April 13, 2006
New Shots from Superman Returns
Warner Brothers has released some new images from the hotly anticipated Superman Returns. I've heard that all art is either vaginal or phallic, and there's never been a better example than here. The deep, vertical hole Luthor approaches through is clearly vaginal, reminiscent of the anatomy of the female, while the shot of Brandon Routh as Clark Kent is obviously phallic, since he looks like kind of a dick running around in a vest like that.
Large versions and one more after the jump.
Previous Entries
New Mission: Impossible III Art
The boys down at the studio have released the horizontal art for Mission: Impossible III. Since it's long, you can print it out and finally make that Tom Cruise belt you've been asking for. The one where he's sliding so hard that sparks are shooting out. See Cruise looking like a confused running robot on the bus shelter art under the cut. Or just wait to see it at the bus shelter. There's no shame in that.
District B13 Trailer
The French action flick District B13 is coming on June 2, so until then, watch this trailer for it. This movie is a good example of how America's policies differ from the French. To them, it's apparently completely appropriate to send two police officers in to stop a large gang that's acquired a nuclear warhead, while to us that's ridiculous. You only need one cop: Steven Segal. Have you heard the saying, too many cooks spoils the stew? The same goes for jumpkicks. Sure, Segal may dress like a matador, but when you're talking about a gang with nuclear weapons, there's only one guy to turn to. And while I won't say the movie needs Steven Segal to work, I will say that when the trailer ended, I felt a "ponytail emptiness" that I'd never experienced before.
Wonder Woman Casting Rumor: Nadia Bjorlin
The latest casting rumor regarding the hot superhero property Wonder Woman, is that Days of Our Lives soap star Nadia Bjorlin is up for the lead. For those that aren't familiar with her character, she's not the one who was possessed by the Devil, or the serial killer, or the one who looked just like a dead character, but was just facially reconstructed to look that way, but it turned out maybe was her after all, and it's not "Stefano." She's the other one.
Personally, I'm glad they're looking at a soap star to play the part. She'll really be able to nail the part when Wonder Woman's husband sleeps with her evil twin sister, who's really her dead kid in a costume.
X-Men: The Last Stand Features Beast Hanging
Worried that X-Men 3 will be flat? Dull? Not so, says this picture. These are multi-layered characters, with interesting idiosyncrasies, it cries. Beast doesn't just sit like a person to read--he hangs upside-down! This movie is practically a Garden State, these characters are so quirky!
What's strangest to me about this picture is how showing it to people didn't freak them out, but God forbid if they walk in on me hanging upside-down, they sure freak the hell out. Haven't you heard how hanging like that can extend your life? Is it so weird? Was it just because I was naked and smelling that baggy of pubic hair I bought on a street in Calcutta? I can stop that part.
The Today Show Keeps Matt Lauer
If you're like me, when Katie Couric announced she would be leaving the Today Show, there were a few days where you didn't eat, woke up in cold sweats, yelled at dogs, and prayed, above all else, that you wouldn't lose the rest of the team that, between live Amy Grant performances and specials on what-to-wear, occasionally reported news. Well, worry no longer, folks. Matt Lauer has agreed to a contract extension to keep him at the desk for at least another five years. Meaning five more spectacular years of "Where in the World is Matt Lauer?" and "I'm Going Bald So I'll Get a Buzzcut." Thank God. I'm not me without an hour of Lauer each morning.
Earlier last week, it was announced Meredith Vieiera would be taking over for Couric, opening a spot on The View for Star Jones to expand into. She's like a goldfish.
