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'Star Wars: The Disney One' May Have Writer, Aged Original Actors

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With Disney moving forward on their Star Wars sequel almost as quickly as the internet can make up rumors about it, the studio has reportedly now found their film a writer and reminder of man's mortality.

Vulture reports that the leading candidate for the job of screenwriting is Michael Arndt, whose work on Toy Story 3 has already given him experience writing for Disney and action figures. He's also written Little Miss Sunshine and The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, as well as a 40-some page Episode 7 treatment that is said to be getting sent to top directors like Brad Bird, Steven Spielberg, and back-up Spielberg J.J. Abrams, just to see if maybe any of them would be up for it. Details of this treatment are of course not being revealed, but word is that the studio is keen on it bringing back a [necessarily] "much older Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, and Han Solo," finally allowing Star Wars movie marathons to follow up Leia's gilded bikini with the stark contrast of modern-day Carrie Fisher, a harsh reminder that you can't be a sexy slave forever. One day you'll be a grown-up slave, who doesn't really act in things much anymore, and then you'll die, and you won't even come back as a Jedi ghost or anything. And they say these things are for kids.

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