January 26, 2006
Bambi 2 Preview Is Boring
In an attempt to create a "buzz," Disney has posted a long preview of its February 7 release, Bambi 2. A deer and a rabbit making cute growls for ten minutes may somehow be interesting to children or the mentally ill, but seriously, it was terrible. The only notable section comes near the end, where Bambi provides a strong moral example by preventing domestic abuse between two deer.
Disney may think they can lure me into buying this movie to recreate the sorrowful emotions it brought out in my youth, but they weren't counting on the fact that it no longer takes movies to make me cry. That's right, Disney, I already cry through the majority of my day. Sometimes through the night, too!
Previous Entries
Weezer Is The New Velvet Underground
To the delight of college students from 1995, members of Weezer will be playing The Velvet Underground in the upcoming Edie Sedgewick biopic Factory Girl. Lou Reed will be played guitarist Brian Bell, while drummer Patrick Wilson will take on John Cale.
With the deprecating things Lou Reed has already said about Factory Girl, I can only imagine what he's going to say about this casting. Actually, I can also tell you what I imagine:
Lou Reed sips coffee at breakfast in a posh, New York loft. The phone rings.
Lou: Lou Reed here.
Agent: Lou, it's your agent. Weezer is playing you in that movie you hate.
Lou Reed spits coffee. Smoke shoots out of his ears.
Lou: Not cool!
Jenny McCarthy freaks out in Dirty Love
Apparently it's become my job to save you from watching crappy movies just for the gratuitous nude scenes. I think I accomplished the feat nicely with Kristanna Loken's sex scene in Bloodrayne, but today we turn our attention to Jenny McCarthy's Dirty Love, which got a whopping 3.3 on IMDB. I haven't seen it myself, but it's probaby safe to assume that this is the best scene it has to offer. I mean Jenny McCarthy freaking out and smashing her boobs together like she's lost her mind? That's classic film making if I've ever seen it. Throw in a couple of cowgirl strippers and we've got ourselves an Oscar contender.
Completely NSFW video clip after the jump.
Silent Hill poster contest
These poster voting contests must be working out pretty well, since Sony has thrown up a poster voting site for Silent Hill similar to the MySpace for Sympathy for Lady Vengeance. Obviously I thought number four was the best, but you can head on over and vote for whichever one you liked. Although if it's not number four you're probably an idiot.
Chris Penn found dead
Chris Penn, the younger brother of Sean Penn, was found dead in his Santa Monica condominium yesterday. There were no obvious signs of foul play, but an autopsy is planned to determine the cause of death.
It's always sad when somebody dies, especially when they're as young as Chris was. And although he never had any major leading roles, you'd probably recognize him as that funny fat guy in a number of movies. You can view a list of all his movie credits here, most notable of which is probably his role of Nice Guy Eddie in Reservoir Dogs.
WB, UPN Fuse Into Something
The WB and UPN networks, long-time losers in the network wars, have announced a merger, forming a new entity called The CW Network. CBS CEO Leslie Moonves has deluded herself into thinking that:
The CW is going to be a real competitor -- a destination for young audiences and diverse audiences and a real favorite among advertisers.
The news arrives with the same impact as a neighborhood block sale, bringing unwanted items from several parties into a communal, still un-wanted body. Luckily, the merger promises viewers that flipping past WB and UPN programming will now take half as long.
