Cinema's local bar cover band, Marcus Nispel--whose oeuvre includes varyingly tone deaf renditions of popular favorites The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th, and Conan the Barbarian--is ready to try his ear at comic book movies, and is now attached to direct Relativity Media's adaptation of Hack/Slash.
Created by Tim Seeley, Hack/Slash focuses an archetypical horror movie character who survives a slasher antagonist's attack and, with her huge friend Vlad in tow, goes on a vengeful quest to murder all slasher movie archetypes. What she cruelly destroys, Marcus Nispel dutifully resurrects. It's a natural pairing.
A film version of Hack/Slash has been in the works for years, with various writers and directors coming on a different points, and various Megan Foxes saying they wouldn't mind getting the lead, but it has yet to come together, so it's probably best to hold on to some skepticism about this actually happening. Still, might as well start thinking about who you want to root for to star. Should we just keep letting Rooney Mara play every damaged, vendetta-minded goth-punk lesbian and call it a day?
"Run from me, and I will tear apart the mountains to find you," Conan the Barbarian promises Stephen Lang, the man who killed his father. Well, in this latest trailer for the film, the Cimmerian doesn't really tear apart any mountains, but man, he sure fucks up a thin, decorative screen that was tastefully dividing a room! No Pier 1 Imports home collection will be spared until you're dead, Lang!
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Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) and Friday the 13th (2009) director Marcus Nispel's latest remake, Conan the Barbarian, still has another three months before audiences are exposed to a decidedly less-Austrian take on the character, but already Nispel is ready to move on to a new project--and it's one that won't even require a parenthetical mention of year-of-release! Working from an original idea of his own, cinema's one-man cover band will next direct a horror film called Backmask. The apparent transient/Will Ferrell character/Kris Kristofferson? will be shooting this one for a budget of only $10 million, from a script by Kirsten Elms, and with a producer from Paranormal Activity and Insidious who will bring along his talent at making low-budget horror almost offensively profitable. Nispel refrained from revealing exactly what "Backmask" refers to, but did mention the film involves "paranoia, possession and the paranormal." And it better also involve a mask that, when wore on the rear torso, creates a grotesque living face that demands to be fed human souls, or we all want our moneys back.
