I Watch Stuff - The Best Movie News Ever

Is T. Game The New Mr. T?

2009-07-02T21:38:02Z

The Game, who young street toughs tell me is one of those rapper men, as Mr. T? BlackFilm says maybe:

While casting is underway for the big screen adaptation on the long running TV series, 'The A-Team,' Blackfilm.com has exclusively learned that rapper The Game is being considered for the role of B.A Baracus, which was originated by Mr. T on the television show. Online buzz has it that the role was going to another rapper-turned-actor, Common, but with his recent casting opposite Queen Latifah in 'Just Right,' he may not finish filming before 'The A-Team' get rolling in August. Other possible candidates have included Ice Cube and mixed martial arts fighter Quinton "Rampage" Jackson.

Yikes, I don't know about that. Does this Game character have a racially diverse team of children who know the coolness potential of breakfast? Without that, one can never be T. Never.

'Arrested Development' Movie Trailer! ...For a Documentary About the Show

2009-07-02T20:08:50Z

Yeah, it's just a trailer for an Arrested Development documentary some fans are making, but since this the only AD movie that is not a thing of myth, it will have to do:]]> [This is where, if I had the ability, I would embed a short, upbeat ukulele ditty.] Thanks to: Andrew.

'Transmorphers: Fall of Man' Trailer: The Machines are Coming!

2009-07-02T19:17:46Z

At long last, the talent that brought us The Terminators (plural) has unveiled the follow-up to one of the most accidentally-rented-by-confused-parents movies of all time: trailer for Transmorphers 2: Fall of Man! As a warning, those already planning to purchase Transmorphers: Fall of Man may wish to avoid the trailer, as I think it kind of spoils what are probably the best scenes and lines. Going into the film already knowing that a satellite dish transmorphs into a narrow Terminator, and that something in the air gives a guy a suspicion that "the machines are coming," can only negatively affect my experience. Not to mention that the title already gives me a strong hunch that man may fall. But if you decide to watch, note this innovation: this may be the first trailer with an arbitrary modem intermission.]]> "Run as fast as you can"/"No" is just the kind of indisputably powerful exchange that more trailers need. That's raw trailer meat, and Asylum Entertainment knows just how to cook it. (Thanks, Brad.)

'Planet 51' Trailer: The Plot to 'E.T.' is on the Other Foot

2009-07-02T18:18:13Z

We've all seen E.T..* We know what happens when an alien accidentally finds itself stranded on Earth: a boy tends to him, the government tries to capture him, and then the audience cries. But what if that alien were MAN??? And instead of Earth, it were PLANET SHREK! What then? Basically the same thing, but with more broad comedy and generic characters:]]> Make sure to pay attention around the 2-minute point for the shot that reveals Astronaut and his robot making it safely back to their ship. *You have seen E.T., right? You should. It's really good.

'Asteroids': That's a Movie Now

2009-07-02T16:05:47Z

Solidifying the notion that film concepts are no longer so much actual ideas as much as notable words, the movie rights to Asteroids, the 1979 Atari game that consisted of absolutely nothing but a triangular ship shooting shapes that looked roughly like asteroids (and occasionally flying saucers), were just purchased by Universal after the studio won a four-studio bidding war. Yes, four studios were really eager to make an Asteroids movie. Because it's such a good idea for a movie. It was a big score for Universal, as they're the studio making films based on Battleship, Candy Land, and Monopoly, so they have a reputation to keep up for making old, plot-free games into retarded movies. They needed this. I can't help but think this is a mistake. Not the idea of making a movie based on a game of flying around shooting asteroids, but making a movie based on a game of flying around shooting asteroids that isn't Sinistar. At least then you've got an extremely antagonistic villain:]]> Too much of a COWARD, Universal?

Bruce Willis Being Bruce Willisy in 'Surrogates' Poster

2009-07-02T15:45:52Z

Bruce Willis-with-goatee is being concerned in a tube while, below him, Bruce Willis-sans-goatee action figures are manufactured. That's Surrogates. I guess. Exclusive Surrogates One-Sheet! [Coming Soon]

'Couples Retreat' Trailer: Marriage! You Know What I'm Sayin'?

2009-07-01T20:37:04Z

I can still remember my friend, the one with the "Vegas, Baby, Vegas!" poster positioned proudly above his bed, rushing into my dorm room some time in 2001 to announce the existence of Jon Favreau's Made: "Dude, it's like Swingers, but with gangster shit!" Though the film would later prove itself less mind-blowing that I'd hoped, the idea of any sort of Swingers continuation was pretty great at that point in my life. It wasn't a Star Wars prequel, but it was something. So today, let me be your college friend announcing the next somewhat disappointing pseudo-sequel to Swingers, Couples Retreat: Dudes, it's like Swingers! Except now they're middle-aged and in depressing, loveless marriages filled with countless infidelities! And they're friends with Jason Bateman:]]> I feel like this is sort of tailored for married couples, but also the kind of thing that, if I were married, I would never want to watch with my spouse. Like how when I was a kid, I hated being with my family and watching that episode of Roseanne where DJ's constant use of the bathroom led the family to suspect him of masturbating. A viewing experience is never that enjoyable when the content makes you fearful of being suspected of something.

'Avatar': Half a Cat-Eyed, Space-Faced Alien Head Revealed!

2009-07-01T19:46:30Z

Put on your 3-D glasses (everything James Cameron does is in 3-D now) and behold the sparkly, blue face of one of the aliens in Avatar. The species looks a lot more weird-obnoxious-performance-artist-who-would-probably-be-found-on-stilts-at-Burning-Man-mixed-with-Ron-Perlman-in-Beauty and the Beast-in-Blue Man Group-esque than I thought they would. Thoughts? Avatar Comic-Con Banner Revealed! [Coming Soon]

'Five Minutes of Heaven' Looks Nearly as Good as 'Rotate the Bottle'

2009-07-01T18:31:58Z

I don't actually know what Five Minutes of Heaven movie is about, but my keen observation and logic tells me it's about Liam Neeson and James Nesbitt facing the fact that they once got drunk at a high school party and ended up making out in a closet for a few minutes, and then the rest of the film is basically Taken. Even if that's not the plot, in this case, I'm fine with being wrong. 'Five Minutes of Heaven' Poster [IMPA]

'Let the Right One In' Remake Won't Actually Be 'Twilight', If That Was Your Concern

2009-07-01T17:45:48Z

You know how it goes: a foreign movie gets some mainstream appeal, next thing you know a Hollywood executive is planning a sleeker version with actors who say things in English. Dubious improvements must be made; subtitles will not be tolerated. Progress. One of the latest victims: the Swedish pre-teen vampire sensation Let the Right One In, a film Cloverfield director Matt Reeves has been working on re-writing since early last year. He's currently shooting for a fall 2010 release date, and spoke to the LA Times about the project, squelching fears of Twilight-ization I hadn't even thought to have yet:

"I was just hooked," Reeves recalled recently. "I was so taken with the story and I had a very personal reaction. It reminded me a lot of my childhood, with the metaphor that the hard times of your pre-adolescent, early adolescent moment, that painful experience is a horror." Reeves is also working with casting director Avy Kaufman -- who previously found kids for "The Sixth Sense" and "The Ice Storm" -- to find the two leads, which Reeves vows will not be aged-up to make the film more of a smoldering "Twilight"-style romance. "There's definitely people who have a real bull's-eye on the film," Reeves said, "and I can understand because of people's' love of the [original] film that there's this cynicism that I'll come in and trash it, when in fact I have nothing but respect for the film. I'm so drawn to it for personal and not mercenary reasons, my feeling about it is if I didn't feel a personal connection and feel it could be its own film, I wouldn't be doing it. I hope people give us a chance."

The article also notes the US version's new, more specific title, Let Me In, which I think is probably a good change. We all know the majority of American audiences don't want to think about things too much. No reason to concern them with determining who the "right one" to let in is. Just lay it all on the table: it's me, guys. Let ME in. (Thanks, Ashleigh.)

'The Informant' Trailer: See Matt Damon Bumble in a Mustache

2009-07-01T16:22:40Z

Ever wanted to see Matt Damon's Ocean's Eleven character, incognito in one of his famous disguises, in a movie about a high-level executive-turned-whistle blower? Good, because you'll love Steven Soderbergh's new comedy The Informant, which appears to be pretty much that. Judging by the trailer, large sections of the script must read "Matt Damon once again makes it blatantly obvious that he is recording conversations":]]> Buster, Quantum Leap, and The Soup all in one movie? It's like an Ocean's for people who like semi-cult television!

'Santa Buddies' Trailer: Sports Enthusiast Dogs on the Hunt for Dog Santa!

2009-07-01T14:51:20Z

Air Bud's speech-capable, eternally-youthful stereotype-based scions are back for another adventure, and this time they're straying even farther from the innate athleticism that made their family such a popular target for dognappers. This time they're on the search for Santa Paws! Yes, "Paws"! The Santa Claus that has paws! Because it's a dog! I'm not really sure if this concept is more or less absurd than when the talking puppies went to space:]]> I really wish they'd make more Air Buds before moving on with the sub-par Buddies series. Bud has so many sports he has yet to show an preternatural talent for. At this rate, we'll never get to Air Bud: Stanley Pup (hockey), Air Bud: Parallel Barks (gymnastics), or Air Bud: En Garde Dog (fencing). (Thanks for the tip, Andrea. You've clearly seen my Netflix queue.)

Madness From Japan: 'RoboGeisha'

2009-06-30T20:48:05Z

It's basically RoboCop, except the robot is a geisha, the narrator is Japanese Satan, and every moment is complete insanity:]]> I'm glad that the building-man attacking the standard buildings causes them to spurt blood. So many American films that include building destruction forget that detail, and the film suffers. Now could someone tell me why the soundtrack is intermittently "Live and Let Die"? That's my only question. Everything else made sense. (Thanks, dirkdboogie.) It’s the ROBOGEISHA Trailer! [Twitch]

'Alvin and the Chipmunks 2' Teaser: The Chipmunks Really Want to Eff Themselves in Drag

2009-06-30T19:20:19Z

When Alvin and his cronies unexpectedly run across their female counterparts--mirror images of themselves wearing ineffective skirts--the boys naturally get pretty turned on...]]>

American Werewolf Planning Another London Vacation

2009-06-30T18:19:08Z

With all the effort being put into transitioning the vampire mythos into something less coffin and tuxedo-y, more in-line with selling Tiger Beat magazines, it's about time for someone to get to work on making some shitty werewolf-centric movies too. Thankfully, CGI wolfmen are en route! Dimension films, the studio currently at work promoting their second Rob Zombie Halloween Special, has purchased the remake rights to the genre classic An American Werewolf in London. I guess they're pretty serious about getting the remake off the ground, because there's already a teaser:]]> Looks better than I thought it would.