A friend sent me this over an hour ago and I've only now been able to stop playing with it long enough to post. At TrekYourself, you can upload any head-on photo and make it into a creepy, monotone, CGI Star Trek character! As you probably can tell from my handiwork above (a character I've cleverly dubbed "Spoq"), it's fucking great. Plus, nearly as great, the site has this ridiculous Cheez-Its-in-Space theme; the intro features a bevy of the snack crackers forming the Star Trek logo. Cheez-Its and warp-speed space travel have been irrevocably linked, and we're all better for it.
Hear Spoq's utterly realistic speaking voice:
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Oh, thank heaven for 7-11--mostly for making my new favorite X-Men Origins: Wolverine tie-in yet. Look how X-treme this highly-sweetened cappuccino is! It's probably the most X-treme "French vanilla energy boost" on the market. Way more X-treme than Candy Cane Cocoa, that's for sure. You hand one of these to Wolverine and he can't even wait for it to cool. (Luckily, his mutant healing factor quickly soothes his burnt tongue.)
Thanks to Dekker for taking the photo.
As a foreboding promotion for Meet Dave, Fox is giving mortals the chance to get inside the head of Eddie Murphy. And no, as you may have inferred from the above image, this does not mean learning the motivations behind how he decides which roles will invoke a fat suit and which only audience frustration. I'm talking about the opportunity to literally climb inside a detailed replica of his smiling head. Yes, right now, as you read this, a trailer is pulling the Effigy Murphy cross-country, giving innocent passersby the chance to treat his bust like a Double Dare event, stopping at designated points to allow the willing to climb inside the ear canal and ponder why they've done so.
I first heard about this monstrosity about a week ago (in this informative write-up of the situation) and meant to warn others then, but in suppressing my anger I somehow pushed the entire thing from my memory and forgot. Thankfully, Galice wrote in today to remind me. (Thanks, Galice!)
Looking at the head's progress map, it appears it will be in Times Square Fourth of July weekend, a celebration of our forefathers granting us the freedom to bear promotional false idols, and I'm thinking I'll probably have to go. When else will I get the chance to climb inside a giant mockup of Eddie Murphy's head? Especially considering its existence likely indicates the end of civilized society. Expect photos.
New at Hellboymove.com: the Hellboy II: The Golden Army Holiday eCard. What better way to tell your family "I'm a huge nerd, and thought you'd enjoy the image of a muscular, sultry demon spawn threatening you instead of a phone call"?
Hellboy II Holiday eCard [official site]
If you've been following any of my coverage of the unsolicited Alvin and the Chipmunks update, you know that their entire campaign is based on building strong feelings of confusion and rage in the audience. Sticking with this trend, the film has a new website that begs the weary web-browser to "Get Munked!"
Something like The Simpsons Movie avatar maker, if the newly-coined verb "to munk" didn't fill you with enough blind anger then the few perplexing options offered in personalizing your chipmunk surely will. I don't know who hoped for the ability to dress a chipmunk like a Rastafarian, but it was a wish that should not have been granted.
Munk Yourself! [Official Site]
For his hit, intentionally-cryptic series, Lost, JJ Abrams created the fictional Hanso corporation and spread clues about its origins on TV and the internet. Well, apparently fake companies are something he now thinks play a part in every good marketing strategy, and there are corporate websites for his new 1-18-08 monster movie. Now you can spend hours scrounging for vague clues at Tagruato Corp. and its subsidiaries, Yoshida Medical Research, Bold Futura, Slusho!, and ParaFun!.
Great work, JJ. Nothing gets me interested in a popcorn monster flick like exhaustive research of a non-existing company. Because the company has no basis in reality, I can rest assured that whatever information I'm able to draw from these websites will serve me absolutely no purpose once the film fades in popularity. And even until then, at best it will make me seem like a freakish fanboy with far too much free time. Perhaps his larger strategy is the alienation of his fans from the rest of humanity, forcing them to find solace in collecting memorabilia for Lost and whatever he's calling this monster movie.
Cloverfield Has Its Hanso [1-18-08 Project Cloverfield]
Fox and the LA Times announced a special Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium advertisement on September 9th that will treat readers to the "universally beloved" scent of frosted cake, reminding all who smell it to "be young and have fun." The disillusioned press release explains that Mr. Magorium...
"is the story of the strangest, most fantastic, most wonderful toy store in the world and the equally fantastic and wonderfully innovative ad will debut in the paper's annual Fall Movie Sneaks section."
The unique scented inks in the ad place the Mr. Magorium marketing department only two decades technologically behind scratch 'n sniff stickers. Though, unfortunately, the team still trails farts by millenniums.
Smell Mr. Magorium [ComingSoon]
A few weeks ago, I reported that The Simpsons Movie site had a feature that allowed you to design your own character in the style of the cartoon. It seemed only obvious for me to make Ted Kaczynski.
Now Burger King, working in conjunction with the new movie, has another version of the same idea called "Simpsonize Me." This one allows you to upload a photo of yourself for the program to reference in creating your avatar, which you can then fine tune. Using his mug shot, I immediately made another Ted Kaczynski.
I think the first one actually worked better, but you can judge for yourself.
Make your own here.
Though the deal isn't yet sealed, 7-Eleven has plans to dress 11 of their stores to resemble Kwik-E-Marts in a joint promotion with The Simpsons Movie, including the addition of Simpsons-inspired products like KrustyO's cereal, Buzz Cola, and Squishees. Current 7-Eleven fans need not worry that they'll lose their favorite features of the chain; though the signs and cups will say Squishee, it will still be a classic Slurpee inside, and, thankfully, meth-addicted thieves will continue to burglarize the store on a nightly basis.
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