January 31, 2006
It's Not Called GymNICEtics
If you consider yourself a member of the human race, I demand you watch the trailer for Stick It. The premise is that a stunt bike riding tomboy gets in trouble with the law by breaking a window and has to face the consequences. So she goes to juvenile hall, right? Or maybe has to work really hard to earn enough money to pay for the window? You're probably just narrow-minded enough to think that. Obviously, she has to join a gymnastics team coached by Jeff Bridges.
Though I initially thought the premise was a bit of a stretch, I soon remembered the time that guy robbed a liquor store and had to join a cheerleading team coached by Martin Sheen. And the time that guy murdered a family of six and had to join Michael Keaton's wiffle ball league. Some said the punishment didn't fit the crime, but they sure shut up once they saw Keaton holding that championship trophy over his head.
Previous Entries
Next Harry Potter Film Will Include Other Races
With filming set to start on the fifth, CBBC has revealed that George Harris has been cast as Kingsley Shacklebolt in the fifth Harry Potter film, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Harris is an interesting and accomplished actor, having been in films like Raiders of the Lost Ark and more recently The Interpreter, so I'm sure he'll do fine in the role. My bigger concern is that somehow this news will be the first message to reach an alien race. They'll come to me to explain it, and I'll have to say how Shacklebolt is a member of the Order of the Phoenix, the group set up to fight the evil Lord Voldemort, who works as a Dark Wizard catcher for the Ministry of Magic, whereupon the aliens will recognize us as an idiot race and continue on their way.
Repo Man Sequel Means More Emilio
Alex Cox, director of the 1984 Emilio Estevez cult hit Repo Man, has said in an interview on the newest DVD release of the film that one of the stars has come up with a premise for a possible sequel:
Miguel Sandoval has actually come up with an alternative sequel to Repo Man, for a very small fee, which is -- we steal the idea for John Boorman's film Point Blank. Otto comes back for revenge on the four repo men.
He continued that he hoped to get much of the original cast involved. The news must have been exciting for Estevez, who, before beginnning Bobby, was probably actually working as a repo man. Now if someone could just cobble together a fourth Might Ducks movie, I'd be in Este-Heaven.
Conaco Gets A Pilot
Conan O'Brien's production company, Conaco, has scored a pilot on NBC:
O'Brien's Conaco, along with NBC Universal TV Studio, is behind an as-yet-untitled hourlong drama, formerly titled The Haskett Chronicles, from writer Willie Reale (Keen Eddie). The potential series revolves around a politician who is murdered but is given a chance to come back to the physical world in order to save his soul. This time, he's at a much lower stage in life.
There was a time I'd be excited about a television series being given O'Brien's seal of approval, but at this point I'm worried the series will just revolve around tugging on imaginary hip-strings and pointing out how abnormally tall/big-headed the protagonist is.
This series won't be the first to involve someone dead returning at a lower stage in life, since Skating With Celebrities did so with Dave Coulier earlier this year. Luckily for Coulier, after this point, he can't get any lower.
#1 Single features Lisa Loeb in a thong
In case you haven't been watching Lisa Loeb's reality show, #1 Single, you've been missing stuff like this where she prances around in a thong. I'm not sure what it has to do with her quest to find a boyfriend, but I'm sure the producers wet themselves when she decided to drop her pants. The only premise better than 'a millionaire singer desperate to find a boyfriend' is 'a millionaire singer so desperate to find a boyfriend that she'll drop her pants on national television.'
Maybe in future episodes she'll show off her ability to deep throat a sausage and do the splits. And then in the last episode when she still can't find a boyfriend she'll appear completely naked, offer her body to strangers on the street, and then complain that it's so hard to find a man that'll respect her for her mind.
LSFW clip after the jump.
Kate Beckinsale's sex scene from Underworld: Evolution
All the naughty bits are strategically covered, but I think I finally understand why Underworld: Evolution was universally regarded as being superior to the first. If a naked Kate Beckinsale doesn't make your movie a masterpiece, nothing will. Except maybe Christopher Walken dancing.
