After the breakout success of their quickly-spread "this movie is mediocre to bad and, amazingly, needs more Channing Tatum" campaign, Paramount has begun an all-new viral marketing game for their long-delayed G.I. Joe: Retaliation. As you can see from the above banner, this one is based on Cobra recruitment, with the studio putting out banners, posters, and the below recruitment video that, despite the film's special effects budget, is nowhere near as cool as that one where a Marine fights a lava monster.
On the official Cobra Special Foces site, they also promise some sort of special recruiting functions taking place across the country at events like a monster truck rally, a Kid Rock show, a WWE match, and several distance runs. Because if you've truly got what it takes to sit through G.I. Joe: Retaliation, you're going to need endurance, and really bad taste in entertainment.
Continue Reading →
Earlier this summer, when Paramount decided to delay their G.I. Joe sequel by ten months, there were rumors that it was due to the unsurprising fact that the film was quite bad, leading the studio to shoot some additional scenes with Channing Tatum--who died almost immediately in the initial cut, but whose brief banter with The Rock was supposedly the only part test audiences could handle. Afraid to admit how much they like Tatum's belly muscles, Paramount denied those claims, attributing the delay to a sudden post-production 3D conversion, but with this latest trailer for the March release, they seem to have revealed some truth to it.
Now Tatum has what is apparently his quickly-established catchphrase! And he tells people to "go go go go go!", because he ostensibly plays a part in one of these huge action set pieces he wasn't on set for! But while there's definitely some additional Tatum in this trailer, it's still yet to be revealed if his expanded role is limited to the opening scene or if it now turns out he survives and was just initially thought missing because he was doing impromptu sit-ups behind a rock.
Continue Reading →
Originally scheduled for a release last summer, G.I. Joe: Retaliation was instead shipped back to the manufacturer to be refurbished after boy-crazy test audiences complained it needed more of Channing Tatum, less of being a terrible movie. Now the film is 3D, supposedly has more Tatum, and is coming out in March, and a slightly new, international trailer has been put out to remind us all of all that. Unfortunately, there still isn't any new Tatum in this preview, so if that was your problem before, this won't really solve anything. And the movie doesn't really look any different or better than before, so this likely won't change any opinions on the whole "being a terrible movie" thing either. But, hey, if you just want to watch some people shoot at each other and pretend to be toys, there is that. Here you go:
Continue Reading →
Just a week ago, Paramount announced plans to bump this summer's G.I. Joe: Retaliation to next March--a delay the studio claimed they would use constructively "to do a conscientious 3D job because we've seen how it can better box office internationally," which made some sense, because studios do indeed love charging people more for 3D tickets. But what if I were to tell you that was all part of a massive cover-up meant, as one insider put it, "to not reveal the Tatum of it all"? Then it's kind of funny, isn't it? Because who says that?
Continue Reading →
So much escalating excitement over the slow realization, "oh, they made another G.I. Joe... with Bruce Willis?" and now it won't see a payoff for another ten months. Paramount has delayed G.I. Joe: Retaliation until March 29, 2013 so that they have time to make it more 3D, and thus make a bunch more money off it.
Continue Reading →
Hot on the heels of yesterday's big dumb trailer for G.I. Joe: Retaliation, here's another big dumb trailer for the action figure-based sequel. This is an international trailer, with less emphasis on Bruce Willis and more focus on ninjas and the fact that The Rock refuses to use bolt cutters. Thanks, guys, but if Dwayne Johnson needs to break into heavily-guarded backyard, he's going to do it with special heat glove things that melt away the chain-link fence. GO JOE.
Continue Reading →
This latest trailer for G.I. Joe: Retaliation wastes little time in explaining why Joe star Channing Tatum was so absent from the last trailer for the film. As the preview--and presumably the actual film--opens, the entire G.I. Joe action figure line is attacked by the U.S.'s own forces, taking out the majority of the team, Tatum included. More likely it will turn out Tatum is alive in the hospital or something, leaving the team in the hands of a new leader for but one movie, because that formula worked well enough for Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. But as far as why The Rock is now seemingly leader of a Wayans-free Joe team, that's why.
As for why the Joes were attacked, it's because Cobra has wrested control of the White House, and not even in the polite way lobbyists do it. Thanks to the shape-shifting powers of Arnold Vosloo, Cobra has literally taken over the presidency, placing themselves in power and turning the surviving G.I. Joe figures into criminals. Finding it tough to hide out when half their team is composed of an enormous, shorn man and the personification of a black dildo, the Joes turn to the only man they can trust: G.I. Joe himself, Bruce Willis, who seems to have contributed a few wisecracks on the condition that he be allowed to shoot them all in sequence in front of a green screen. Willis grants the Joes use of that super awesome tank vehicle your parents refused to buy you because they already bought you the Turtle Blimp for your birthday, and, well, now The Rock has one less pithy quip he can use in Fast Six:
Continue Reading →
From across mankind's internet--specifically, across IGN, HeyUGuys, CloneWeb, /Film, JoBlo, Collider, ComingSoon, and Yahoo--here is the full set of character posters for the summer's most anticipated militant action figure movie, G.I. Joe: Retaliation. All your favorites are here: metal face, ninja, dignified Bruce Willis, Channing Tatum, guy who is shirtless but is somehow not Channing Tatum, solemn Rock--plus, girls! See them all larger below.
Continue Reading →
It also gives Bruce Willis the line, "Call me Joe." He is Joe, guys:
Continue Reading →
As the trailer for G.I. Joe: Retaliation opens, already the eponymous team is being betrayed. Like a mom angry that she keeps stepping on your little plastic men, the U.S. President (or, more likely, Arnold Vosloo's evil Disguise Man) has ordered the elimination of all G.I. Joes, thus immediately rationalizing a huge casting shake-up over on the good guy's side. With G.I. Wayans and the lot seemingly dead from the outset, the team is now led by either The Rock or a strangely absent Channing Tatum, and the only other members of the team appear to be a different babe, some dude, and a handful of ninjas. And, with Dennis Quaid apparently also MIA, there's only one man the gruop can trust: Bruce Willis. Because if you can't trust the guy who briefly swings by in an El Camino just to pick up his wisecrack check, who can you trust?
Continue Reading →
- Previous results on
Previous Page
- I Watch Stuff
Main Page
- More results on
Next Page
