- Never mind whoever I said would play Mary Todd in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Turns out it's going to be Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
- Adrianna Palicki is playing Wonder Woman in NBC's television show about Wonder Woman. It sounds just awful.
- Here's a hip hop remix of the Pee Wee's Playhouse end theme, just waiting for you to rap in a Pee Wee impression over. (Thanks, Todd.)
- Halle Berry is reclaiming the role she formerly abandoned in New Year's Eve, and now Carla Gugino is in it, too. Let's never talk about anyone being in this ever again.
- The Farrelly Brothers want Cher to play a nun in their Three Stooges movie. Sure.
- Richard Kelly's next will be a more straightforward than usual thriller about "a mentally unstable Iraq war veteran, who forges a strange friendship with his boss, a wealthy and politically ambitious owner of a supermarket chain." A&P meets PTSD! But you'll still like Donnie Darko more.
- That Shane Black-directing-Iron Man 3 thing is for reals.
Two of our greatest proponents of stunted male maturation are teaming up, and we're getting another Pee-wee Herman movie. guys. Variety reports producer-of-everything Judd Apatow and Paul Reubens--who's returned to his tinfoil ball nest, showing up at recently on stage and screen in his bow tie--are working on bringing to screens a new Pee-wee road movie built around "a gigantic adventure," which, if I'm not mistaken, sounds slightly larger than a Big Adventure. Reubens is writing the script with Paul Rust, and Apatow says he won't direct. Maybe the impressive-in-hindsight director of Pee-wee's first film, Tim Burton, can return to make this fucker 3-D?
My only request (besides avoiding the Big Top) is we don't get a glimpse of any of Pee-Wee's former neighbors. Laurence Fishburne would only drive up production cost, and I really, really don't want to see the effects of time on The Most Beautiful Woman in Puppetland. Some things were always meant to remain "reasonably-attractive when you're at an age when you don't know better."
When an actor manages to score early fame through an iconic role, it can be a huge boost to their career. But with that jump in notoriety comes the risk of being forever associated with that first breakthrough part, causing some actors to go through great lengths to distance themselves from it.
Take Daniel Radcliffe, for instance. Fearful of bearing the tormenting shouts of "Hey, Harry Potter!" his whole life, he took drastic measures. Next thing you know, he's on stage, naked, with a horse, and I'm left unsure of what would be more degrading to shout if I see him on the street.
Remember when Lindsey Lohan was playing cute twin girls trapping their parents, or a girl switching places with a hermaphrodite mom? Now she's playing kidnapped strippers, she's in rehab, and never seems to wear pants. Try to label her, society!
And don't tell me you wouldn't still be calling Christopher Reeve "Superman" if he hadn't made himself--well, let's just say it--the exact opposite of a Superman.
Thus, it came as no surprise when Paul Reubens, doomed to be remembered for connecting dots and living amongst anthropomorphic furniture, retired the Pee-Wee character, publicly masturbated, and played a coke dealer. You got to do something, right? But what is surprising is the recent announcement he made to MTV, saying that he's planning on reviving the character that made him famous, and has two scripts in the works, the first due for a 2009 release. Said Pee-Wee:
I feel like the time is really ripe right now. A lot of the kids who grew up with the show are young adults. The college kids are middle-aged adults. I feel like I have enough of a built-in audience to make back an investment.
It just goes to show you, a bird can fly as far as it wants from the nest, but it always ends up returning for its giant ball of aluminum foil. Or something like that.
Reuben to Return as Pee-Wee Herman [Contact]