October 10, 2005
The Apprentice gets old
If you missed last week's Apprentice, the teams put together a tech expo for a bunch of old people. What's hilarious is that the old white dude that works for Donald Trump seemed to be as interested in the snacks and stuff as all the other old people. Here he is, a guy that makes a gazillion dollars a day who has to occasionally give Donald Trump a blowjob, and once you put a plate of crackers in front of him he reverts back to the 90-year old guy that he is. I bet he wears a diaper too. That's funny.
Previous Entries
A History of Violence Review
I was walking through Barnes & Nobles checking out the graphic novels section like I always do when I saw "A History of Violence" and had my mind blown. I can't be the only person who didn't know that the movie was based on a comic book, because very few people read comic books and even fewer of those few people read comic books called "A History of Violence." I don't know what the point of this was, but A History of Violence is a good movie. Not nearly as historical as you'd hope it would be, but the violence sure was there. A damn shame about the history thing, though. I find nothing improves psychological dramas more than historical facts and numbers. Anyways, Viggo Mortensen has a weird scar on his lip that I didn't notice during LOTR so that's always fun. Best review ever? Best review ever.
Batman TV mansion doesn't burn down
Earlier reports that Bruce Manor had burned down have turned out to be completely false. Apparently news agencies don't actually use sources anymore, and pretty much just make up whatever they want. Anyways, the alleged house that was burning down was next door to the TV Batman house, and not actually the house itself. In other news, Adam West was almost shot, but it turned out to be another man and not him at all.
Spider-man 3 costumes suck
Word on the street is that the Spider-man 3 costumes aren't looking very promising.
"If you thought the first 'Spiderman' was bad in terms of development, just wait until you see the next film. The first problem is with Venom's costume, which Spiderman wears first. Instead of being pure black, they took a bit from the comic and gave it a disgusting purple tint. In the comic the reason for the tint was to Venom stood out in the shadows, but in film there's no reason for this. Now I've actually seen the costume designs and they're terrible. The purple looks awful.
And yes it gets much, much worse. All I can say about the Hobgoblin outfit is "yikes"! He looks like a skateboarder or something."
Considering Venom and Sandman are going to have to be rendered completely in CG anyways, it's hard to imagine how screwed up the costumes can be. Although I'll admit making Venom purple is pretty lame. Why don't they just give him a skirt and some makeup?
Dane Cook kisses Charlize Theron's ass
And leave it to Jay Leno to make a totally inappropriate comment about how he wanted to switch places with Dane Cook. Why hasn't anybody slapped that big-chinned bastard in the face yet for being a total pervert? The guy does all his interviews while staring at his guests' breasts, and yet when I do it women can't wait to punch me in the face. What an unfair world we live in.
Lost is taking the easy way out
The more they reveal about the hatch, the more it seems like the writers actually have an explanation for everything that's going on. Unfortunately, it looks like the explanation is going to suck horrible ass. Using a research facility that's a combination of polar bears, electromagnetic research, and other weird psychological experiments seems like the easy way out. I know it would be impossible for the final explanation to satisfy me, but I was hoping for something at least a little more interesting than "the whole thing was a huge science project." Make it a little more interesting, like they're actually stranded in the San Diego Zoo and they've just been too stupid to realize it this whole time. It might not be ground-breaking, but at least it'd be funny.
