April 28, 2006

The Assassination of Jesse James Trailer

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If you can stop yourself from reading about Brangelina for two minutes, you can catch the first half of the clever name fusion starring in the teaser trailer for The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. While you'll get a sense of the feel of the film, don't expect to hear any lines from the man himself. The teaser bravely avoids any speaking parts from the actor, relying entirely on his star power and his signature icy stare of a child molester.

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Previous Entries

Pathfinder Trailer

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If you wanted The Jungle Book to be more like Conan the Barbarian, you're in luck. Take a look at the trailer for the action/adventure Pathfinder, the story of a young Viking boy, accidentally abandoned in a raid against the Native Americans, who is then raised as one of their own. When the native village is destroyed in a Viking raid, the adopted Norseman, now an adult, rises up with his surrogate family to fight the Viking menace, finally ending the long-standing bar argument of who would beat who in a fight, Vikings or Native Americans. And the winner is Joe Weinberg, who successfully predicted, "Fine, maybe Native Americans, but only if they've got at least one Viking on their side."

Geeks hoping this would be a Pathfinder film based on the Mars rover will have to continue their Lego version if they hope to see such a thing.

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Strangers with Candy Trailer

With ThinkFilm buying the rights to the prequel to the Comedy Central series of the same name, Strangers with Candy, the film will hopefully be released this summer. To tide you over until then, here's the trailer to the film on YouTube. Thanks to YouTube's handy "tag" feature, that allows videos to be searched by set keywords, who knows what else I'll find next time I search for "gay stranger cult." Hopefully, what I was trying to find this time.

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Wordplay Trailer

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If a film will ever reinvigorate the boring, brainy genre of the documentary, bringing it to the common people, it must surely be this, an in-depth look at The New York Times crossword puzzle. Featuring interviews with Jon Stewart, Bill Clinton, Bob Dole, Ken Burns, and New York Times crossword editor Will Shortz, Wordplay examines the phenomenon of the crossword puzzle, its presence in the famous paper, and the strange and unique fan base it has created. It looks to be the perfect distraction between knitting, playing Sudoku, and not receiving telephone calls.

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Hulk 2 Villain is Abomination

hulk-2-abomination.jpgSpeaking on the future of Marvel Studios, chief executive Avi Arad revealed that the villain for the sequel to The Hulk will be the big, green, Yugoslavian counterpart to the transforming hero, the Abomination.

"Our Hulk," Arad says, "will be a diet Hulk. Lighter. Focusing on the love story, Hulk as hero, and his battle with the villain." For that villain, Arad has chosen one of his favorite baddies: Abomination, a former Yugoslav spy who has mutated into a 980-pound freak of terrifying strength and unpleasant demeanor.

Using another green, gamma-radiated behemoth as the villain to the Hulk seems like a good idea to me. The two nearly evenly balanced creatures should make for an intense on-screen encounter. It's the same concept that makes lesbian pornography--again, two perfectly matched specimens engaged with each other--so much better than other pornography genres: no penises.

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Marie-Antoinette French Trailer

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The French get it all-- the Eiffel Tower, American animosity, and now a new trailer for Sofia Coppola's Maria-Antoinette. As confident as I am in the director's work, I'm still not sure about this semi-updated take on a period piece. I'd say it's innovative for mixing 80's music with costume pageantry, but Boy George has been doing it for years. Plus, he dribbles paint on his head.

The real surprise of the trailer is how good Kirsten Dunst's bare ass looks. I guess I was using her teeth as a standard.

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