Televised sociopaths Bryan Cranston and Mads Mikkelsen are joining fellow newcomer Rebel Wilson and a returning cast of stars in Kung Fu Panda 3. Their roles aren't yet being revealed, as the success of the Kung Fu Panda series resides entirely in the secrecy of its complex and often shocking plot twists, but the plot reportedly concerns Jack Black's obese panda facing "two hugely epic, but very different threats: one supernatural and the other a little closer to home." Yikes, sounds like ghosts! And adult-onset diabetes!
If another season of Celebrity Apprentice hadn't already made it clear, NBC is definitely investing heavily in human depravity. In just a few weeks, they'll be hoping to finally have a new hit with Hannibal, the latest re-hashing of the Hannibal Lecter story, which sees Hugh Dancy in the Clarice-like role of manipulated investigator and Mads Mikkelsen as a pre-conviction Lecter. Here's the first full trailer, promising gratuitous gore and even more-gratuitous scenes of eating dinner. Chewing is exciting when laced with dramatic irony! Or so NBC hopes, lest they be forced to label all the food as animal penises and call this a Fear Factor spin-off.
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With their Jekyll-and-Hyde drama Do No Harm coming and going over the span of two episodes and about thirty "looking into the mirror and seeing his duality" shots, NBC is quickly moving on to their next dismal offering of a doctor with a cartoonishly-dark side. As such, here's the first promo for the struggling network's Hannibal, the Hannibal Lecter-based series that will take over this April, even as those ubiquitous Do No Harm posters still hang to forlornly gaze at their lost Thursday night timeslot.
The series stars Hugh Dancy as Will Graham, a criminal profiler that seems a lot like he's just Dancy's head pasted on another generic procedural guy's body--both figuratively and quite literally. Laurence Fishburne co-stars as the FBI's Dr. Jack Crawford--who is definitely a different character than his CSI guy, Dr. Raymond Langston--while Casino Royale's creepy villain Mads Mikkelsen takes on the cannibalistic title role. As you'll see below, the part is mostly chewing-based:
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Good thing superhero sequels aren't notorious for being cluttered with unfocused villainy, or I'd have to make some sarcastic reminder of that.
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My brain is too hazy with cold medicine to digest this fully, but here's a collection of clanging, explosions, airships, slow-motion, Milla Jovovich, etc. that, when merged, I'm told is a preview of what Paul W.S. Anderson considers to be a faithful enough Dumas adaptation for his tastes. There's already one trailer for the film, so consider this one ROUND TWO! (Spoilers: you'll soon learn that "round two" is the best catchphrase in The Three Musketeers.)
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Behold the shame in both man and beast as they take direction from the man who made Mortal Kombat and Alien Vs. Predator. And check out the haircut on that horse.
More from the set of Paul W.S. Anderson's Three Musketeers here.
Inept, action-packing director Paul W.S. Anderson's "All for One"-less adaptation of the Three Musketeers story has taken another joyless step forward today with the announcement of most of the film's cast.
THR reports the director of Mortal Kombat, Alien vs. Predator, and Death Race has secured a cast that includes Percy Jackson's Logan Lerman as Chris O'Donnell; Ray Stevenson, Luke Evans, and Matthew Macfadyen as Oliver Platt, Kiefer Sutherland, and Charlie Sheen (respectively); Inglourious Basterds villain Christoph Waltz as Cardinal Tim Curry; Casino Royale villain Mads Mikkelsen as Michael Wincott; and Anderson's wife Milla Jovovich as whatever female role she wants, because that's the agreement she gets every time she starts fucking another director. An offer is also apparently out for Orlando Bloom to play the Duke of Buckingham, I assume because it just really seems like Orlando Bloom would be in a Three Musketeers movie, doesn't it?
Unsurprisingly, the film will be in 3-D, and studio executives are already predicting "3M in 3D" is going to look so fucking awesome on a poster.
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