del Toro will write, direct and produce Champions, based on a British TV series in which a team of secret government agents are rescued from a plane crash by an advanced, hidden civilization and granted superhuman powers. The project hopes to fuse several barely feasible ideas into one insanely unbelievable film. [Variety]
I won't say this movie is going to be in any way good, but this latest trailer to Rob Zombie's Halloween remake does look slightly better than I thought it would, even with what appears to be that little Hanson drummer as the young Michael Myers. But watching it, I couldn't help but notice the above shot seemed a bit out of place. Is this some strange tribute to that scene in Beetlejuice or does Rob Zombie think bespectacled sheet-ghosts are legitimately scary? Either way, I wish there were more of them with different accessories.
UPDATE: I notice some of you pointing out that this scene makes perfect sense. I could pretend I was making some joke within a joke, but I'll just tell you flat out that I only saw Halloween once like a decade ago, and I completely forgot about this scene being in the original. So for the sake of argument, let's compromise and say the above scene may make sense, depending on your memory.
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