I Watch Stuff - The Best Movie News Ever http://www.iwatchstuff.com/ en Copyright 2008 Fri, 09 May 2008 17:19:39 -0500 http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/ http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss 'Clone Wars' Trailer: Star Wars LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE star-wars-clone-wars-c3po.jpg I've seen a stylized animated version of The Clone Wars; I've seen countless 3-D animated sequences in the Star Wars films. So I really have no idea what this trailer is referencing when it says, "Prepare to see Star Wars like you've never seen it before." How is this like I've never seen it before? That it lazily merges two ways I've already seen it before? That watching it is a joyless exercise in stretching my childhood nostalgia to its limits? That any mild excitement it creates is only a pavlovian response to hearing the hum of a lightsaber? None of that is a new way to experience Star Wars. In fact, that's sort of become the standard. Star Wars: The Clone Wars Trailer [Yahoo!]]]> http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/clone_wars_trailer_star_wars_l.php http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/clone_wars_trailer_star_wars_l.php adventure movie sci-fi star wars: the clone wars trailer Fri, 09 May 2008 17:19:39 -0500 'Iron Sky' Teaser Trailer Finally Portrays Nazis as Villains iron-sky-teaser.jpg "In 1945 the Nazis fled to the moon. In 2018 they are coming back." What more do you want in a description? Venture below the cut for the trailer--made by the creators of Star Wreck, I'm told, though I have no idea what that means.]]> http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/iron_sky_teaser_trailer_finall.php http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/iron_sky_teaser_trailer_finall.php Fri, 09 May 2008 16:03:03 -0500 Watch: First Seven Minutes of 'Speed Racer' speed-racer-seven-minutes.jpg 0-:30 - Help! I'm trapped in a sponsored kaleidoscope! Phew, I'm out. Apparently that was just the portal to a Nickelodeon locker room. :30-4:00 - The constant rhythmic movements, the paralyzing hallucinations, the guttural outbursts, the insane scribblings, the Asperger-level singular obsession mixed with complete social disregard: it's abundantly clear that childhood Speed has some serious mental issues to overcome. I can't wait to see how they address such crippling psychoses in a family movie. 4:00-end - Never mind. I guess we're going to ignore all that in favor of a sneak peek of Nintendo's upcoming F-Zero Played on the Wario's Coliseum Mario Kart Course.]]> http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/watch_first_seven_minutes_of_s.php http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/watch_first_seven_minutes_of_s.php action clip emile hirsch family movie speed racer sports susan sarandon wachowskis Fri, 09 May 2008 15:38:36 -0500 Ugh, New 'Kung Fu Panda' Trailer kung-fu-panda-trailer-2.jpg The best trailer for WALL-E yet. Kung Fu Panda Trailer 2 [Yahoo!]]]> http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/ugh_new_kung_fu_panda_trailer.php http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/ugh_new_kung_fu_panda_trailer.php animation comedy dreamworks family jack black Kung Fu Panda martial arts movie Fri, 09 May 2008 14:26:37 -0500 Main Themes of 'Anna Nicole' Biopic Demonstrated anna-nicole-smith-themes.jpg As far as I know, that ill-conceived, low-budget Anna Nicole Smith biopic I mentioned a few months ago never came out. But I did just find out that, like so many hotly-anticipated cinema events, it's been leaked online! The news gave me a moment of excitement that quickly passed as I realized I would never watch that. There's no way to justify spending watching two hours of Anna Nicole Smith's actual life, let alone a flimsy recreation, no matter how comedically disastrous it might be. But I suppose if someone were to break it down into a seven-and-a-half minute dissection of the main themes (Anna had titties; Anna was curious; Anna thought she looked like Marilyn Monroe; Anna=Anna, Anna genuinely loved that old, rich guy played by George Costanza's boss at the Yankees; Anna really loved pills and booze; Anna really, really loved coffee; Anna was friggin' fat; and Anna returned from the dead to narrate her own biopic), that I might be able to rationalize. Oh, good. Someone did. Warning: if you plan to watch the full length version, you may want to avoid this preview, as it could be a spoiler that the ghost of Anna Nicole Smith drives away with her ghost son.]]> http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/main_themes_of_anna_nicole_bio.php http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/main_themes_of_anna_nicole_bio.php anna nicole smith biopic clip Fri, 09 May 2008 13:46:30 -0500 'August' Poster Willing to Make Bumper Sticker-Level Commentary august-poster-hartnett.jpg It's hard to read at this size, but the tagline reads "comes before the fall," referring to the plot in which two brothers struggle to keep their Wall Street company going in August 2001, a month before 9/11. It replaced the original tagline--one more appropriate for the poster--"God, Josh Hartnett is really cool isn't he? I mean, seriously, just look at him. So cool. So cool." August Poster [IMPA]]]> http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/august_poster_willing_to_make.php http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/august_poster_willing_to_make.php august drama josh hartnett movie poster Fri, 09 May 2008 12:14:33 -0500 'Igor' Trailer Proves Resistant to Cusack's Charms igor-trailer-cusack.jpg Usually it's easy to root for underdog John Cusack. But will it be so easy if his voice is hidden behind the image of a hunchbacked David Gest? Not so much; particularly when the film's decent premise (a stock mad scientist sidekick--an "igor"--tries to make it on his own) is hidden by just as grotesque a facade: archetypical Disney-esque jokes and characters. Sidekicks are just so wacky, ya know?]]> http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/igor_trailer_proves_resistant.php http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/igor_trailer_proves_resistant.php animation comedy family john cusack movie trailer Thu, 08 May 2008 18:41:32 -0500 'Bigger, Stronger, Faster*' Poster Lacks References to Daft Punk bigger-stronger-faster-post.jpg Alright, Bigger, Stronger, Faster*. If you want to blatantly call out Barry Bonds, Marion Jones, Shane Mosley (I guess?) clearly Sylvester Stallone, or Arnold Schwartzenegger on steroid use, you go right ahead. But the Hulkster? Come on. If hosting unbalanced competitions between spandex-clad men and occasionally groping your daughter can't redeem you in the public eye, what can, I ask you? What can? Bigger, Stronger, Faster* Poster [IMPA]]]> http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/bigger_stronger_faster_poster.php http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/bigger_stronger_faster_poster.php bigger stronger faster documentary movie poster Thu, 08 May 2008 18:15:14 -0500 First Look at Newest Comedy Masterpiece, 'Goody Two Shoes' goody-two-shoes-kardashian.jpg As we sit idly by, waiting for the world to improve itself, the know the writing/directing/side-splitting team of Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg (the Meet the Spartans guys!) are hard at work on yet another excuse for Carmen Electra to consider herself a "comedienne". But outside of the predicative spoofs they've already stated (in which entire parodies will be based on some trailers), and that the framework will be built around Superbad, we barely know what pre-existing material will be referenced as jokes in the next Seltzer/Friedberg laff-fest. How do we know what material to study, so that when a man in a giant flower of a dress stumbles into a manhole, we can say, "I think that was meant to be the Sex and the City lady randomly dying"? Oh well. At least with this on-set shot from their latest, Goodie Two Shoes, we can start taking guesses. Looks like we've got a parody of Juno (hah!--she totally did look sort of like that), a parody of celebrity, and an exploration into how funny it would be if Jonah Hill were black? Am I missing any? Oscar Bound! [Faded Youth]]]> http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/first_look_at_newest_comedy_ma.php http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/first_look_at_newest_comedy_ma.php aaron seltzer comedy goody two shoes image jason friedberg kim kardashian movie parody Thu, 08 May 2008 17:15:45 -0500 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' Crystal Skulls Explained indiana-jones-group-cave.jpg The press kit for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has been released, including 27 new images and a lengthy, unnecessary backstory for the fabled CRYSTAL SKULLS! In short, they're a plot device in a very specific archaeological erotic novel:
When she first touched the artifact, Anna reported experiencing strange sensations. And any time she placed the skull near her bed at night, she reported vivid dreams of the Mayan Indians who had lived thousands of years ago, and of their everyday life and ritual sacrifices.
Read the full "History Behind the Mystery," as Paramount is referring to it, under the cut.]]> http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/indiana_jones_and_the_kingdom_1.php http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/indiana_jones_and_the_kingdom_1.php indiana jones movie news Thu, 08 May 2008 16:09:12 -0500 Look at All These New 'G.I. Joe' Characters! gi-joe-breaker.jpg Like a breeze of pollen spreading its offensive seeds across the landscape, a new batch of G.I. Joe character shots have turned up around the web, and they're already causing a harsh reaction from my distorted-nostalgia allergy. Each shot originally appeared on a different site, but I've helpfully assembled them here for easier viewing (with the aid of Cinematical already doing so). Truth be told, my memories of the specifics of these characters have faded, so I've made up character names and summaries rather than look anything up. I hope that works for everyone.]]> http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/look_at_all_these_new_gi_joe_c.php http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/look_at_all_these_new_gi_joe_c.php Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje Byung-hun Lee chris eccleston dennis quaid G.I. Joe image movie Said Taghmaoui Sienna Miller war Thu, 08 May 2008 14:15:49 -0500 'Green Porno' is Best Garden Sex Series I've Ever Seen green-porno-rossellini-fly.jpg Time to update my records: amputee beer baroness whose legs have been replaced by glass beer canisters is no longer my favorite absurd Isabella Rossellini role. Since the release of Sundance's Green Porno yesterday, that coveted award is now a toss-up between sadomasochist hermaphroditic snail and bang-happy fly. The series of shorts is a look at the world of insect sexuality, with Rossellini donning the costume of various bugs as she bluntly explains the means by which each species would procreate. Besides being an entertaining, informative lesson on how bugs get it on, it's also, more valuably, a perfect example of how "edutainment" can work. Namely, if it's done as an anus-obsessed, Michel Gondry-inspired, entomological porno. Watch all eight of them here. I think the snail one is my favorite, but only because the spider one is too reminiscent of things I've seen on the subway.]]> http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/green_porno_is_best_garden_sex.php http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/green_porno_is_best_garden_sex.php comedy green porno isabella rossellini romance short sundance Thu, 08 May 2008 12:29:17 -0500 First Impressions: Josh Brolin as 'W' w-josh-brolin.jpg The only thing stranger than watching Josh Brolin do a two-hour impression of Will Ferrell doing an impression of George W. Bush (or possibly of an old, nondescript man toiling through a lemon) will be watching Jason Sudeikis doing an impression of Josh Brolin's impression for the SNL parody. Why not just get the guy from Harold and Kumar, and stop pretending the line between impression and acting-tribute is so distinct? The EW cover that also includes Elizabeth Banks as Laura Bush-impression is below the cut.]]> http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/josh_brolin_doing_his_first_im.php http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/josh_brolin_doing_his_first_im.php biopic elizabeth banks image josh brolin movie oliver stone w Thu, 08 May 2008 10:54:55 -0500 'The Rocker' Trailer: Better Than Watching an Old Man Being Carted Off by Paramedics rocker-trailer-wilson.jpg Being a blogger allows one a lot of luxuries you don't get when you have to go into an office. You can stay in your pajamas as long as you want; play loud and/or obnoxious music; work anywhere with an internet connection; and, when the occasion calls for it, you can watch half an episode of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood while you eat a bowl of Kashi, like I did yesterday. Since most of you probably weren't afforded this extravagance, let me give you a brief synopsis: Mr. Rogers visited a couple of EMTs. A firm believer in "show, don't tell," Rogers was placed in a neck brace, strapped to a gurney (he was first instructed to "hug himself," to give more of the illusion of a corpse), and thrown in the back of an ambulance--just like he really broke his neck! The entire time, a huge grin was spread across his face, as he asked questions like, "Do you have something smaller to strap a kid into?" (They did.) As is probably apparent, it was utterly terrifying--particularly when they actually brought out the child-size straps and showed how they'd velcro in a kid's limp head. But, as Fred would later explain, the point was never to give children (or me) nightmares of a dead Mr. Rogers, the sheet slowly being drawn over his permanent grin; he just wanted to prepare us in case we break our neck. Similarly, I now present you with the trailer to The Rocker, starring The Office's Rainn Wilson, Jeff Garlin, Will Arnett and some other funny, talented people. I show you this not because it's so worth watching, but because it looks very mediocre-at-best, and it's better you know that now than to feel the shocking disappointment in theaters. I assure you, it's much less scarring than the Fred Rogers death simulation I watched yesterday. 'The Rocker' Trailer [Yahoo!]]]> http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/the_rocker_trailer_better_than.php http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/the_rocker_trailer_better_than.php comedy jason sudeikis jeff garlin movie rainn wilson the rocker trailer will arnett Wed, 07 May 2008 17:44:12 -0500 New 'Love Guru' Trailer: Midgets, Various Funny Hair Still Prominent Themes love-guru-myers-trailer.jpg You've probably heard racist jokes about how the Chinese drop silverware to name their children, or have hilarious penis-length-implication names like Long Wang (if not, now you have, and you should try to meet more racists). But you don't know the whole story. Mike Myers has some startling new racial naming evidence: it turns out Indians have funny names too! As the new Love Guru trailer shows, his Guru Pitka character was born in the town of--wait till you hear this--Harenmahkeester. Harenmahkeester! Like "hair on my keester"! Butt hair! Also proved funny: midgets, adult heads on child bodies (someone else has also just realized this), midgets, cross-eyes, and midgets.]]> http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/new_love_guru_trailer_midgets.php http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2008/05/new_love_guru_trailer_midgets.php ben kingsley comedy jessica alba love guru mike myers movie trailer Wed, 07 May 2008 16:48:41 -0500