While yesterday's news of Colin Farrell playing Lancelot made abundantly clear that the star of Phone Booth is our new Richard Gere, let's now forget he is also definitely our new Arnold Schwarzenegger (since Fright Night, he is officially our new Chris Sarandon, too). As a reminder, here's a brief teaser for Total Recall, Len Wiseman's sleek, dumb remake that stars Farrell in the lead role that had Schwarzenegger continuously using a man as a human shield and then he threw him down.
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In the cold war for gratuitous use of 3D, Piranha 3DD's three-dimensional fake breasts and real Hasselhoffs are starting to look pret-ty weak in comparison to A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas's offerings. Today, a new trailer for the latter has arrived in a red-band variety, revealing the film's wealth of semen jokes, church pedophilia, claymation penises, actual boobs, RZAs, drugged-up toddlers, and NPH HJs--all presented in ridiculously prominent 3D. I'm sorry, Piranha 3DD, but you're going to need more than a risque title and a gun-legged Ving Rhames to get more stupidly over-the-top than that. Maybe a piranha with a vagina mouth that leads to obvious consequences? Just throwing out ideas.
Anyway, this is not to be viewed with co-workers:
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Multiple Asian representations, a depraved Neil Patrick Harris meeting Christ, knowingly gratuitous use of 3D, and the shotgun murder of Santa Claus? Hey, it's the A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas trailer, guys:
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From Yahoo, here's a first look at the third unlikely chapter of the Harold and Kumar franchise, A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas, which has thankfully managed to include Neil Patrick Harris yet again. Has a movie still ever looked more like the sort of disarmingly strange fan art you find if you click around DeviantArt for any time over 30 seconds? I think not.
After seeing this banner from MTV, the characters all lined up, with so many sharp eyebrows and/or angular features, does anyone else get the impression the Enterprise is being run by half-elves? Bones (second from the left) looks like he might be human, and Chekhov (far right) is probably a halfling, but the rest are half-elves. It really makes you think what the stats, class, and alignment of each character would be according to 2nd edition rules, and how those attributes would weigh in on an away mission battle against a Beholder, doesn't it?
An official version is expected later today, but until then, here's a bootleg of the new Star Trek trailer for you to do some watchin' on.
A Star Trek movie with sports cars, on-bridge brawlin', and Uhura bra shots? One thing's for certain: this ain't your (nerdy) father's Star Trek! It might, however, be your douchey step-dad's Star Trek, and he'll probably be mad we were messing with it.
UPDATE: Official, nice-looking version available here, and streaming under the cut. (Thanks, Fox.)
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The new Star Trek character posters were revealed at VegasCon this weekend, finally putting together the actor-face/slight-hint-of-uniform combo we've been envisioning for months. Is it just me or does Simon Pegg look far more like Tim Conway than Scotty? (Dorf references are still relevant, right?)
High resolution here.
Though no miniature burger or torture destination has been named, New Line has announced that Harold and Kumar will be a trilogy:
Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg, who wrote "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle" and "Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay" and directed the latter, will return to write and direct a third installment for Mandate Pictures.
Storyline is being kept under wraps.
Stars John Cho and Kal Penn are expected to reprise their roles as the ganja-loving duo because Mandate has options on the actors for the third installment.
I kept waiting for the part where they explained that this will be a prequel, in which younger actors do impressions of Harold and Kumar, but this seems to be legitimate. I just hope I can still see Kumar as a stoner now that I know he is, in reality, a doctor working under the medical maverick House M.D.
'Harold and Kumar' set for third puff [Variety]
See, in the first one, they were smoking joints. When it say they're running from the "joint", this time it's referring to prison, slangily referred to as "the joint" in some cultures. I knew there was inherent comedy lying within homonyms, but it took the Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay poster to prove it.
But I have to wonder, why not a shot of them in the airplane scene, with the tagline, "They've never been higher"? Or maybe "After torture, it's time to turn over a new leaf"? Is a word balloon saying "Weed rather not be waterboarded" too much?
Harold and Kumar 2 Poster [Worst Previews]
I like that in the first scene of the trailer, apparently picking up nearly immediately after the conclusion of the first film (a la Halloween 2), there are already two instances of "continuity porn." HA! They DID eat 30 burgers and four orders of fries at the end of the first movie! Ha-HA! Kumar WAS unusually preoccupied with the grooming of one's pubes! Those H&K fans do enjoy their call-backs!
Thank God they're building off the trend started by Walk Hard and taking full advantage of the particular freedoms of the "red band" trailer. "F***"s abound, both spoken and typeset! Plus, the debut of Missi Pyle's cycloptic, should-have-been-aborted offspring! Inbreeding enthusiasts, rejoice!
And, as terrible as the likeness may be, George W. Bush pawing the air, stoned and giggling, "'Cock-meat sandwich!' That's my favorite!" is a surprisingly humorous example of this sequel's apparent ambitions to top the original in scope while still continuing the story and rehashing beloved bits. What started as a stoner movie about eating cheeseburgers has now evolved into a diatribe on the American government.
And the ballsy title had better not change. It just might pave the way for Dude, Where's My Enlisted Son's Corpse?
Red Band Harold and Kumar 2: Escape from Guantanamo Bay Trailer [First Showing]
Lingerie-clad babes and flannel hunting shirts?! Is there any wacky (mis)adventure Harold and Kumar won't go through in their endless pursuit for small, square meat patties? Clearly not.
More images here.
Some surprising casting choices have turned up in the JJ Abram's Star Trek prequel, with Simon Pegg and John Cho (Harold, of and Kumar fame) taking the roles of Scotty and Sulu, respectively.
I'm actually pretty happy about this. But I honestly don't know why. I enjoy Simon Pegg and John Cho and I kind of like Star Trek, so I should be happy right? But isn't hiring two comedic actors for roles in a dork franchise kind of a bit of lazy cop-out stunt casting? If JJ Abrams is indeed going to keep patronizing us by hiring funny people with a built-in dork following as the new crew of the Enterprise, the new Kirk may very well end up being David Cross.
Cho, Pegg Beam Up To Trek [Sci-Fi]
The teaser trailer for Harold and Kumar 2 is online, and the plot outline is that they're running from authorities who suspect them of being terrorists after they try to sneak a bong on board their flight to Amsterdam. Sound stupid? Of course. But who cares, because Doogie Howser is back and reprising his role as, well, Doogie Howser. If they can somehow work in Scott Baio playing Scott Baio, this thing will win all sorts of Academy Awards. Wait, they have a category for "Best Use Of TV Actors Who Used To Be Famous But Now Aren't Famous" right?
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