Remember how Spike Lee is making a new version of Oldboy that will have more Josh Brolin? Now District 9 star Shalto Copley will be in that, too, to give Brolin someone to talk to about CGI aliens.
Well, Spike Lee's unfortunate Oldboy remake is still happening, and now we know who's going to star in it. Though originally set up as a Will Smith vehicle back when Spielberg was going to direct and imbue it with all his classically Spielbergian hardcore violence, Spike Lee hates Will Smith, so he's hired on Josh Brolin to star, just to make the Men in Black III premiere awkward. Brolin will play a character presumably no longer named Oh Dae-su, a man mysteriously held prisoner for 15 years and then set free to sort of exact revenge with a hammer. But, man, then it gets COMPLICATED. And, in this version, I imagine it will probably also get less brutal. And maybe a title change to something a little more marketable with the youth? Like, how about Youngboy? Young people love allusions to young people!
- Paul Rudd is attached to star in esteemed documentarian Errol Morris's first non-documentary since 1991, an untitled film based on an NPR story about the first man to ever be cryogenically preserved. Finally, an update to Forever Young that will replace Mel Gibson and Jamie Lee Curtis with people and interests you profess on your Facebook profile.
- Warner Bros. has bought a pitch that will see Battle: Los Angeles and Clash of the Titans 2 director Jonathan Liebesman helm a film about Caesar's building of an army and his march on Rome--an approach Deadline is calling "Patton-like." I wonder what Patton himself would say about that.
- Mandate Pictures reportedly wants Josh Brolin for the lead in the Oldboy remake Spike Lee is doing. Sure, go to Oldboy, Brand; I'll be in the Oldmen's room.
- Simpsons character-lipped Luther actress Ruth Wilson (above) is in talks to play the female lead, Rebecca, opposite Armie Hammer and Johnny Depp in Disney's The Lone Ranger. Now just need to lock down Eddie Murphy as the voice of Silver.
- Nick Frost is the seventh and final dwarf to join the cast of Snow White and the Huntsman, and he'll be digitally shrunk down alongside Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins, Eddie Izzard, and others. I'm sorry, Tarsem Singh's rival Snow White film, but this is a way, way better dwarf cast than Mickey from Seinfeld et al.
Hollywood's plan to remake Park Chan-wook's Oldboy has been long delayed but apparently not forgotten, and the latest rumor is that it may finally be materializing as a Spike Lee Joint™, with Twitch reporting Lee is in talks with Mandate to temporarily remove himself from courtside and direct an American version of the South Korean revenge film.
As you may recall, a few years ago Steven Spielberg was looking at doing this himself--with Will Smith in the lead--but he's just been so busy with all those War Horses and Tintins and Lincolns that he's never gotten around to it, and Spike Lee is going to have to do it for him, it seems. As for Smith's involvement, I wouldn't count on it anymore--you know, what with Lee referring to The Legend of Bagger Vance as "Driving Mr. Damon" and all. Or, wait, maybe Smith turning down Quentin Tarantino, who Lee also hates, evens things out? More on this as details emerge and we figure out exactly who is on Spike Lee's "you're a racist" shit list.
Mark Protosevich, writer of The Cell, The Poseidon, and The I Am Legend, is being courted by Steven Spielberg and Will Smith to write their ill-conceived Oldboy remake. From the Hollywood Reporter:
In a potential high-profile star-writer reunion, "I Am Legend" co-scribe Mark Protosevich is in early talks to pen the remake of "Old Boy" that boxoffice king and "Legend" star Will Smith is developing with director Steven Spielberg.DreamWorks secured the remake rights from Mandate Pictures, which also is staying involved in the project. Although the studio was meeting with several high-profile writers to do the adaptation, Smith invited Protosevich to meet with Spielberg on the project.
In case you're unfamiliar with Protosevich's writing, here are some samples of what the IMDb has deemed "memorable quotes" from films he's written.
From Poseidon:
Jennifer Ramsey: [walks to poker table with Christian] We're going downstairs now. Robert Ramsey: Ok, have fun... Hey Jen... Jennifer Ramsey: [looks down at her cleavage] The twins? Dad...Elena: I feel like I know your dad.
Jennifer Ramsey: He was mayor of New York for a while, back when I was a kid.
Elena: Cool.
Jennifer Ramsey: It wasn't.
From The Cell:
Carl Stargher: Why are you here... don't lie. Catharine Deane: I came to help you. Carl Stargher: Bitch, whore... Catharine Deane: You sound like your father. Carl Stargher: [in a monster's voice] HE WAS NOTHING, HE IS NOTHING!Carl Stargher: Me got boy! Boy me got!
And from I Am Legend:
Neville: Eat your vegetables. Don't just push 'em around, eat 'em. I ain't playin'!Neville: I like Shrek.
So, in addition to Will Smith starring in an Oldboy remake, this is the kind of writing you can expect. Because out-of-context quotes (some of which may have been added in re-writes by other writers) are always an accurate test of someone's writing ability.
Steven Spielberg (Duel) is in talks to remake the Korean film Oldboy with Will Smith (co-rapper, Summertime) in the lead. Not a joke:
Steven Spielberg and Will Smith are in early discussions to collaborate on a remake of Chan Wook-park's "Oldboy." DreamWorks is in the process of securing the remake rights, and the new pic will be distributed by Universal.In the 2003 Korean original, a man gets kidnapped and held in a shabby cell for 15 years without explanation. Suddenly, he's released and given money, a cell phone and clothes and is set on a path to discover who destroyed his life so he can take revenge.
Spielberg had been looking for an opportunity to make a film with Smith, who would play the kidnapped man if all the pieces fall into place. Spielberg is looking for a writer to begin the development process.
If you haven't seen Oldboy, it's really good, and don't get me wrong, I still like Steven Spielberg despite the Indiana Jones incident, but this like somebody saying, steak is really good, and I really like milkshakes, so I'm going to make a steak milkshake (starring Will Smith).
(Thanks, Chris)
Spielberg, Smith in talks for 'Oldboy' [Variety]
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I Watch Stuff is a movie and video blog dedicated to bringing you the best and worst that Hollywood and the Internet have to offer and then, more often than not, making fun of it because it sucks.
