February 08, 2006
Nativity Gets a Director
Since the Bible proved itself a bit of a "cash cow" with The Passion of the Christ, New Line quickly bought the rights to Mike Rich's script, Nativity, which focuses on the B.C. life of the Virgin Mary:
Rich's script covers the two-year period in Mary and Joseph's life culminating in their departure from Nazareth and 100-mile journey to Bethlehem for the birth of Jesus.
Now, in a recent development, Catherine Hardwicke, director of Lords of Dogtown and Thirteen has been picked to helm the project. I don't think I'm alone when I say she needs to take this in a completely different direction than The Passion of the Christ. Gibson wanted everything so authentic-- it's boring. I think the language thing alone scared off a lot of people. I'm not saying change the story, just add some dinosaurs. Not as main characters or anything, just kind of wandering around so you can say, "Hey, is that a dinosaur back there? I think that's a T-Rex behind the Blessed Virgin." Maybe have a few get their jaws torn open, like in King Kong. And at the end, when she gives birth, maybe Jesus comes out smoking a cigar.
Previous Entries
Preview Flushed Away
Over on the official Flushed Away site there's a sneak peek at the new film by Aardman. The all computer-generated film, featuring the voice talents of Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, and Ian McKellan, is a slight departure for the company, better known for their claymation adventures of Wallace and Gromit. The plot focuses on a rich, upper-crust rat who suddenly finds he must adapt to the real world after falling in a toilet, a story sadly similar to Paris Hilton's.
Seriously, though, this looks like it might have some charm. With the talented boys at Aardman working on it, this might just be the movie I'll carelessly leave a child at this year. Or at least one of the movies.
Which Freddy to Choose?
In a recent interview with Bloody Disgusting, Robert Englund revealed the status of another Freddy movie, saying:
New Line is committed to making at least one more Freddy movie. They have commissioned both a prequel and "Freddy vs. Jason vs. Michael Myers." No word on which one they will actually make or when.
Hmm, which is more appealing? Or perhaps the better question is, should they be written on shit or with shit? I'd say both, but I worry you'd lose some readability.
Rambo Coming Soon
The latest Sylvester Stallone rumor is that after Rocky 6, which already sounds like a stellar concept, he'll star in and possibly write and direct Rambo IV, saying:
It'll be back to back. After I am done with Rocky, I'll go straight with Rambo.
What's with Stallone making all these sequels to the glories of his youth? What's next, a movie recounting his prom night? There's only so long a man pushing sixty can remain a convincing killing machine. This guy needs to get over Rambo and Rocky and get back to whatever other movies he may have made. I think there was one about a cop city.
Neopets: The Movie
Warner Bros. has commissioned Rob Lieber to write a script based on NeoPets, which is to be made into an all CG animated film.
Producers are keeping the concept and logline for the NeoPets project under tight wraps. Created in 1991, NeoPets is tracked by millions of kids who log on to take care of their own virtual pets, as well as follow storylines about other pets who populate Neopia.
I still don't really know what a NeoPet is, but the deal makes sense from the website's perspective, since this will be a great way to introduce the site to kids who don't know about it, so that they can then beat-up and mock those kids that do.
Lincoln Won't Be Shot
Steven Spielberg's next project, an Abraham Lincoln biopic, was set to shoot this summer with Liam Neeson starring, but a recent report from Hollywood Elsewhere claims the picture has been put on hold indefinitely.
Does this mean that Spielberg is shifting his attention to Indiana Jones 4 instead? It seems like a good sign. But before we get excited, let's not forget the plight of Liam, who now lost a plum role, and who had probably already purchased a top hat in preparation. Depending on where he bought it, their policies, and if he saved the receipt, he may now be stuck owning a top hat. For God's sake, where is he going to wear a top hat?
