January 02, 2006
Joss Whedon on the future of television
TV Guide has a great guest editorial by Joss Whedon on the future of television. It's not very serious and it isn't very informative, but damnit if it isn't funny.
Many people have asked me, "Joss, what is the future of television? What will we watch? And how will we watch it? Surely you must know, for you are wise, and slender." I usually smile and say nothing, because I wasn't actually listening to the question. But it's a good one, and I think it's time I let you in on a few highlights of Television-to-Be.
Sometimes I wish Joss wasn't such a talented bastard so that I could sleep at nights knowing that I'm not a complete and utter failure. Which clearly I am, because last time I checked I neither wrote nor directed Serenity.
Guest Columnist Joss Whedon Eyes the Future of TV [TV Guide]
Previous Entries
No Hulk sequel planned
Despite rumors to the contrary, it seems that neither Eric Bana nor Ang Lee are interested in making a sequel to Hulk. This is great news for everybody, since Hulk was a gigantic pile of cow feces that I'm sure both Bana and Lee wish everybody would just forget about. If they really want to do a Hulk sequel right, they need to lose the story and go with a two and a half hour epic of pure destruction. It probably doesn't sound like a very solid movie, but T3 was very strong and based almost entirely on action scene after action scene. Although it also had a half-naked Kristanna Loken in it, so maybe that's why it turned out so awesome. Okay it's official, they need to replace the CG Hulk with a half-naked Kristanna Loken. They don't even have to paint her green or anything, just make sure that her butt cheeks and the sides of her breasts are visible at all times. Instant classic!
No Hulk 2 says Bana [Movie Hole]
Ultraviolet Poster
A new Russian poster for Kurt Wimmer's Ultraviolet has been released. I have no idea what the movie is, but Milla Jovovich is in it and here's the description according to IMDB:
Set in the late 21st century, a subculture of humans have emerged who have been modified genetically by a vampire-like disease (Hemophagia), giving them enhanced speed, incredible stamina and acute intelligence, and as they are set apart from "normal" and "healthy" humans, the world is pushed to the brink of worldwide civil war (a war between humans and hemophages) aimed at the destruction of the "diseased" population. In the middle of this crossed-fire is - an infected woman - Ultraviolet (played by Milla Jovovich), who finds herself protecting a nine-year-old boy who has been marked for death by the human government as he is believed to be a threat to humans.
The only thing I care about is that Milla Jovovich is in this bad boy. She's usually cast in some pretty terrible movies, but as long as they don't mess with her face or body, it's all good.
Google finanes Broken Arrows
The founders of Google have take it upon themselves to step out of the conquering the world business and into the movie business. They recently announced that they're financing an independent film for their friend, Reid Gershbein, a graphics designer at DreamWorks Animation. The film is called Broken Arrows and according to the site is:
A story of love and a struggle over the virtues of free will versus destiny. It follows the journey of Reese, who becomes a hitman after he loses his wife and unborn child, as he confronts the forces of love, faith, and destiny.
Sure, whatever. The only thing anybody cares about here is that Google is involved. According to my study - which features a lot of graphs and diagrams - Google will become President of the United States in the year 2009. And that's not even an election year.
Broken Arrows [Official Site]
Meiling Melancon is Pyslocke
Meiling Melancon has been confirmed to play the role of Psylocke in the upcoming X3 film. She recently appeared in Brett Ratner's Rush Hour 2, and it's nice to see that he'll be using her again. Because if there's anything X3 is going to need, it's an Asian woman dressed as a deadly telepathic ninja. And by "deadly" I mean "super ultra sexy."
'X-Men 3' has another villain in Melancon [Hollywood Reporter]
Lady in the Water sneak peak
It's not very informative, but this sneak peak of Bryce Dallas Howard in Shyamalan's Lady in the Water is exciting stuff. And I'm not only saying that because Bryce Dallas Howard looks like she's about to go on a knife-wielding murder spree in this shot. Or maybe have blood start pouring out of her eyes and use telekinetic powers to strangle people.
