April 12, 2006
Worried that X-Men 3 will be flat? Dull? Not so, says this picture. These are multi-layered characters, with interesting idiosyncrasies, it cries. Beast doesn't just sit like a person to read--he hangs upside-down! This movie is practically a Garden State, these characters are so quirky!
What's strangest to me about this picture is how showing it to people didn't freak them out, but God forbid if they walk in on me hanging upside-down, they sure freak the hell out. Haven't you heard how hanging like that can extend your life? Is it so weird? Was it just because I was naked and smelling that baggy of pubic hair I bought on a street in Calcutta? I can stop that part.
If you're like me, when Katie Couric announced she would be leaving the Today Show, there were a few days where you didn't eat, woke up in cold sweats, yelled at dogs, and prayed, above all else, that you wouldn't lose the rest of the team that, between live Amy Grant performances and specials on what-to-wear, occasionally reported news. Well, worry no longer, folks. Matt Lauer has agreed to a contract extension to keep him at the desk for at least another five years. Meaning five more spectacular years of "Where in the World is Matt Lauer?" and "I'm Going Bald So I'll Get a Buzzcut." Thank God. I'm not me without an hour of Lauer each morning.
Earlier last week, it was announced Meredith Vieiera would be taking over for Couric, opening a spot on The View for Star Jones to expand into. She's like a goldfish.
The newest picture from X-Men: The Last Stand gives us the first look at the mutant Multiple Man, who, as the picture implies, is able to replicate himself. Nothing too shocking has been done with the look of the character, but I have a feeling fans will be surprised by the content of this pivotal scene:
Multiple Man: Hey, Mystique! I'm gonna need this many guys to get up on that big ol' ass of yours!
End of film.
From the movie, based on the best-selling novel Way of the Peaceful Warrior, comes the trailer for Peaceful Warrior. And believe me, you're probably going to want to see this more than committing to either of the prior tasks. From what I could gather, the plot is as follows: After a career-ending motorcycle accident, a popular male gymnast, with the help of a 100-year-old Nick Nolte, learns that there's more to the world of competitive gymnastics than the partying, popularity, and success with women. There's also all the embarrassing, kind of gay parts, that you have to try to hide. Like wearing little spandex leotards and flipping around on mats with some other guys.
Just when I was starting to think maybe I'd check out Mission: Impossible III, the makers have shown me a reason not to: a "laugh reel." While I'm sure the idea of a "laugh reel" sounded great while it was being extracted from Dick Clark's dying brain, seeing writer/director J.J. Abrams acting like someone from the Friars Club while Tom Cruise laughs like an idiot makes me realize that I'd never want to see anything either of the two have produced. Besides in ten years, when I'll want to see Cruise's kid being brought down from a clock tower, where he's been picking people off with a rifle for just under an hour.
Since no one at all is getting sick of "psychological thrillers" (they're like horror but with less monsters and breasts, but more serial killers), they've gone ahead and made a trailer to promote another one. Zodiac tells the semi-true of the Zodiac Killer and a father and son who become obsessed with finding him. I'm convinced it will do for the psychological thriller genre what Sanford and Son did for the junk store dealer genre, in that they both have fathers and sons. Since the Zodiac Killer was known for his complex codes, I thought I'd try my hand at the same. It LoOkS TeRribLe!