January 24, 2006

Nacho Libre Pictures

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There are some newish images from the comedy Nacho Libre, written and directed by Jared Hess of Napoleon Dynamite fame. If you think that's a shirtless Jack Black playing a Mexican wrestler, you're spot on. But if you think it's a picture of a fat John Holmes living in the desert, you're probably addicted to pornography.

NOTE: I do have pictures of a fat John Holmes living in the desert, if you'd like them.

More after the jump.

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Previous Entries

Someone Is Willing To Re-Make Magnum P.I.

magnumpithurber.jpgRawson Marshall Thurber, recently voted most affluently named human, has signed-on to write and direct a film adaptation of the popular 80's series Magnum P.I.

Thurber, who wrote and directed the hit comedy "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story," is not making a spoof but rather something akin to the tone of the show, which mixed humor and danger.

How would someone even make a spoof of Magnum P.I.? I mean, the storyline is that the mustached Thomas Magnum, a Navy intelligence officer-turned-private investigator, is paid by a wealthy author/playboy to live in the guesthouse of his vast Hawaiian estate, oversee security with the help of some of Magnum's Vietnam War buddies, and drive his Ferrari, much to the chagrin of the British estate manager Higgins. What is there to mock? The premise is rock solid.

Magnum's leaving the island is still what many believe has made Hawaii the hotbed of criminal activity it is today.

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New Star Trek May Merge Generations

stewartshatner.jpgIn an interview on Britain's ITV, Patrick Stewart revealed new rumors about a forthcoming Star Trek film, saying:

Apparently there's interest in bringing The Next Generation cast together with actors from different Star Trek series.

When asked how the story would explain the merging of different eras, he said, "I don't know, time warps or something? What does it matter? Nerds will eat this shit up."

Can you believe I was mocked in junior high for drawing this very scenario? At least when I kept drawing it. Every day.

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A Taxonomy of Barnacles Optioned

taxonomyofbarn.jpgThe novel "A Taxonomy of Barnacles" has been optioned by Revolution Studios. While no director or cast is yet attached, the premise sounds pretty interesting:

The book, by Galt Niederhoffer, tells the story of six sisters who have been raised by their eccentric father, Barry Barnacle in an amazing New York loft filled with scientific curiosities. When most of his daughters reach adulthood, Barnacle starts a competition: whichever of the girls can carry his name in the most spectacular way will get to inherit his fortune.

My dad had a competition like this, but instead of carrying his name in a spectacular way, we just had to carry him home, however we could. Sometimes it was announced, like, "Alright kids, I'm too drunk to walk home, how are you going to get me back?" Other times, it was more spontaneous, like he'd just pass out somewhere, and the people there would tell us we had to get our dad out of there. We eventually realized our dad had a problem and got him some help. We began paying some other guy to carry him home.

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Lou Reed Hates Factory Girl, Looks Simian

loureedfactorygirl.jpgThe Velvet Underground's Lou Reed hates the new film Factory Girl, in which Sienna Miller plays Andy Warhol's muse Edie Sedgwick. Reed, a friend of Sedgwick, told the New York Daily News,

I read that script. It's one of the most disgusting, foul things I've seen - by any illiterate retard - in a long time. There's no limit to how low some people will go to write something to make money.

The comment upset much of Hollywood, which is composed nearly entirely of illiterate retards. However, to put things in perspective, it's probably impossible to please Lou Reed after the amount of heroine he's done at this point. Nothing can compare to that.

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X-Men 3 Has More Pictures

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New pictures from X-Men 3 have turned up online, featuring our first in-costume glimpses of Psylocke (right), a mutant with telepathic abilities and a "psychic knife," and Stacy X (left), a mutant with the hair of Big Boy.

Sometimes it feels like I've been stabbed by Psylocke's psychic knife, but it always turns out that the psychic pain is just an alcohol-induced depression, and the stabbing pain is just a knife I fell asleep on.

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