Looking to relive some of the fun of the old days, Frodo sets about assembling a makeshift fellowship of mannequins adorned in Legolas-like lady-scalps in Maniac, P2 director Franck Khalfoun's remake of William Lustig's 1980 slasher. Here's the film's latest trailer, which lands squarely in NSFW territory thanks to Maniac's tendency to peek on women changing and also tear the flesh off their skulls. That's Maniac for you.
Before he gets around to bringing Speed to the highbrow world of classical piano, Elijah Wood is starring in Maniac, in which he brings women's scalps to the world of a maniac who wants to put them on his mannequins. This remake of the 1980 William Lustig cult classic was written by The Hills Have Eyes remaker Alexander Aja and directed by P2's Franck Khalfoun, who shot most of this version in the first-person, thus allowing us to see the world from behind the eyes of a crazy killer, who is Elijah Wood. See the trailer below, and experience what it's like to be a maniac, and also what it's like to be the kid from North washing your hands in a public restroom. (Not as great as you always assumed.)
Concert pianist Elijah Wood and his wife are going to die! Unless Elijah Wood plays HIS BEST CONCERT EVER, that is. We're going to make that a movie now, okay, everyone?
Like a strip mall Red Lobster, this new Happy Feet Two trailer hopes the promise of unlimited shrimp will entice you to pay over ten dollars for the experience of feeling nauseatingly overwhelmed by a deluge of crustaceans. If that's not enough for you, also promised in this trailer: celebrity-voiced dancing penguins and a truly unreasonable number of uncomfortable close-ups. Red Lobster, meanwhile, continues to promise fresh seafood at reasonable prices just high enough to make you look better than if you'd taken your date to Applebee's.
- From the set of Hyde Park on Hudson, here's a photo of Bill Murray as Roosevelt. And here's a photo of Bill Murray as Garfield.
- Elijah Wood is attached to play a serial killer in Franck Khalfoun's Maniac, the Alexandre Aja-produced indie thriller about a man who sells antique mannequins and stalks and murders victims he finds on the internet. Please, don't let the horrific premise spook you about buying antique mannequins online, though. I still have hundreds of gently-used mannequins just waiting to find a nice home like yours.
- Relativity Media and Tarsem Singh's long-untitled Snow White project has finally been given the title Mirror Mirror. If you're a member of bygone British pop band 10cc, feel free to pretend it's named after your 1995 album that Tarsem presumably agrees is underrated.
- Legendary Pictures has picked up the rights to Spectral, Ian Fried's pitch that follows a special ops group fighting evil spectres haunting Manhattan. Someone please tell Dan Aykroyd that this counts as Ghostbusters 3 so we can be done with that.
Ever wanted to see the Beastie Boys' "(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party!)" video expanded to twenty minutes and stuffed with cameos, including scenes of celebrity-played Beastie Boys of two different time periods meeting? Well, that will be an option soon enough (May 3, I think, if you order the new Beastie Boys album). But until then, here's a trailer for that.
It's pretty weird. Like if Funny or Die directed an episode of Sliders, if Sliders had the budget to pay for Beastie Boys songs. That weird.
- The Thor poster takes place in the same blue nebula as the Iron Man 2 posters! What a unified cloud world you're building, Marvel.
- Sir Ian McKellen, Andy Serkis, and Elijah Wood are all officially reprising their roles in The Hobbit films, but they'll be wearing slightly different costumes so you'll have to buy the new action figures.
- Michelle Pfeiffer will be playing Chris Pine's mom in Alex Kurtzman's directing debut, Welcome to People. Has it really been so long since we masturbated to her photos in a Batman Returns behind-the-scenes magazine?
- Jeremy Piven and Mike O'Malley have joined the cast of So Undercover. In the film, Miley Cyrus stars as an unconvincing private investigator sent undercover in a sorority house that needs to be investigated for some reason; Piven is playing a special agent and O'Malley will, as usual, play a dad that's probably always wearing a fucking baseball cap.
Frodo Baggins!? In The Hobbit!? Is this January All-Pranks Friday!? NO, it is not! In a story about Warner Bros. footing the bill for bankrupt MGM's prequel to the NerdQuest Trilogy, Deadline mentions that Elijah Wood is "possibly" in talks to return to the franchise. Could this mean Frodo makes an appearance at the end of the second Hobbit film, bridging the gap between those films and the Lords of Rings? Will Peter Jackson turn the whole thing into a sitcom flashback, with Wood playing his own father and mother (Drogo Baggins and Primula Brandybuck, obviously) thanks to a goofy mustache and a ladywig? Man, I sure hope so.
Being stereotypically handsome and marrying that cute little pile of diastema known as Anna Paquin just isn't enough for Josh Duhamel: he still has feelings for college sweetheart Katie Holmes, and vice versa! Yikes! So, on the eve of his wedding with Paquin, you can imagine how his awkward reunion with Holmes (and their old group of friends Elijah Wood, Adam Brody, and Malin Ackerman) would nearly make me feel sympathy for them were they not a living action figure and a vacant husk, respectively, both incapable of true emotions. See if you can muster some up with this trailer for The Romantics
God, why do we keep trusting computoids when their only concern is the preservation of precious circuitry? There's a new trailer for 9, Shane Acker's animated, post-apocalyptic adventure, and this one goes into the film's backstory--what circumstances led to human extinction, leaving soul-infused ragdolls as the primary form of life. As expected, fucking robots were involved. And you just know this guy was leading the charge against us.
The trailer:
Shane Acker's dialogue-free 2005 film, 9, was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Animated Short (hey, here it is). Hollywood couldn't help but notice how charming and marketable the post-apocalyptic ragdoll stars were, and was like, "Alright, Shane, how about you make this into a feature film? One thing though: maybe to 'punch it up' a bit, add dialogue, and have that dialogue be read by notable celebrities. And make the lead character a puppy that wears sunglasses."
Here's the trailer:
Elijah Wood has sent shockwaves through the geek community with the comment that, according to an email from Peter Jackson, while the first of two planned Hobbit will cover the book, the second will serve as a bridge between that and Lord of the Rings.
I haven’t spoken to him directly about it [but] I’ve e-mailed him, and as far as I know the two films that they’re doing, one will be ‘The Hobbit’ and another will take place between the 60 years that happened between ‘The Hobbit’ and ‘The Lord of the Rings.'
The problem with this? That aside from some brief mentions of a few events that occur in the interim period, there is no actual information as to what happened between The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, meaning any film covering that span would basically be glorified fan-fiction (minus the standard fan-fic inclusion of furry erotica).
For once, can't we just be happy with what we have, and not try to bleed every bit of life out of this? If there were a story meant to be told between books, I'm sure Tolkien would have written it. Let's just make a televised Hobbit Holiday Special and call it a day. Or at least leave in the furry erotica.
I'm going to try doing a new thing where every morning there's a new movie poster, hereby referred to as the AM Poster Post. We'll cross the "no new posters" bridge when we get there.
Today's poster is for The Oxford Murders, in which a professor (John Hurt) and graduate student (Elijah Wood) attempt to stop a series of murders connected to mathematical symbols. Looking at the poster, what is this, first period algebra? See, because there's blood on the chalkboard, and a woman's periods typically... never mind.
The Oxfurd Murders Poster [IMPA]
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I Watch Stuff is a movie and video blog dedicated to bringing you the best and worst that Hollywood and the Internet have to offer and then, more often than not, making fun of it because it sucks.
