February 07, 2006
Neopets: The Movie
Warner Bros. has commissioned Rob Lieber to write a script based on NeoPets, which is to be made into an all CG animated film.
Producers are keeping the concept and logline for the NeoPets project under tight wraps. Created in 1991, NeoPets is tracked by millions of kids who log on to take care of their own virtual pets, as well as follow storylines about other pets who populate Neopia.
I still don't really know what a NeoPet is, but the deal makes sense from the website's perspective, since this will be a great way to introduce the site to kids who don't know about it, so that they can then beat-up and mock those kids that do.
Previous Entries
Lincoln Won't Be Shot
Steven Spielberg's next project, an Abraham Lincoln biopic, was set to shoot this summer with Liam Neeson starring, but a recent report from Hollywood Elsewhere claims the picture has been put on hold indefinitely.
Does this mean that Spielberg is shifting his attention to Indiana Jones 4 instead? It seems like a good sign. But before we get excited, let's not forget the plight of Liam, who now lost a plum role, and who had probably already purchased a top hat in preparation. Depending on where he bought it, their policies, and if he saved the receipt, he may now be stuck owning a top hat. For God's sake, where is he going to wear a top hat?
Martin To Play Gaye
After years of struggling to get it off-the-ground, a film about Motown legend Marvin Gaye is finally in the works, with Jesse L. Martin set to star in the title role.
The movie chronicles the final years of Gaye, who, after years of battling drugs and having parted ways with Motown, exiled himself to Europe. There, he was rescued by promoter Freddy Cousaert, who helped Gaye record his biggest-selling album, "Midnight Love," which produced Gaye's monster comeback hit, "Sexual Healing." Gaye's life was cut short the day before his 45th birthday in 1984, when his father killed him.
Martin is known to many by his role on the series Law & Order, so Gaye's murder will likely be investigated by a young, good-looking detective and an older, wise-cracking one.
Bateman Joins Emporium
Jason Bateman now is set to star alongside Natalie Portman and Dustin Hoffman in Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. The film, written and directed by Zach Helm, focused on a depressed toy store employee (Portman) who is left the store upon the owner's death, with Bateman playing an accountant hired to appraise the establishment. This is the first feature role for Bateman since Fox failed to renew Arrested Development, opening up his schedule for other projects. With Bateman taking on larger roles, it has improved the chances for me to see the trilogy-ending sequel I've been waiting nearly twenty years for: Adult Wolf.
Steve Buscemi is a Miller
Steve Buscemi is in final negotiations with New Line to star in the comedy We're the Millers:
The story centers on a drug dealer (Buscemi) who realizes on his birthday that he wants out of the business. He decides to do one more job, which forces him to travel to Mexico and create a make-believe family, the Millers, in order to bring 1,400 pounds of marijuana into the U.S.
I'm not sure how making a fake family allows you to bring more drugs into the country, unless it's just more large intestines to shove drugs into. If that's the case, I propose they instead make it about a guy who gets extra intestines added to his body, but it turns out each has a different personality, so they keep getting in arguments while going through customs and things. Chris Rock does the voice of the sassy one, they're animated by Pixar, and we call it My Four Colons. How about it, New Line?
Nacho Libre Trailer
Ain't It Cool News has scored the Internet exclusive trailer for the new Jack Black comedy, Nacho Libre, in which he plays a Mexican wrestler. Black was actually more toned down than I thought he'd be, and the presentation seemed like it may only marginally offend the Mexican people.
I did notice that it seemed like a lot of the jokes centered around being fat, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's for that very reason that I've chosen obesity as this year's Funniest Physical Problem for the fifth consecutive year. Try again next year, hare-lip.
