March 13, 2006
Little Man Trailer
I'm not sure how long this has been around, but somehow I'd missed that there's a trailer for the new Wayans Brothers film, Little Man. It's literally the worst thing I've ever seen. I hoped White Chicks would be the end of these guys. It seemed logical that a film where the running gag is that black guys are funny dressed as white girls would end a few careers. But somehow that's just given them carte blanche to make something even worse. Before watching this trailer, I challenge you to come up with the worst movie you could imagine, and I bet they topped you. My only catch is that you can't make your movie about a two-foot-tall criminal stealing a diamond and hiding it in a woman's purse, then posing as a child with an adult face so that he can live with her and her husband, having sex with her and beating up the husband, in the hopes of stealing it back. I can't tell you why, or it will ruin it.
Previous Entries
Hellboy 2 is Golden Army
Speaking to Sci-Fi Wire about the sequel to Hellboy, star Ron Perlman revealed some bits concerning the plot, as well as the working title, Hellboy 2: The Golden Army:
It's a compendium of a lot of elements that they were not able to address in the first one, because the first one was kind of a slave to the backstory and who Hellboy is, how we come to find him, etc., etc. Now they can kind of branch out a little bit and get funky with it and hit some of the other colors that existed in some of the other comic books.
I'm not sure what the title "The Golden Army" implies about the story, but if the similarly titled films in my DVD collection are any indication, it's probably about a urine fetish.
Tom Hanks and Son Playing Their Actual Relationship
Tom Hanks (Joe of Joe Versus the Volcano) and his son, King Kong's Colin Hanks, are set to play a father and son in the upcoming film The Great Buck Howard. Colin will play a young man who becomes a magician's assistant in the hopes of one take taking on the craft, while Tom plays his disapproving father. Kevin Kline is in talks to play the illusionist mentor. This might seem "safe," casting America's favorite actor and his son in the roles, but what makes it risky is that the father and son are constantly making out. Fine, they aren't.
Casino Royale Publicity Shots
A new batch of shots from the new Bond, Casino Royale, have been released here, including more of Daniel Craig as Bond, Judi Dench as M, and the one we've all been clamoring for: a woman in a bikini petting a horse (seriously).
Until these shots, I hadn't realized what a cretin Daniel Craig was. This is James Bond? Between his simian little ears, the low-hanging brow, and dumbfounded look, he looks genuinely de-evolved. The only way he can work in a Bond movie is if they make it in prehistoric caveman times with a Cro-Magnon Bond. And the best part still wouldn't be him, but when Q pulls out one of his amazing gadgets, and it's just fire, or a club, or a stone sharpened into a cutting tool, and we all laugh, because cavemen are stupid.
Pixar's Cars Trailer Online
After a big announcement, the trailer for Pixar's Cars has made its way online. I hadn't read a synopsis yet , so I'd been assuming from the racing footage I'd seen that it was about some race cars competing in a circuit, or something along those lines. It turns out it's about a big-city hot shot car having an accident in a country town, where he initially hates the small town mentality, but eventually questions his face-paced lifestyle when he falls for a beautiful, female resident.
Guess what Pixar? You made Doc Hollywood! That's right, the company that just yesterday I was praising for raising the bar for children's animation has now remade the semi-successful 1991 Michael J. Fox comedy, Doc Hollywood. And to think, I was worried about the footage I'd seen of Cars. If it's a "D.H." caliber movie, we should have nothing to worry about.
Classic Monty Python Interview Found
Some old footage of members of Monty Python doing an interview for a PBS affiliate has turned up after having been saved by an engineer for the studio, though a portion has now been taped over. Nothing amazing is revealed, but it's neat to see the boys in their prime, speaking on censorship, the origin of their name, and some other topics. The video lasts only about fourteen minutes and has been missing for over thirty years. "Sounds like your father," my mother whispered, then began sobbing into a pillow. I guess she was joking; my father has only been missing for twenty years.
Also, keep an eye out for the woman in the background who realizes how stupid she looks in the hat a couple minutes in, then start hamming it up. I'm looking to punch her.
