Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

'Stolen' Trailer: Nicolas Cage Has 12 Hours To Steal $10 Million To Save His Daughter!


Combining the kidnapped daughter scenario of Taken, the Nicolas Cage-as-a-master-thief-forced-to-return-to-crime conceit of Gone in 60 Seconds, and the ridiculous voiceover of an action preview unearthed from a 25-year-old VHS tape, here's the trailer for Nicolas Cage's latest exceedingly-Cageian project, Stolen.

In typical Cage fashion, typical plays a recently-incarcerated robber whose estranged daughter is kidnapped and held in a moving taxi by Josh Lucas, a former crime partner who's demanding his share of a botched job. Unfortunately, Cage literally burned through that money for some reason, and with the police unwilling to believe such a clichéd Nicolas Cage action premise, "TO SAVE HIS DAUGHTER, HE HAS JUST TWELVE HOURS TO STEAL TEN MILLION DOLLARS." (Source: Distractingly-unprofessional trailer narrator.) As you can imagine, from there, the rest of the film pretty much just shouts itself.

The Simon West-directed film surprisingly hits actual theaters September 14th. A supercut of Cage shouting into cell phones, his elbow furiously jutting out perpendicular to his body, will hopefully spring up well before then.

  • December 5, 2012
    With Seth MacFarlane seemingly putting off his Flintstones reinvention plans as he instead reinvents himself as a host/actor, DreamWorks is taking on the task of primitive family entertainment with The Croods, an animated tale about a neanderthal group led by a rougher-to-look-... / Continue →
  • November 12, 2012
    Following the less-than-lucrative body-swap comedy The Change-Up, The Hangover writers return to the "crazy shit three drunk dudes did" genre for their directorial debut, 21 and Over--which, instead of a bachelor party, involves a 21st birthday night, and now has the subject of... / Continue →
  • October 3, 2012
    The makers of Shrek have some new ogreish, hard-to-look-at characters ready to charm you through a few sequels and maybe a straight-to-video Christmas special: The Croods, a close-knit family of neanderthals led by staunchly-reclusive patriarch Nicolas Cage. When the clan's pro... / Continue →
  • There are Comments