Following seven years and four films of telling actors which direction to pretend they're steering, director Justin Lin is at last stepping away from the fast cars and smooth scalps of the Fast/Furious franchise.
Reaching out to those who have a deeper understanding of TARDIS mechanics than the combustion engine, Fast Five director Justin Lin is reportedly in talks for former Doctor Who star David Tennant to join the next big film about Vin Diesel driving cool cars. The news comes from LatinoReview, where they caution that the deal is still in "talks" in the most literal sense, with Tennant and Lin discussing the project over Skype. Details of the role are unknown. Considering how uncharacteristically lithe is he for the driving franchise, he'll probably just be playing the guy who drives The Rock.
Look, Justin Lin would love to make you a movie involving a deadly learning computer whose aged skin now hangs loose from being stretched with barbarian-like muscle, but if you jerk-offs are going to dick around about giving him a script for said movie, just forget it; he'll make another Fast/Furious film instead. Such is the sentiment exposed in this Deadline story, which explains that the snail's pace at which the Megan Ellison-produced Terminator is moving has caused Fast Five director to, at least temporarily, drop out of the project so that he may deliver unto us yet another film about Vin Diesel driving cars. If Ellison can wait, Lin may still return to still direct the film after Fast Six, but she may want to move on without him if she's hoping to turn Terminator back into a viable franchise, as the rights to skeletal androids revert back to James Cameron in 2018. Plus, Arnold's chest becomes less pectoral, more bosom every day, so probably a good idea to get started before his glowing android eye evokes a post-surgical cataract pity.
- Those persistent rumors were true, and there will indeed be a third Bridget Jones movie. The task of choosing a preferred Love Actually star is such a Sisyphean task.
- Justin Lin has decided to focus on Terminator movies and more Fast/Furiouses, and won't be directing a Highlander remake anymore, because Justin Lin's priorities are completely arbitrary.
- Being in every movie coming out is still not enough for Bryan Cranston, so he's going to make a movie himself, too. The Breaking Bad star is in the process of writing an adaptation of David Wiltse's Home Again for himself to direct. Last time Cranston wrote and directed a feature (back in 1999), he also starred, so expect this film, like every other film, to make room for Cranston. (via)
- Never Let Me Go director Mark Romanek is being talked about to direct a new version of Cinderella for Disney. Still no movement on the Cinderfella remake.
- For those wondering if Sesame Street's token bickering roommates Burt and Ernie are ...you know... the Children's Television Workshop has issued an official statement saying, "they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation." Come on, though, Red Fraggle?
The next entry in the Die Hard series has lost its director, but rest assured, that's not going to stop John McClane from yet again, for the fifth time in his adult life, finding himself in an unlikely scenario in which he's forced to pull off a long series of improbable, awe-inspiring stunts to save himself and others. While Noam Murro, the man originally signed on to direct Die Hard 5, recently decided he'd rather make a 300 spin-off, Fox is already moving to find a new director for the project, and have it down to a shortlist of four names: Joe Cornish, Justin Lin, Nicolas Winding Refn, and John Moore.
Cornish is the most unusual name on the list, as he only has one directing credit to his name, and it just came out last week. He's the writer/director behind the well-received chavs-versus-aliens action-comedy Attack the Block, and he's been building even more buzz from his writing collaborations with Edgar Wright on Spielberg's Tintin and Wright's planned Ant-Man movie.
Lin's name is out there because he directs Fast/Furious movies, and those things make so much money. Considering John McClane's increasing tendency to rely use cars as projectile weapons, he sort of makes sense otherwise, too.
Refn already has a tentpole film on his near schedule--that Logan's Run remake he's doing with Ryan Gosling at Warner--but Fox's desire to get him for their film isn't surprising considering how well Refn's Gosling-starring Drive is going down critically. His selection would probably also mean Ryan Gosling as a terrorist, though.
Finally, there's John Moore, whose last couple films were Max Payne and a remake of The Omen. Did you see that Max Payne? Yikes. That is a film completely deserving of all the "Payne-ful" puns it had poured on it upon release. If you want Die Hard 5 to be better than Live Free or Die Hard, this is probably not the guy whose campaign sign you want on your lawn. He's also probably the one who's going to get the job.
For those wondering what forced accent to expect the bad guys to wear this time, the Deadline story has the answer to that, too: Russian. That's right, John McClane is finally indulging his '80s action hero birthright of fighting off the Russians. Good for him.
Alright, all you would-be The Wolverine directors, you all can stop calling Fox to make sure they got your résumé. Unless your name is José Padilha (Elite Squad), Doug Liman (Jumper), Antoine Fuqua (Training Day), Mark Romanek (Never Let Me Go), Justin Lin (Fast Five), Gavin O'Connor (Pride and Glory), James Mangold (Knight and Day), or Gary Shore (commercials), you are probably not getting this job, says Variety, who yesterday released this not-that-short list of candidates still up for the coveted position of The Wolverine director.
Fox has been searching for someone new to take over the Japan-set sequel to X-Men Origins: Wolverine ever since Darren Aronofsky left the project in March, citing a need to be with his family instead of in Asia, making a movie about a man with a metal skeleton and claws in his wrist. The diversity of the contenders they're looking at--from Romanek, who's never done a blockbuster before, to Shore, who's never even done a feature, to Liman, who has a proven track record of making uneven contributions to the action genre--would seem to show that the studio is considering extremely varied approaches to the film. Or that they're hugely incompetent, and are hoping someone will show them a comic book or something that will explain what this Clawman is supposed to be.
Either way, their choices aren't as completely scattershot as they seem at first blush. Padilha recently replaced Aronofsky as director of that RoboCop remake, for example, so having the same guy replace Aronofsky again probably makes all the sense in the world to the guys at Fox HQ. And the fact that Fast Five has made half-a-million dollars worldwide has pretty much convinced every executive ever that Justin Lin must be Our Greatest Director. As for Shore, it seems his inclusion has less to do with his Adidas commercials and more to do with a demo animatic (found by BleedingCool) he made to show off how good he'd be at making Wolverine fight ninjas. Let's take a look at that, yeah?
Well, I hope you weren't too excited about the next Terminator film being a big reunion party for the "entire original cast." Fast Five director Justin Lin, the man charged with somehow delivering us a fifth Terminator that will not make us laugh at how this Terminatorbot has become a droopy old man, said of the rumor:
No. I don't know where that came from. Everything has just been between me and Arnold, you know? Just us going out and trying to find the right partners. I have certain elements, but it's never been about, 'Hey, let's bring everybody back!' I just don't process that way. To me, thematically, there are certain things that I want to see in a 'Terminator' movie. A lot of that does draw back to creating this timeline that is an extension, closer tonally to the first and second movies. But to me, it's not as mathematical as, 'Hey, let's get everybody back together and we'll shoot the movie.'
Yeah, start with the logistics of pasting Schwarzenegger's head on Vin Diesel's body; get to whether or not Michael Biehn should show up for some reason later.
Fulfilling his promise to "be back" in a way far more pandering and monetarily-motivated than anyone ever imagined, Arnold Schwarzenegger is attached to reprise his role in the Terminator franchise, albeit now as a visibly older robot whose flesh loosely hangs as a sorrowful reminder of his ever-declining muscle mass. As was reported before, Fast Five director Justin Lin is still the most likely candidate to direct this next chapter, and Terminator rights holder Pacificor is shopping the Arnold/Lin package around today, with Universal, Sony and Lionsgate, and CBS Films all reportedly "looking hard" at it, presumably hoping that staring long enough will eventually reveal some sense of how we've reached a point in the movie industry that hiring a man that qualifies for a $2 off senior discount at SuperCuts to play a deadly learning computer is somehow one of our most sought-after, likely-to-profit deals.
If they're going to do it, they'll have to act relatively fast, though--and not just because Arnold's not getting any younger. The rights will revert back to James Cameron in 2018, and at that point another deal would have to be worked out if Pacificor wants to keep cranking out these goddammers. But perhaps by then we'll all be so captivated by The Governator that we won't even care about The Terminator anymore, so we'll just cross that bridge when we get there.
It's been so long since any updates on the Terminator franchise (last I heard, we were making a $70 million cartoon out of it), I was starting to think maybe we were going to be spared a sequel to McG's 2009 film. Not so! Pacificor, the menacing-sounding hedge fund that now controls the series, is reportedly talking to Universal about launching the next chapter in Termination, and you know who the studio wants in charge of it? Justin Lin and Chris Morgan--director and writer, respectively, of the last three Fast and the Furious films. That's one way to make sure there's even more car manufacturer product placement in the post-apocalypse.
The reasons for Universal's sudden interest supposedly stems from Arnold Schwarzenegger's recent announcement he wants to get back to making a ton of money doing movies. Like they want to use Tron's slightly-creepy anti-aging technology to drag his tired frame into this world again, I guess? Oof. Can't we just hand over the Terminator reigns to India? They really seem to know what they're doing.
It's always a pretty safe bet that any Fast/Furious film is basically going to be some people sort-of-acting over an easy to grasp conflict that functions mainly as an excuse for some elaborate setpieces involving guys doing illegal things in their fancycars. Classic formula for creating apoplectic speed. The trailer Fast Five just has arrived, and I can finally confirm: yes, everyone, the newest Fast/Furious is also that. Except now there's also The Rock, and sometimes Vincent Diesel is an arsonist ninja.
Looks like Universal ended up actually making that fifth Fast/Furious movie they were talking about, because USA Today today has the first image from the production--a photo that brags, "We got The Rock to be in a second idiotic film with "fast" in the title!" Paul Walker, Tyrese Gibson, and, obviously, Vin Diesel also return to the series as awesome car drivers on the run from Dwayne Johnson's awesome-car-hating cop character.
In a completely unsubstantiated statement, director Justin Lin said of the Rock addition:
People thought it would be impossible to get Dwayne. But he didn't show up looking to cash a paycheck. That's pretty amazing, for a star like him to join the fifth part of a franchise. That says a lot about him and the fans.
That it does, Justin. That it does.
"Ya sell what sells!" That was probably the motto of old fashioned salesmen. They'd say it to their ragamuffin apprentice as an explanation for why all they sold was all-purpose tonic. "Ya sell what sells, kid! And what sells is this miracle tonic!"
That philosophy--which a Google search just informed me actually does exist--still applies today. So what sells for Universal Studios (not Florida)? Fast/Furious movies, obviously. The last chapter of the franchise, the concisely-titled Fast and Furious, was the studio's top-grossing film of 2009, with a worldwide gross of nearly $350 million. And so:
Universal Pictures is hitting the accelerator on a fifth installment of "Fast and Furious," currently being referred to as "Fast Five."Studio has closed deals with Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, director Justin Lin and producer Neal Moritz to return to the franchise, which has become one of the studio's most lucrative.
Chris Morgan is writing "Fast Five," marking the third time he and Lin have teamed for a "Fast and Furious" film. The story finds protags Dom (Diesel) and Brian (Walker) as fugitives being pursued by relentless lawmen.
Lensing will begin later this year for a 2011 release.
The sad part about this news is that it makes The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift feel like even more of an outlier, more of a mistake. As the only Fast/Furious without at least one of the original leads in the starring role, will people disregard the third chapter, forgetting the most valuable lesson it imparted?
NEVER FORGET: if you ain't outta control... you ain't in control.
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I Watch Stuff is a movie and video blog dedicated to bringing you the best and worst that Hollywood and the Internet have to offer and then, more often than not, making fun of it because it sucks.
