And this weekend's box office results were...
Same as last week. Sorry, no change. Still the dog one, the Sandler one, Ben Button, Get Hitler!, and Liar Liar. I'll get back to you if society ever decides there is a better movie than Marley & Me (unlikely--it's one of our best movies).
And the movies you spent Grandma's Christmas tenner on were:
1. Marley and Me - $37 million, over $14 million of that coming from Christmas Day, giving the film the second largest Christmas opening ever. So I'm thinking, if I strung together a bunch of YouTube clips and call it Dogs Doing Things, would that make $100 million opening night or would it take the weekend?
2. Bedtime Stories - $28.1 million. Some people mean it when they say, "I will watch absolutely anything for a couple hours so long as I won't have to talk to my visiting relatives."
3. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - $27 million. I guess curiosity really did kill the cat. That doesn't really apply here, but great curiosity-based saying nonetheless.
4. Valkyrie - $21.5 million. Tom Cruise just doesn't have the same box office power he did before he got so odd. Wearing an eye-patch throughout a movie? That's WEIRD.
5. Yes Man - $16.5 million. Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler both have top comedies. The '90s are back, but somehow I'm less entertained than when I had a driving learner's permit.
I'm sorry, Bedtime Stories, but this poster asks a more dire question than "what if the stories you told came to life?" How about "what if the stories you told came to life, and for some reason all involved various historical interpretations of Adam Sandler?" Then what? Forget that your stories are coming to life; why do all of your stories involve Chariot Driver Adam Sandler, or Cowboy Adam Sandler, or Knight Adam Sandler? What is wrong with your brain that you would think such things? And now, since you kept telling those Adam Sandler stories, and because they keep coming to life, you've brought like ten or twenty Adam Sandlers into our world, and now we've had to stop production on every other movie we were making just to devote all of our resources to making enough bland comedies to provide roles for all these Sandlers, and someone else who has the power to bring stories to life (Brendan Fraser?) has had to start telling equivalent Rob Schneider stories just so that there are enough Rob Schneiders to have minor supporting roles in all these Adam Sandler movies. That's the movie I want to see.
Bedtimes Stories Poster [IMPA]
Here's the trailer for the new Adam Sandler movie in which a pair of reckless child-gods impose their will upon humanity. At the children's mere mention, puerile whims--like the desire for gumballs to rain from the heavens, without regard to logic, safety, or how much it seems like a Sony Bravia commercial--are met without question. Uncontrollable juvenile omnipotence always makes for such great family comedy.
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