Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

'Footloose' Trailer Warns: Don't Dance and Drive

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When city coolguy Ren McCormack moves to the small Tennessee town of Bomont, he's shocked to learn that the city had banned dancing. Their reasoning? Last time some kids gathered together to recreate scenes from the Step Up series, they ended up getting in a car accident! And while some would attribute that mishap to all the empty Coors Light cans strewn around the dancing grounds, the Reverend Dennis Quaid saw fit to blame the art of Channing Tatum, and convinced the council to ban all public displays of rhythmic movement. What's a dance-loving city boy to do!? Recreate the plot of 1984's Footloose is what he's to do:

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'Footloose' Poster: Oh, Right, We Remade 'Footloose'

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From MTV, here's the poster for Black Snake Moan director Craig Brewer's remake of Footloose that, like Morningstar Farms, tries to pass off some kind of unknown substitute as something equivalent to Bacon. I'm not buying it, but hey, at least they're trying--in times like this, when roughly half our network reality programming is dedicated to competitive dance, it's obvious we needed someone reminding us that moving to rhythms should not be outlawed.

Here's the full one-sheet:

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Unwanted 'Footloose' Remake in Peril!

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Paramount just can't hang on to alumni of Disney's musical high school. Variety reports Kenny Ortega, director of This Is It and heir to the Ortega taco-making supplies fortune (unconfirmed), has departed from the studio's planned Footloose remake over disputes about tone and budget. Fellow High School Musical participant Zac Efron had earlier left the project to be replaced by his faerie brethren, Chase Crawford.

Paramount is still looking to keep the film on track for March shooting, and is looking for an immediate replacement. Personally, I'm less concerned about who's going to replace Ortega than who's going to replace original theme composer and certified hitmaker, Kenny Loggins. Because the answer is no one can replace Kenny Loggins. A Loggins-less world is not one worth small-town-dancing in, that much I can tell you.

This Guy I'm Barely Familiar With Now in 'Footloose'

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Zac Efron and Chace Crawford: both are up-and-coming, bright-eyed young stars, both are popular with teenage girls, and both arrived from the plane of Faerie about twenty-five millennia ago (source). So when Efron announced he'd be dropping out of his starring role in Paramount's Footloose remake, there was, of course, only one overly-pretty face to take his spot:

Chace Crawford has signed on to star in Paramount Pictures' remake of "Footloose."

The Kenny Ortega-helmed project had been thrown into doubt when Zac Efron decided against making another tuner so soon after "High School Musical 3" and instead signed on for "The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud."

Although Crawford's involvement has long been rumored, his reps were only just now able to ink a deal to bring the "Gossip Girl" star aboard the pic.

Whatever. Either way, Kevin Bacon is rolling in his Bacon Brothers Band stool.

Chace Crawford set for 'Footloose' [Variety]

Bacon Wishes Zac Efron 'Best' for 'Footloose' Remake

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Kevin Bacon is a god, capable of both givething and takething away. If you're going to try to remake one of his movies, you're going to want to get his blessing, lest your movie dry up into an arid wasteland incapable of sustaining crops or a $20 million weekend. Good thing he's wished Zac Efron the best on the Footloose remake:

Kevin Bacon has officially given his blessing to Zac Efron over his role in a remake of the classic 1980s film FOOTLOOSE. Efron is to assume the role originally played by Bacon in the new film, which is being directed by Kenny Ortega.

I met Zac briefly at an event and we talked, only briefly, but he seemed like a really nice kid," Bacon told Heart FM. "I really do wish him all the best with it."

Bacon then added, "Also, I wish him all the best in being so successful and prolific in mainstream film as to warrant an entire effin' game based around how well-connected you are to so many other famous actors. Yeah, good luck with that you little turd."

Kevin Bacon gives Footloose blessing to Efron [Hollywood News (via /Film)]

I'll Have Another Footloose, Extra Gay, Hold the Bacon

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I wish I was queer.../so I could get chicks

Seems that someone out there has discovered that 12-year-old girls have plenty of disposable income and love musicals (I discovered that their panties smell nice, but that's neither here nor there...). Since writing new musicals is kind of hard, Paramount decided to remake Footloose, which was, like, kind of a musical.

The regrettably Bacon-free remake will star Zac Efron (High School Musical, Hairspray) and will be directed by Kenny Ortega (like the chili). The 1984 original, of course, told the story of a rebellious newcomer to a town where dancing has been banned.

It reminds me of my hometown. A place where most folks just couldn't understand that inside this masculine adonis in a crotch-stuffed leotard breathes the soul of a dancer!

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