It may also be the low point of Michael Madsen's career--and the guy averages like a dozen movies you've never heard of a year, so that's really saying something. And the fact that he seems to have a co-writing credit at the end of the trailer isn't helping him nor the line, "Somethin' big; somethin' bad; somethin' that likes to eat people." Spoiler: turns out it's an anaconda with a piranha head.
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- The new Scream 4 poster: it's a mask AND a knife! Like love.
- Warner Bros. is releasing so-called "App Editions" of The Dark Knight and Inception for Apple's portable devices. Don't expect to get David Lynch's $11.99, iTunes.
- To take care of his debts to the IRS, his ex-wife, and Pierce Brosnan, Michael Madsen will supposedly appear in 29 films this year. But only one is called Back2Hell.
- Production on Men in Black 3 has been pushed back to March 28 to allow for someone to sort out the script's apparently-troubled third act. So go ahead and be shitfaced this month, Rip Torn.
- The official subtitle of Sherlock Holmes 2 is "A Game of Shadows." No Dark of the Moon, that's for sure.
- Australian documentarian Philippe Mora has uncovered two 3-D Nazi propaganda films shot in 1936, one of which consists of "shots of sizzling bratwurst on a barbecue." So the same technology AND as compelling a plot as Avatar? HAH!
Inside Hollywood's womb, something is growing so grotesquely inbred that I have no way of describing its deformed wretchedness. Luckily, the Hollywood Reporter has already laid it out (via The Hater, via Halcyon):
Chevy Chase, Burt Reynolds, Vinnie Jones, Michael Madsen and "Stuttering" John Melendez are spoofing the nonstop flood of spoof films in the upcoming indie comedy "Not Another Not Another Movie."
Chase plays a studio head who quits his floundering company, leaving his ex-con sibling (Madsen) in charge. Soon their equally inept gangster friend (Jones) takes over and assigns a production assistant (David Leo Schultz) to direct a spoof of spoof movies. Reynolds plays an actor playing the director of the chaotic film within the film.
Writer-director David Murphy's "Movie" features cameos from actors playing themselves spoofing their memorable roles, including Richard Tyson (the villian in "Kindergarten Cop") and Wolfgang Bodison (the young African-American Marine on trial in "A Few Good Men").
Look, I can understand wanting to make fun of spoof movies and the people who make them. I do it all the time. I just did it yesterday. But I did not make a movie about people making a spoof movie spoofing a spoof movie that spoofs other movies. That's too many layers for society to handle. The fact that you'll (seemingly) be acknowledging that your movie within a movie is terrible does not make it nor the greater movie any less hellish. If one dog barking makes another dog bark, which then makes yet another dog bark, it doesn't matter if the third dog is actually a guy pretending to be a dog, mocking the second dog. In the end, we're still left with more endless, agonizing noise.
I hadn't heard of the Tarantino-endorsed Hell Ride until now (only the Wesley Willis-imagined one), but it's already winning points for its cast (clearly chosen to elicit the word "badass") and detailed, hand-drawn poster. Don't look now, but this might replace Wild Hogs as your favorite aging-actor biker movie.
First Look at Tarantino's Hell Ride Poster [Shock Till You Drop]
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