Your weekend box office results. Save a tree; don't print them out this week.
1. 2012 - $65 million, a huge outpouring of support for the film's once hugely popular but now aging star, Flooding and Explosions.
2. A Christmas Carol - $22.3 million, another mediocre weekend that gives hope we might not have to endure A Christmas Carol 2: Scrooge the Pooch.
3. The Men Who Stare at Goats - $6.2 million. Don't believe any of this film's B.S. staring-at-goats-could-kill-them theories. I've stared at so many animals and people wishing they would die, and it never pays off.
4. Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire - $6.1 million--and that's on only 174 screens--giving hope to all those other little indie dramas that also have the endorsements of two of America's most influential women (Oprah and Madea).
5. This Is It - $5.1 million. Weren't we promised this would be out of theaters by now, finally allowing Michael Jackson's soul to escape the limbo of consumerism?
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Your weekend box office report. Share it with friends (and would-be friends as a great icebreaker!):
1. A Christmas Carol - $30 million. In these desperate times (sort of nearing Christmas), people needed a movie of hope (something with Christmas in the title).
2. Michael Jackson's This Is It - $13.2 million. It's like being at Michael Jackson's final performance, only he's still rehearsing it, and it's after months of his death coverage have made you too auto-angry at his image to enjoy any of it.
3. The Men Who Stare at Goats - $12.7 million, a modest number that reflects the insult the film dealt to our nation's many great goat herders--many of whom actually do spend a lot of time staring at goats and take offense to the idea it is in any way interesting.
4. The Fourth Kind - $12.2 million (The alien one.)
5. Paranormal Activity - $8.3 million (The one with ghosts.)
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Don't just sit at home playing your CD-ROMs; enjoy a film this weekend. Here are some options:
A Christmas Carol
Director: Robert Zemeckis
Starring: Jim Carrey, Gary Oldman, Bob Hoskins, the leads from The Princess Bride
Good if you want to see: disgusting near-humans acting out the well worn tale of Scrooge yet again
The Men Who Stare at Goats
Director: Grant Heslov
Starring: Ewan McGregor, George Clooney, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Spacey
Good if you want to see: Coen Brothers-esque comedy from non-Coens; George Clooney killing goats with his BRAIN
The Fourth Kind
Director: Olatunde Osunsanmi
Starring: Milla Jovovich
Good if you want to see: aliens! Or something like that.
Director: Richard Kelly
Starring: Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, Frank Langella
Good if you want to see: a Twilight Zone episode stretched out an extra hour; whether or not they're going to push that box button for a million dollars (they're totally going to push that box button for a million dollars)
Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (limited)
Director: Lee Daniels
Starring: Gabby Sidibe, Mo'Nique, Mariah Carey
Good if you want to see: the depressing story of an obese, illiterate teen twice impregnated by her father and abused by her mother; future Academy Award recipients; whatever Oprah and Tyler Perry want you to see, as usual
Looks like my family tree! Hahahahahahah!
Because my family has a long, proud history of bovid bestiality inexplicably resulting in hoofed children.
(Full sizes at Cinematical.)
Who's responsible for this? I think it must be the graphic designer for Taco Bell.
This trailer for Men Who Stare at Goats is basically Diet Coen Brothers. I'm not going to say it will completely fulfill you in the same way a refreshing Coen Brothers will, but I think you'll detect enough of that distinctly Coen flavor in Grant Heslov's comedy--especially with a mustached George Clooney and long-haired, druggie Jeff Bridges--that it should at least tide you over until you can get the real deal:
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I think we all have a goat or two we'd like to teach lesson or two. I know I'd personally love to murder a few of those idiot fainting goats--that'd show them. But there's always the one nagging problem in my plan: evidence! If only there were a way to kill the f***ers with only mind power!
According to author Jon Ronson, someone else had this same thought--namely, the U.S. Army--and began a series of "strange forays into extra-sensory perception and telepathy, which apparently included efforts to kill barnyard animals with nothing more than thought." Seeing the inherent potential in such an idiotic but supposedly true story, Peter Straughan wrote a screenplay from the book, Men Who Stare at Goats, and now George Clooney is set to star in a Grant Heslov-directed adaptation. The only deviation from the book will be that Clooney's death "stare" will be more of a playful wink and a charming grin.
George Clooney to 'Stare at Goats' [Variety]
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