April 13, 2006
District B13 Trailer
The French action flick District B13 is coming on June 2, so until then, watch this trailer for it. This movie is a good example of how America's policies differ from the French. To them, it's apparently completely appropriate to send two police officers in to stop a large gang that's acquired a nuclear warhead, while to us that's ridiculous. You only need one cop: Steven Segal. Have you heard the saying, too many cooks spoils the stew? The same goes for jumpkicks. Sure, Segal may dress like a matador, but when you're talking about a gang with nuclear weapons, there's only one guy to turn to. And while I won't say the movie needs Steven Segal to work, I will say that when the trailer ended, I felt a "ponytail emptiness" that I'd never experienced before.
Previous Entries
Wonder Woman Casting Rumor: Nadia Bjorlin
The latest casting rumor regarding the hot superhero property Wonder Woman, is that Days of Our Lives soap star Nadia Bjorlin is up for the lead. For those that aren't familiar with her character, she's not the one who was possessed by the Devil, or the serial killer, or the one who looked just like a dead character, but was just facially reconstructed to look that way, but it turned out maybe was her after all, and it's not "Stefano." She's the other one.
Personally, I'm glad they're looking at a soap star to play the part. She'll really be able to nail the part when Wonder Woman's husband sleeps with her evil twin sister, who's really her dead kid in a costume.
X-Men: The Last Stand Features Beast Hanging
Worried that X-Men 3 will be flat? Dull? Not so, says this picture. These are multi-layered characters, with interesting idiosyncrasies, it cries. Beast doesn't just sit like a person to read--he hangs upside-down! This movie is practically a Garden State, these characters are so quirky!
What's strangest to me about this picture is how showing it to people didn't freak them out, but God forbid if they walk in on me hanging upside-down, they sure freak the hell out. Haven't you heard how hanging like that can extend your life? Is it so weird? Was it just because I was naked and smelling that baggy of pubic hair I bought on a street in Calcutta? I can stop that part.
The Today Show Keeps Matt Lauer
If you're like me, when Katie Couric announced she would be leaving the Today Show, there were a few days where you didn't eat, woke up in cold sweats, yelled at dogs, and prayed, above all else, that you wouldn't lose the rest of the team that, between live Amy Grant performances and specials on what-to-wear, occasionally reported news. Well, worry no longer, folks. Matt Lauer has agreed to a contract extension to keep him at the desk for at least another five years. Meaning five more spectacular years of "Where in the World is Matt Lauer?" and "I'm Going Bald So I'll Get a Buzzcut." Thank God. I'm not me without an hour of Lauer each morning.
Earlier last week, it was announced Meredith Vieiera would be taking over for Couric, opening a spot on The View for Star Jones to expand into. She's like a goldfish.
Xmen: The Last Stand's Multiple Man Revealed
The newest picture from X-Men: The Last Stand gives us the first look at the mutant Multiple Man, who, as the picture implies, is able to replicate himself. Nothing too shocking has been done with the look of the character, but I have a feeling fans will be surprised by the content of this pivotal scene:
Multiple Man: Hey, Mystique! I'm gonna need this many guys to get up on that big ol' ass of yours!
Magneto: Shit!
End of film.
Peaceful Warrior Trailer
From the movie, based on the best-selling novel Way of the Peaceful Warrior, comes the trailer for Peaceful Warrior. And believe me, you're probably going to want to see this more than committing to either of the prior tasks. From what I could gather, the plot is as follows: After a career-ending motorcycle accident, a popular male gymnast, with the help of a 100-year-old Nick Nolte, learns that there's more to the world of competitive gymnastics than the partying, popularity, and success with women. There's also all the embarrassing, kind of gay parts, that you have to try to hide. Like wearing little spandex leotards and flipping around on mats with some other guys.
