February 02, 2006
Roland Emmerich To Ruin History
Director Roland Emmerich's prehistoric epic, 10,000 BC, has been picked up by Warner after the studio passed on the successful The Day After Tomorrow. The film follows a young mammoth hunter at the dawn of modern man, and is expected to have a budget of over $100 million.
I really don't care what Emmerich does with this film, as long as he doesn't mess with the continuity of Raquel Welch's One Million Years B.C. It's been sort of my "caveman encyclopedia" for the last few years, so finding out it has inaccuracies would really negate a lot of arguments I've had about dinosaurs.
Previous Entries
Gervais Added To Museum
Ricky Gervais, co-creator and star of the British The Office, is the latest addition to the cast of the Ben Stiller comedy Night at the Museum. He will play the uptight museum director, joining Carla Gugino, Kim Raver, Robin Williams, Mickey Rooney and Dick Van Dyke in the film.
The role is a returned favor to Stiller, who appeared in Gervais's Extras last season, while Dick Van Dyke's appearance is an apology to God for making Diagnosis Murder.
Britney Spears on Will & Grace
NBC announced yesterday that Britney Spears will guest star on Will & Grace and play a Christian conservative sidekick to Sean Hayes' character, Jack. The episode will premiere on April 13 which, ironically, is the same date I'll be stabbing myself in the eyes. Coincidence? You be the judge.
Scary Movie 4 Trailer
Yahoo! has the new trailer for Scary Movie 4 and it looks like the typical stuff you've come to expect from movie spoofs. It's nice to see they decided to include Dr. Phil and Shaq though, because I don't think the movie was a big enough joke as it already is. Maybe for Scary Movie 5 they can cast Vanilla Ice and the guy from those Gazelle infomercials.
Coens Back to Bloody Stuff
Production is set to begin in May on The Coen Brothers' next project, an adaptation of the novel "No County for Old Men." From the description, it sounds like the film will be a return to the noir genre the duo has become best known for:
In the brothers' script Llewelyn Moss, hunting antelope near the Rio Grande, instead finds men shot dead, a lot of heroin, and more than $2 million in cash. But only after two more men are murdered does a victim's burning car lead Sheriff Bell to the carnage out in the desert, and he soon realizes how desperately Moss and his young wife need protection. One party in the failed transaction hires an ex-Special Forces officer to defend his interests against a mesmerizing freelancer, while on either side are men accustomed to spectacular violence and mayhem.
What I like about this concept is that it's very relatable. Hunting antelope, we've all been there. Finding some dead men, a lot of heroin, $2 million, right on. Some burning cars, an ex-Special Forces officer, all makes sense. If we can get someone to shoot Steve Buscemi, I think we've got ourselves a hell of a picture.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith Coming to Television
ABC has ordered a television pilot based on last summer's box office hit, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, in which a bored married couple learns they're both deadly assassins when they're hired to kill each other. Doug Liman, director of the film version, will shoot the episode if his schedule allows. Sometimes a film begs for a television version, but this isn't one of those times. How many times can a married couple learn they're both deadly agents?
"You're a deadly agent, Mrs. Smith? Oh, that's right. I think I remember that yesterday when you kept trying to kill me."
"Men never listen!" says Mrs. Smith with a shrug. The audience roars with laughter and applause, knowing it's true.
Also, no matter who they cast, they're clearly going to be uglier than Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Do they think I'll drink diet once they've given me regular?*
*I won't.
