November 03, 2005
Tyra Banks gets fat
The next time you take a drunken stroll through the streets and decide to urinate on the nearest fat woman you see, watch out - that fat woman could be Tyra Banks. She recently went undercover as a 350-pound woman to see what it's like to be obese.
It was one of the most heartbreaking days of my life. I started walking down the street and within 10 seconds, a trio of people looked at me, snickered, looked me right in my eye and started pointing and laughing in my face."
Well I'm sure this is a shocking revelation to all of us. Fat people...are made fun of?! Oh my God?! Since when?! I can't wait for the episode where she discovers that child molesters aren't welcome as preschool teachers and quadriplegics don't win the 100 meter gold.
Previous Entries
Jennifer Love Hewitt gets hookery
Jennifer Love Hewitt is getting down and dirty, by starring as a hooker housewife from Texas in a feature based on an article titled "She Had Brains, a Body, and the Ability to Make Men Love Her" that appeared in Texas Monthly magazine. I'm not even sure what that means, but as long as they play up the hooker part and put Jennifer in a bunch of saucy looking outfits, I'm sure this will be the best movie of the year.
- Jennifer Love Hewitt sells her body for sex [Monsters and Critics]
Saw - Rebirth Animated Comic
The official Saw 2 site has an animated comic explaining the Jigsaw Killer's origin and all that fun jazz. Considering the first movie was pretty terrible, I don't know why anybody would even care about this sort of thing. Admirable for the movie company to go the lengths of this, but really nobody's interested. Except for, like, the twelve people that actually did enjoy the first Saw.
- Saw - Rebirth Animated Comic [Official Site]
Lucasfilm's empire is expanding
Lucasfilm has just opened a 3,715 square meter digital animation studio in Singapore and its first release is going to be a TV adapation of its Clone Wars micro series. Give him a few short years and I'm sure George Lucas will own Asia. That's what he does. He takes over continents.
- Lucasfilm extends empire to Singapore [Guardian Unlimited]
King Kong is going to be long as hell
Universal has agreed to release King Kong at it's full three hour run time. Peter Jackson and Universal had originally contemplated a running time of around two and half hours, with a budget around $175 million, but things never go right and the budget went over to $207 million.
Decision to increase the running time and budget was made after Universal brass -- including Ron MeyerRon Meyer, Stacey SniderStacey Snider, Marc Shmuger and Mary ParentMary Parent -- flew to New Zealand to screen the pic. The U delegation knew they were going to see a three-hour version, but hadn't made any decisions on whether to release it. "We expected to see a long movie," said U chair Stacey Snider, "and we loved it. It's a brilliant movie, an epic feast."
This better be as incredible as the poster looks, because it takes a lot more than a giant gorilla to get me to sit still for three hours straight.
- Primates getting pricier [Variety]
Sylvester Stallone is still alive
I wish I was making this up, but Sylvester Stallone is set to star in a sixth Rocky movie, despite being a billion years old.
Stallone told the Daily Variety trade magazine the movie will focus on an aging, widowed Rocky who is reluctant to get back in the ring but ends up doing it "just to compete, not to win." "I am drawing on a lot of my feelings that are in sync with many people's feelings about facing the last chapter of their lives and how they want it to be written," Stallone said.
I think in this one, Rocky loses his old-person medication and then has to enter an underground boxing tournament to win pill money. I don't want to ruin anything, but let's just say that at the end of the movie Rocky has a heart attack and is declared 1 billion years old by a doctor.
