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'Nymphomaniac' Gets US Distribution, Won't Go to Cannes, Will Have This Threesome

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Lars von Trier's Nymphomaniac has been getting a lot of press for its inclusion of unsimulated intercourse between some notable cast members, but as everyone knows all too well, hardcore sex acts don't mean a thing if there isn't some way to anonymously leer at them. Thankfully, Magnolia Pictures is probably going to take care of that for us.

Deadline reports that the New York-based distributor is likely the one uneasily taking on domestic rights for Nymphomaniac, their $2 million bid easily topping what Vivid Entertainment was offering to sell the film as Hot Shia LaBeouf-Christian Slater SeXXX Tape.

Producer Peter Aalbæk Jensen last December said the movie would be divided into two parts, with each part being edited into a hardcore and Cinemax-safe cuts, and assumedly Magnolia will be putting out the latter versions, the squares. Those looking for the original, uncensored version will just have to wait for the Wet, Wild & Tearful Unrated Edition to hit shelves.

Jensen at that time also said the films should be ready for this year's Cannes, but has since updated Cineuropa (via) with news that they won't be finished in time. The producer explained, "Four editors were working around the clock to meet the Cannes deadline, but we had to give it up - after 268 script pages, 11 weeks of shooting and with 100 hours of material it would have been rape to finish the two films in time for the festival." Which is just as well, as it's not like Lars von Trier is allowed in Cannes anyway, and casually tossing around rape analogies probably isn't going to help things.

Meanwhile, over in the UK, ArtificialEye is handling distribution, and they recently tweeted this new still from the film (above), showing titular star Charlotte Gainsbourg with a dead stare, an anxious, clenched fist, and a couple lascivious dudes. Looks like another wild and wacky sex romp from Lars von Trier!

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