In a departure from their typical cute, moving, beautifully-animated projects, Studio Ghibli recently made this semi-live-action short where a giant, awful alien asshole ruins Japan with his awesome mouth-laser--just like how you assumed My Neighbor Totoro would end, until it disappointingly didn't. The amount of narration running through the eight-minute film would seem to hint at a grander story--and there's definitely a larger story behind the film's impressive pedigree, if you're so interested--but the important thing is there's this big jerk freak, and his mouth-laser is really cool. So take a look:
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Wolverine's last adventure takes him to Japan, where his immortality is threatened, and he can at last buy all the hard-to-get manga and dating sims he's had his eye on. Logically, then, you'll want to watch this Japanese trailer for The Wolverine. It's the most authentically Japanese, because now there are Japanese subtitles--both in the sense of translated dialogue and that the film is there being titled Wolverine: Samurai, a reflection of how Wolverine takes part in the noble bushidō tradition of clawing a dude on top of a moving train. Have a look:
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Though we've long theorized spy work to be the most-fulfilling dangerous work to watch a kid partake in, those great innovators of Japan have some new evidence to prove otherwise: Kid's Police, a hard-boiled, '70s detective drama that puts children in the roles of the cops. It sounds like a cheap, cutesy gag, but as you'll see in the trailer below, these kid police really sell it--especially the chief kid, whose portrayal of bad-ass in boys' section sizes plays a lot stronger than anything in Jack Reacher. Have a look:
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The trailer for Dead Sushi left unresolved a lot of questions about the killer sushi film. Among them: What the fuck is happening here? Why does this man have a fish head? The sushi are humping each other, too? Again, Japan? Is this really how you want to continue to be known as a country?
This first clip from the film attempts to answer a few of these nagging questions by--no it doesn't. It's just some Japanese girls dancing around in bras.
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Noboru Iguchi--director of such all-the-way crazy things as Machine Girl and RoboGeisha--has created a new film for the prosecution to use as evidence in his inevitable trial. Promising "sushi action," "sushi violence," and "sushi erotica" (this is accurate by any interpretation of "sushi erotica"), Dead Sushi stars High Kick Girl's Rina Takeda and a man with a giant fish head in a dramatic tale about sushi somehow becoming sentient and attacking people, and maybe that turns the victims into zombies or something, but who can really tell. Watch the trailer below.
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While, in the U.S., we reserve the honor of becoming a parade-less float for only the most uproarious Eddie Murphy vehicles, in Japan, this tremendous showing of giant foam respect has been shown for the upcoming Sadako 3D. Cultural differences!
The sixth film in the Ringu series--which I think involves the internet, but who knows--has already been bizarrely promoted through baseball and an inexplicable Hello Kitty tie-in. Now there's also this huge, tumor-like mass of hair and gross nails being driven around--which is actually a pretty normal promotional stunt in comparison. Especially if for comparison you use this example of a terrifying Sadako army piloted by sack-headed men, which is also something Japan has done:
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Here's the new Japanese The Amazing Spider-Man trailer, a slightly extended preview that adds in some new footage and strongly hints at Peter Parker himself being partially responsible for Dr. Curt Connors' transformation into the evil Lizard. You would have to accentuate the superhero's most shameful, self-loathing moments, wouldn't you, Japan?
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Though it's technically an ad for Disney's Tokyo resort, this brief commercial plays out more like the kind of touching short that would get nominated for Best Animated Short Film and lose to something Pixar knocked out. Like another Japanese-animated short we saw last month, the 40-second spot takes viewers through an entire lifetime of events, looking at a Disney fan as seen from the park where she spent her childhood, met her future husband, got married, took her children, and eventually died before the cold, unblinking eyes of a Pluto mascot head. At least I think that's what the final shot is implying.
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As we learned through a trailer released in February, Japan is not yet done with their time-honored horror tradition of having long-haired girls climb out of screens. Quite the opposite, they've been investing heavily in long-haired girl screen technology, and now have a long-haired girl crawling out of an LED computer screen (in 3D) for their latest Ringu sequel, Sadako 3D.
As we've also learned about Japan, they have basically no discretion when it comes to combining things, tossing together Kit Kats and European cheese with the same cavalier attitude one might marry animated pornography and outright revulsion. So, to promote the upcoming Sadako 3D, now they've mated Hello Kitty and Ringu. Because why shouldn't adorable things also be horrifying nightmares covered in bows? There's a reason Toddlers and Tiaras is so unnervingly popular.
More cat-meets-ghost shots below. I have to admit, Hello Kitty's dead eyes do kind of work for a haunting spectre.
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Over in Japan, where haunted videotapes hold the kind of cultural significance America reserves for murderous, spiral-cheeked puppets, the sixth film in the Ringu series will open this year. It's called Sadako 3D, and judging by this brief teaser--oh shit, guys--THE RING GIRL IS IN OUR HIGH SCHOOL INTRANET (in 3D).
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