What people paid in a theater see last weekend:
1. Resident Evil: Afterlife - $27.7 million, benefiting from the fact that no other major releases opened this weekend and no current release had sunglasses being thrown at the screen just so it would look sort of momentarily cool in 3-D.
2. Takers - $6.1 million. The cast of Takers have seemingly been accepted as our new Rat Pack, and our society has been accepted as our new terrible society that finds that OK.
3. The American - $5.9 million. Are there George Clooney sniper rifle/pull-up bar-equipped action figures, yet? Let's make some.
4. Machete - $4.2 million. Films based on intentionally-ridiculous fake trailers contained within an experiment in replicating vintage camp just don't perform like they used to.
5. Going the Distance - $3.8 million in ticket sales from people curious enough to find out why either Drew Barrymore and Justin Long can't just move for the other one.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Machete
Director: Robert Rodriguez
Starring: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Michelle Rodriguez
Good if you want to see: that Grindhouse trailer for Machete expanded by a bit, and with Robert De Niro, Steven Seagal and Lindsay Lohan, now, which is weird; Danny Trejo kill some people with giant knives.
Going the Distance
Director: Nanette Burstein
Starring: Drew Barrymore, Justin Long, Christina Applegate, Jason Sudeikis
Good if you want to see: Drew Barrymore and Justin Long have a long-distance relationship. That was tiresome just to type out.
The American
Director: Anton Corbijn
Starring: George Clooney, Paolo Bonacelli
Good if you want to see: George Clooney as an assassin, who is American. Go America!
Last Train Home (limited)
Director: Lixin Fan
Good if you want to see: a documentary about one family involved in the insanely massive exodus that occurs every Chinese New Year, when industrial workers return home to their rural villages in the largest human migration ever. Really puts everyone leaving a concert at once in perspective.
Mesrine: Public Enemy #1 (limited)
Director: Jean-Francois Richet
Starring: Vincent Cassel, Cecile De France, Gerard Depardieu (obviously)
Good if you want to see: the second chapter of the Mesrine saga. Now he's back in France! Ut oh!
The Winning Season (limited)
Director: James C. Strouse
Starring: Sam Rockwell, Emma Roberts, Rob Corddry
Good if you want to see: Sam Rockwell steal Billy Bob Thornton's designation as go-to asshole coach.
Sorry, guys, but the movie that seems to be entirely about Drew Barrymore and Macintosh Embodiment having a long-distance relationship--Going the Distance--has been delayed a week, and will now open September 3rd. Looks like we'll just have to see Eat Pray Love again the last weekend in August, while imagining the glorious filmed phone conversations that await the following Friday. What a world.
They fall in love, then she moves away and call each other and talk because they're still in love but it's hard because long-distance relationships are hard, then they get to see each other again and they're still in love, and it's especially darling because Drew Barrymore and Mac are (were?) a real-life couple, and isn't that the most truly unbearable thing you could imagine? Here it is manifested as a trailer:
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Remember those halcyon days of yore (last year or the year before or whenever), when Drew Barrymore and Justin Long were a happy couple? Those beautiful times when L.A. was our Camelot, and at its throne was a Charlie Angel and the human manifestation of an Apple computer? Those were the days, yeah? Well, they're back! The BarryLong (I assume this was their couple name) team is reuniting on the silver screen:
Drew Barrymore will star opposite Justin Long in "Going the Distance," a romantic comedy for New Line. Adam Shankman and Jennifer Gibgot are producing via their Offspring Entertainment banner, and Nanette Burstein is directing.
The story by first-time scribe Geoff LaTulippe follows a couple trying to maintain a long-distance relationship.
LaTulippe was a New Line script reader who segued into screenwriting, and "Distance" contains some imprint from his life: The male lead also is a script reader.
The female lead is a character who moves to Chicago to be a middle school teacher.
A long-distance relationship movie? So like a lot of talking on the phone, using Instant Messenger, and fretting that their partner is being unfaithful? I'm skeptical. Let's save the boring, long-distance, technology-based romancing to Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.
Drew Barrymore goes the 'Distance' [THR]
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