- At last we'll get to watch Billy Crystal fuck some retirees. He'll reportedly star in Winter's Discontent, a comedy with a pretty lofty title for being about "a widower who moves into a reputed, active mature community in an attempt to reinvigorate his sex life." Frank Oz is directing and--oh no, Billy, that was your erectile medication you just downed three of, and the community meeting is in five minutes! UH-GULK!
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Here's Gangster Squad's new trailer--the one unofficially dubbed "the trailer where there isn't all that shooting-up-a-theater stuff, because, well, you know." In light of the Colorado shooting, all the scenes involving gunfire in a theater have reportedly been removed from the picture, but this trailer should assure everyone that, otherwise, Ruben Fleischer's film seems to have its heavy violence in tact, with pretty much every non-sex scene involving some kind of Tommy gun, shotgun, handgun, exploding car, beating, and/or whatever violence happened to make Sean Penn's face look like that.
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The first trailer for End of Watch set up the Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Peña-starring film as an exciting new film from "the writer of Training Day and The Fast and the Furious," with all the rookie cop drama and car chase stuff that implies. What's new with this latest trailer? It's red-band! So now Gyllenhaal shows his boobs! swears more! Also, there's a guy with a steak knife in his eyeball, so this is definitely NSFW due to language and cutlery horseplay.
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Is The Good Doctor a carefully-shot Sundance drama or an ironically-titled Lifetime Original Movie meant to further frighten women against men and hospitals? Is star Orlando Bloom really a "good doctor," or is he a very bad doctor with a proclivity for poisoning anyone it takes to hold on to a patient he's obsessed with? This first trailer for The Good Doctor asks these questions, then seems to let the former options sorrowfully crawl out the window with Orlando Bloom's little boy haircut.
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Featuring the various growls and old-fashioney tough-guy voices of Ryan Gosling, Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, Michael Peña, Anthony Mackie, Nick Nolte, Robert Patrick, and more (seemingly anyone who would put on a mustache and/or fedora, plus Emma Stone, to look good), Ruben Fleischer's 30 Minutes or Less follow-up, Gangster Squad, follows a group of cops working outside the system to run New York mobsters (mostly Penn's Mickey Cohen) out of Los Angeles. They accomplish this mostly by smashing, burning, and shooting things. Also, Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone sleep together right under Sean Penn's weird nose, because a love as crazy/stupid as theirs cannot be limited to a single Steve Carell comedy.
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Boasting "the writer of Training Day and The Fast and the Furious," the trailer for End of Watch is here, and it has all the rookie cop drama and car chases that being from the writer of Training Day and The Fast and the Furious implies. Shot as sort of a found-footage thing--pieced together from the nauseatingly shaky recordings of the police, criminals, and citizens most-enamored with photographing Jake Gyllenhaal's shorn head--the film features Gyllenhaal and Michael Peña patrolling the streets of South Central L.A. as a couple good cops. Perhaps TOO GOOD: After a high-profile bust against a big drug cartel, the officers themselves become targets, and as this trailer reveals, that eventually leads to a big set piece that traps them in an apartment complex, where they are "shooting their way outta here, bro; on three, dude." Could this be their END OF WATCH??? And is that Pitbull dancing at 1:42? Sign my Men in Black III soundtrack, PB!
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After catching some flack for Eddie Murphy making epilepsy sound too hilarious in the first Tower Heist trailer, greasy director Brett Ratner promised to rectify the situation with a new trailer for his action comedy that is about a tower heist. Here is said fixed trailer. Now Murphy's description of Ben Stiller's violent seizures has been edited so that it sounds like it's about destroying a car, so it's fine, OK, everyone?
P.S.: If this trailer gets you excited to see the film, no need to visit a theater! Assuming you have Comcast cable, and also live in either Atlanta or Portland, you will be able to watch Tower Heist just three weeks after its release through video-on-demand, and it will only cost you $59.99--all part of a Universal test to see if select markets are full of idiots who would like to throw some crazy money at a movie called Tower Heist.
Continuing the newfound tradition of aggressive, unabashed title straightforwardness seen in the likes of Cowboys and Aliens and Horrible Bosses, greasy Brett Ratner's Tower Heist is, naturally, a film about a tower heist. More specifically, it's about a tower heist committed by Ben Stiller, Matthew Broderick, Michael Pena, Casey Affleck, and Precious, who play tower employees wronged by tower resident Alan Alda--a Bernie Madoff-style a-hole suspected of hiding a vast fortune in his tower penthouse. In Brett Ratner's ultimate betrayal to Chris Tucker, Eddie Murphy also stars, playing a recently-released convict Stiller employs to be all sassy and help out with the finer points of theft.
Here's the trailer. It sure looks like a movie called Tower Heist!
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30 Minutes or Less has a lot going for it: the much-in-demand director of Zombieland (who has since been handed the highly anticipated Gangster Squad), the recently Oscar-nominated Jesse Eisenberg, the generally entertaining presences of Aziz Ansari and Danny McBride, a stupidly high-concept plot just ridiculous enough to work... so why do even scenes of flamethrowers and human bombs look so broadly mundane? Since when are flamethrowers boring, World?
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From The Hollywood Reporter comes news that Orlando Bloom has signed on to star as the titular character in the indie "Hitchcockian thriller" The Good Doctor. But is he playing a truly good doctor, or is he actually a terrible doctor, like how Lifetime dramas always describe abusive, murderous spouses as "The Perfect Husband." This summary sheds some light (it's the terrible doctor one):
The script from John Enbom ("Veronica Mars"), described as a Hitchcockian thriller, centers on a frustrated doctor looking to impress his superiors and colleagues. When his 18-year-old patient, admitted for a kidney infection, provides him with the esteem he so craves, the doctor tampers with her treatment so that she'll have to stay at the hospital with him.
[Michael] Pena will play an orderly who discovers the doctor's budding relationship and blackmails him for prescription painkillers. [Troy] Garity is a successful, self-assured doctor, a counterpoint to Bloom. [Courtney] Ford is a woman who has eyes for Bloom's character.
Wait, when did "Hitchcockian" come to mean "Like a particularly convoluted Law & Order: SVU"?
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