January 17, 2006
Da Vinci Code Has Photographs
Official photos from the upcoming Ron Howard picture, The Da Vinci Code, have finally been revealed, showing stars Tom Hanks and Audrey Tatou in-costume and on-set. Based on the disgustingly popular novel, Tatou plays a gifted French cryptologist who helps to decipher the puzzle, while Hanks plays a giant forehead.
Previous Entries
Superman Is A Jerk
Brandon Routh, our world's next Superman, gave a few bits of choice information regarding the plot of Superman Returns:
Superman leaves without saying a word to Lois Lane and that causes some bitterness on her part. He also confirms that there is only one villain, Lex Luthor.
Hearing this news, I can't help but think of my father, who left my mother and I without saying a word. And how, with his heavy drinking, he too faced only one villain: alcoholism. But mostly, it reminds me of how sometimes he would dress up like Superman and talk for hours about Vietnamese women.
Trachtenberg In Black Christmas
The upcoming remake, Black Christmas, has reportedly cast Michelle Trachtenberg as its star. The film tells the story of a killer who murders a group of sorority girls during their Christmas break.
Of course, many of us will always remember her best as Dawn on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Can you believe she was only 15 then? I have a police report that assures me she was.
Air Bud Pushes The Envelope
A new Air Bud movie is in the works, and you will not believe where he's going now: Australia! To play rugby! As much as I loved the Air Bud series to this point, I think I've got to draw the line here.
Air Bud told us the amazing story of a dog (Air Bud) playing basketball, but it made it believable. I mean, his name was Air Bud. It was implied he would be good at basketball, or flying, or something like that. Air Bud: Golden Receiver expanded the concept to allow the dog (Air Bud) to play football as well. Feasible? Hardly. But audiences were begging for it and we loved it. Air Bud 3 and 4 (World Pup and Seventh Inning Fetch) seem a bit outlandish, allowing a dog (Bud) to play soccer and baseball, but if Air Bud didn't do it, who would? There is no dog better suited to play sports, case closed. My problem just lies in the fact that Air Bud: Spikes Back was such a perfect finale to the series. Volleyball seemed like the place to end this one, but if Air Bud Productions, makers of the Air Bud series, tell me he needs to play rugby as well, then goddammit let's do it.
Wait, I just read that a kangaroo is also involved! Forget everything I just said. This sounds hysterical!
Dead Serious can't be serious
I'm all for vampire movies, but Dead Serious has the craziest plot I've ever read in my entire life: "When right-wing terrorists and a vampire take over a gay bar in New York City, it's the start of a blood-soaked night involving a famed televangelist. Standing in the way are four unlikely heroes. Outnumbered, outgunned, and completely outfanged, they must survive the night and stop the bloodshed before it engulfs the entire city."
Why not throw in some strippers, a clown, and maybe a midget friend named Tony? That'd make the movie even more serious then it already is. And that, my friends, would be super dead serious. Or something.
Jason Statham and Jet Li go Rogue
Empire is reporting that Jason Statham and Jet Li are teaming up again in Rogue, which will be music video director Philip Atwell's debut film. And just to be sure there will be plenty of sweet fighting between Statham and Li, the action scenes will be choreographed by The Transporter's Corey Yuen. Throw in Chuck Norris, and you've got yourself a veritable cornucopia of ass kicking. Either that, or just a lot of roundhouse kicks to the face.
