March 17, 2006
Mission: Impossible III Trailer Online
The Mission: Impossible III trailer hit the Internet today, and boy is it a disappointment. The footage looked to be mostly shots already seen in the teaser and the Japanese trailer. But there's one thing that definitively sets this trailer apart from the Japanese one: this one's American. Watching this trailer is the new yellow ribbon magnet on the back of your mini-van; if you don't watch it, you're promoting terrorism. Trust me, Osama bin Laden does not want you seeing how awesome it is when an explosion slams super-agent Ethan Hunt into a parked car, shattering the windows. It's practically another downed building for every person that doesn't see how sweet it is when Philip Seymour Hoffman threatens to hurt Tom Cruise's wife/girlfriend. A U.S. troop is shot for every person that doesn't think it's cool when Cruise commands that some sports car is blown up at the push of a button. So, please, view this trailer. America is depending on it.
Or see Big Momma's House 2. She's twice the size, meaning twice the laughs!
Previous Entries
Poseidon Trailer Released
The folks at ComingSoon.net have done the courtesy of posting the trailer for Wolfgang Petersen's disaster-adventure Poseideon, in which the trapped passengers of ship try desperately to escape the sinking vessel. I don't want to give away too much of the plot, but I think I just gave away the entire plot. Except it's also got Richard Dreyfuss!
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift Trailer
For all those interested in either the fast or the furious, the trailer for The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift is now online. The film tells the story of a hot-headed American street racer forced to move to Tokyo with his father to avoid jail time. There, the racing underground is dominating by "drifting," in which the cars are light and the tires are slick, allowing the cars to slide around the streets making amazing turns. "Actor" Lil' Bowwow describes it this way: "If you ain't outta control, you ain't in control," which is much catchier than what I said, and the reason I consider him our generation's Confucius. In the end, it appears that, of course, the brash American wins both the race and the girl, stealing her from the previous "Drift King," and proving that the U.S. still thinks it can beat Japan at anything. Except math. They're still getting us there. And probably tentacle sex enthusiasm. But goddammit if I'm not trying for that one.
Cars Poster Has a Lot of Cars
Ain't It Cool News snagged the newest poster for Pixar's Cars, and quite frankly it scares me. Previous images of this movie looked pretty goofy and friendly, while this one appears to be some kind of violent car mob. If there were ever a "car revolt," this is the image that would be on the front page of the papers. Except they'd probably have torches and pitchforks and things, to look more mob-like. And maybe a few would have penises sticking out of their front bumper, just because I think that would be really terrifying when it's driving at you.
Benicio Del Toro to Play Wolf Man
To further the continuing chain of unnecessary Hollywood remakes, Universal has decided to update the Lon Chaney horror classic The Wolf Man, with Benicio Del Toro playing the title role.
Seven scribe Andrew Kevin Walker has begun writing the script. Scott Stuber, Rick Yorn, Mary Parent and Del Toro will produce. Like the 1941 original that starred Lon Chaney Jr., new pic will be set in Victorian England. Del Toro will play a man who returns from America to his ancestral homeland, gets bitten by a werewolf and begins a hairy moonlight existence.
To prepare himself for the role, Del Toro will continue looking like a creepy wolf man.
Penelope Gives Christina Ricci Pig Face
JustJared posted some pictures of Christina Ricci on the set of Penelope. In the new movie, Christina Ricci suffers a curse that gives her the face of a pig. Also, in real life.
